[email protected]

In a message dated 10/25/02 7:42:57 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I think it's very sad that you would be so rude to a newcomer on the
list. I think it's sad that you would be intolerant of other
people's parenting practices. Even if it does give you cold chills,
there are much nicer ways to talk to people you disagree with. You
catch more flies with honey...
>>

This list (as stated before) is not the end all, be all of email lists.
If the person that stated pro-spanking views hadn't figured out that this is
not the place for tolerance of all parenting practices, then she has now!!

Trevor (almost 13y.o.) said "you can't be an unschooler and spank" I asked
why he believed that.
"you have to be patient, you can't hit kids cuz they aren't doing what you
want, if you're going to be a true unschooler you have to be patient"
Then added "the President can't go around hitting the Vice President and all
the other people that work for him just because they aren't doing everything
he wants, Why should you be able to do that to kids? I don't see much
difference, just age."

And then, just now, my son recalled the one and only time his Father hit him
with a long stick. It almost ended my marriage, we split up not long after
that......
But, just recalling that moment made him cry. And reminded me of the awful
damage we did. I apologized for not stopping it, or leaving the house with
the kids that day and not coming back until he agreed to not hit his son.
How can anyone coming to this list not hear the pain in people's stories?
How can anyone trying to follow the example of Christ not see that he would
NEVER have advocated hitting anyone, much less helpless children?
And how can another person come on and defend someone like that? This list
isn't about tolerance, it's about unschooling and that is also gentle
parenting.

I asked Trevor if being spanked helped him obey God, he said "No, it made me
hate my Dad"
So good luck with producing anything but fear and hate in your family by
hitting innocent people.
It ain't gonna happen.
Violence produces more violence, anger and fear.
Love produces more love, peace and joy.
Love is always the answer.

Ren