Children choosing parents
[email protected]
I don't believe in a "God" separate from humankind. Basically the spirit of
(wo)man is "God". That belief leds me to the conclusion that children do
choose their parents. I don't say this to justify abuse. I had an abusive
parent. The lessons I've learned and the person I am is in large part because
of that abusive parent. I don't believe I'd try half as hard to be a better
parent if I didn't have the parents I had. That's not to say that the abuse
was needed or contributed anything positive to my life. It didn't. But the
negative experiences I had because of that abuse do make me more aware of the
impact I have on my son's life. And it makes me try harder to be a better
parent. Life is a constant series of lessons learned through experiences,
good and bad. And I also believe in reincarnation, so who knows what I was
about in a prior life?
Cherry in GA
On Fri, 25 Oct 2002 04:05:06 -0000 "kayb85" writes:
any idea what kind of crap people do to their kids out there? Is it okay
for parents to make their kids drink piss because they forgot to flush
the toilet? How about beating them bloody for not brushing their hair
right and then locking them in a hot, stuffy attic room for 3 days with
no bathroom and no food? Is that really all okay with God? If he
intentionally places kids with those parents then he's one sick bastard.
(wo)man is "God". That belief leds me to the conclusion that children do
choose their parents. I don't say this to justify abuse. I had an abusive
parent. The lessons I've learned and the person I am is in large part because
of that abusive parent. I don't believe I'd try half as hard to be a better
parent if I didn't have the parents I had. That's not to say that the abuse
was needed or contributed anything positive to my life. It didn't. But the
negative experiences I had because of that abuse do make me more aware of the
impact I have on my son's life. And it makes me try harder to be a better
parent. Life is a constant series of lessons learned through experiences,
good and bad. And I also believe in reincarnation, so who knows what I was
about in a prior life?
Cherry in GA
On Fri, 25 Oct 2002 04:05:06 -0000 "kayb85" writes:
> And as much as I don't agree with the way many parents raise theirUG! This whole post is just really, really repulsive to me. Do you have
> kids, God placed those families there and they have the right to
> raise them as they see fit, even if it means the kids get punished
> in ways I don't approve of.
any idea what kind of crap people do to their kids out there? Is it okay
for parents to make their kids drink piss because they forgot to flush
the toilet? How about beating them bloody for not brushing their hair
right and then locking them in a hot, stuffy attic room for 3 days with
no bathroom and no food? Is that really all okay with God? If he
intentionally places kids with those parents then he's one sick bastard.
Mary Bianco
>From: <savagewilson@...><<I don't believe in a "God" separate from humankind. Basically the spirit
of (wo)man is "God". That belief leds me to the conclusion that children do
choose their parents. I don't say this to justify abuse. I had an abusive
parent. The lessons I've learned and the person I am is in large part
because of that abusive parent. I don't believe I'd try half as hard to be
a better parent if I didn't have the parents I had. That's not to say that
the abuse was needed or contributed anything positive to my life. It
didn't. But the negative experiences I had because of that abuse do make me
more aware of the impact I have on my son's life. And it makes me try
harder to be a better parent. Life is a constant series of lessons learned
through experiences, good and bad. And I also believe in reincarnation, so
who knows what I was
about in a prior life?>>
Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands? Just wondering as I never heard this
point of view before.
Mary B
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[email protected]
I don't explain or justify it. Abuse is never justified. The way I see it
that parent will pay for not honoring that child and for not guiding that
child in a responsible and loving way. Where and how they will pay I don't
know? But it will happen. I believe this from my own experiences with an
abusive parent.
I wasn't clear enough. I believe man creates by thought, by deed and by
words. I don't believe everyone's world is the same as mine. I should more
correctly have said that I chose MY parents and I believe MY child chose his.
If a person believes that Jesus or Jehovah or some other God created them than
I accept that in THEIR world that is reality, but in my world it isn't.
I just read the stories of a couple of posters that touched really close to
home for me. Our parents' actions were wrong, by how do we deny that out of
these situations came people determined to be more loving to their own
children? It would be ideal if evil was not a part of life but it is and it
is for a reason.
Cherry in GA
Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands? Just wondering as I never heard this
point of view before.
Mary B
that parent will pay for not honoring that child and for not guiding that
child in a responsible and loving way. Where and how they will pay I don't
know? But it will happen. I believe this from my own experiences with an
abusive parent.
I wasn't clear enough. I believe man creates by thought, by deed and by
words. I don't believe everyone's world is the same as mine. I should more
correctly have said that I chose MY parents and I believe MY child chose his.
If a person believes that Jesus or Jehovah or some other God created them than
I accept that in THEIR world that is reality, but in my world it isn't.
I just read the stories of a couple of posters that touched really close to
home for me. Our parents' actions were wrong, by how do we deny that out of
these situations came people determined to be more loving to their own
children? It would be ideal if evil was not a part of life but it is and it
is for a reason.
Cherry in GA
Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands? Just wondering as I never heard this
point of view before.
Mary B
Fetteroll
on 10/25/02 1:42 PM, savagewilson@... at
savagewilson@... wrote:
abuse as necessary in child rearing?
Why did Hitler exist?
Joyce
savagewilson@... wrote:
> Our parents' actions were wrong, by how do we deny that out ofBut what of the children that don't come out more loving? The ones that see
> these situations came people determined to be more loving to their own
> children?
abuse as necessary in child rearing?
