[email protected]

In a message dated 10/27/02 6:13:18 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< During a correspondence I had when I was doing my LLL leader
application process, I got this (paraphrased here): "The more you stay
with your baby, the easier it is to stay with your baby; the more you
separate from your baby, the easier it becomes to separate." The minute a
mom starts to ignore the voice that is her Mother's Instinct, the harder it
becomes to hear it, the easier it becomes to make choices that are less
than natural. I think you know where I'm going with this. :-) >>

Oh gosh. This really is so true.
I got a sick feeling in my stomache when I read this. I truly did have to
work when Trevor was little. Even with my work, we were in collections for
stuff and barely able to get by the first couple of years.
He was in daycare from a very young age, up until 3 yrs. old.
I was also very young, don't know if that had anything to do with it, because
looking back I feel I hadn't gotten my adolescent rebellion over with after
leaving the control of home.
He suffered for it, and I thought it perfectly natural to spend time away
from him.
I never wanted to be away working, but it still took a huge paradigm shift to
see how much I could love being with him all the time.

Ren

Dalene and Andy

>>"The more you stay
with your baby, the easier it is to stay with your baby; the more you
separate from your baby, the easier it becomes to separate."

Couldn't agree with it more. I see it with my friends, first they dropped their kids for one morning at daycare, then two, then three. And the really sad thing is they think I'm lazy choosing to be with my kids instead of dropping them and earning some money.

Dalene


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Stephanie Elms

> >>"The more you stay
> with your baby, the easier it is to stay with your baby; the more you
> separate from your baby, the easier it becomes to separate."
>
> Couldn't agree with it more. I see it with my friends, first
> they dropped their kids for one morning at daycare, then two,
> then three. And the really sad thing is they think I'm lazy
> choosing to be with my kids instead of dropping them and
> earning some money.
>
> Dalene

It is sad...my hubby's partner (he has his own IT consulting company) had a baby
about 3 years ago. The supposedly bfing friendly dr told her at the *2 day* check
up that the baby was nursing too frequently and to try to stretch out the feedings.
I saw her at 3 days and noticed the baby rooting. Mom told me what the dr said and
gave a paci. I tried to explain a bit about building up the supply and what I
had learned with my oldest. She didn't listen. At the 2week appt, the baby had
not gained back her weight, the dr suggested formula, baby gulped it down, the mom
tried to pump got nothing and decided that she did not make enough milk. This
then made it easier to leave the baby. At 6 weeks, they left the baby overnight
with the grandparents so they could get some sleep. I could not IMAGINE being
away from my 6 week old overnight! I am just trying to figure out if my almost
3 yo will be ready in Dec and hubby and I can get a hotel room after the company
christmas party. :o)

BTW, I am not saying that formula feeding always leads to more separation from the
baby (a very good friend of mine bottlefed her oldest two (limited supply due to
breast reduction which she was able to somewhat over come and nursed (with supplements
her youngest for a year). But it sure as heck makes it easier. Hubby's partner
was telling me last month or so that they were hoping the company made more money
this year, so that his wife could stay home more with their dd (and new baby born
in Oct). I had to bite my tongue...I have been home for 3 years now and hubby and
his partner make the exact same salary. Our house is smaller, we don't go out to
fancy dinners or vacations as much and we don't have half the debt that they do.
But we are in NO WAY deprived...we have a great house, a place at the beach
and enough flexibility to not have to worry *too* much about money. It is scary, they
live on twice the income we do and a couple of years ago when the company had a cash
flow issue, we lent the company the money to cover it because they did not have
any available! Amazing to me....

Many of my friends are surprised that I would want to homeschool and be at home
with my kids all day. What a shame...

Stephanie E.

Mary Bianco

>From: "Stephanie Elms" <stephanie.elms@...>

<<At 6 weeks, they left the baby overnight with the grandparents so they
could get some sleep. I could not IMAGINE being away from my 6 week old
overnight!>>


That's sad, it really is. What's worse is my niece had that beat. She left
her first born with her parents overnight starting at 2 weeks old. I don't
even talk to them anymore. Couldn't handle them at all. Gee, wonder why?

Mary B (and yes I did try earlier before the baby was even born)

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