> It would be ideal if evil was not a part of life but it is and itWhich would be?
> is for a reason.
Why did Hitler exist?
Joyce
Peggy
Fetteroll wrote:
all of us are, innocent. He was severely mistreated as a child and
created evil from that pain and maiming. I believe that he wouldn't
have been as successful in his compulsion to spread his pain as he
was if he hadn't also been supported and surrounded by others who
had also been severely mistreated as children.
The fascination and the horror of Hitler, and his followers, isn't
that he was so different from the rest of us, it is that he is so
the same. The Prussian model of child rearing and education
permeates our entire society. Stalin killed millions, as did Mao,
why don't we feel this same endless fascination with that horror?
The horror of what Hitler created hits us right in the stomach
because we recognize ourselves, our parents, and our grandparents in
him.
Peggy
>I believe he existed because he was born and that he was born, as
> on 10/25/02 1:42 PM, savagewilson@... at
> savagewilson@... wrote:
>
> > Our parents' actions were wrong, by how do we deny that out of
> > these situations came people determined to be more loving to their own
> > children?
>
> But what of the children that don't come out more loving? The ones that see
> abuse as necessary in child rearing?
>
> > It would be ideal if evil was not a part of life but it is and it
> > is for a reason.
>
> Which would be?
>
> Why did Hitler exist?
all of us are, innocent. He was severely mistreated as a child and
created evil from that pain and maiming. I believe that he wouldn't
have been as successful in his compulsion to spread his pain as he
was if he hadn't also been supported and surrounded by others who
had also been severely mistreated as children.
The fascination and the horror of Hitler, and his followers, isn't
that he was so different from the rest of us, it is that he is so
the same. The Prussian model of child rearing and education
permeates our entire society. Stalin killed millions, as did Mao,
why don't we feel this same endless fascination with that horror?
The horror of what Hitler created hits us right in the stomach
because we recognize ourselves, our parents, and our grandparents in
him.
Peggy
[email protected]
I'm sorry I didn't make it more clear that I don't believe the child
(spirit)is choosing an abusive parent. I believe the parent makes the choice
to be abusive. The parent has the capacity to choose to be loving. When the
parent decides to choose the wrong route they place a burden on the child
instead of empowering the child. The child must know seek the loving path. I
believe in responsibility for actions. I made a conscious choice before my
son was born to be a non-spanking, loving parent (I only know 1 other black
mother who doesn't spank, my sister). I have other issues I'm working on
freeing myself of, but I am aware of them. I think conscious (right) choice
is the key to being a loving parent. I feel fortunate that I've met a few in
real-life and plenty on this list.
I think evil is a part of this world because there are still people who choose
to practice it and who choose not to learn from the evil that was practiced on
them. Hitler could not exist without other evil people to facilitate him.
Cherry in GA
From: Fetteroll <fetteroll@e...>
Date: Fri Oct 25, 2002 2:10 pm
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Children choosing parents
ADVERTISEMENT
on 10/25/02 1:42 PM, savagewilson@s... at
savagewilson@s... wrote:
abuse as necessary in child rearing?
Why did Hitler exist?
Joyce
(spirit)is choosing an abusive parent. I believe the parent makes the choice
to be abusive. The parent has the capacity to choose to be loving. When the
parent decides to choose the wrong route they place a burden on the child
instead of empowering the child. The child must know seek the loving path. I
believe in responsibility for actions. I made a conscious choice before my
son was born to be a non-spanking, loving parent (I only know 1 other black
mother who doesn't spank, my sister). I have other issues I'm working on
freeing myself of, but I am aware of them. I think conscious (right) choice
is the key to being a loving parent. I feel fortunate that I've met a few in
real-life and plenty on this list.
I think evil is a part of this world because there are still people who choose
to practice it and who choose not to learn from the evil that was practiced on
them. Hitler could not exist without other evil people to facilitate him.
Cherry in GA
From: Fetteroll <fetteroll@e...>
Date: Fri Oct 25, 2002 2:10 pm
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Children choosing parents
ADVERTISEMENT
on 10/25/02 1:42 PM, savagewilson@s... at
savagewilson@s... wrote:
> Our parents' actions were wrong, by how do we deny that out ofBut what of the children that don't come out more loving? The ones that see
> these situations came people determined to be more loving to their own
> children?
abuse as necessary in child rearing?
> It would be ideal if evil was not a part of life but it is and itWhich would be?
> is for a reason.
Why did Hitler exist?
Joyce
[email protected]
Well said. I just posted a reply to another post with the same sentiment.
But you said it more succintly.
Cherry in GA
I believe he existed because he was born and that he was born, as
all of us are, innocent. He was severely mistreated as a child and
created evil from that pain and maiming. I believe that he wouldn't
have been as successful in his compulsion to spread his pain as he
was if he hadn't also been supported and surrounded by others who
had also been severely mistreated as children.
The fascination and the horror of Hitler, and his followers, isn't
that he was so different from the rest of us, it is that he is so
the same. The Prussian model of child rearing and education
permeates our entire society. Stalin killed millions, as did Mao,
why don't we feel this same endless fascination with that horror?
The horror of what Hitler created hits us right in the stomach
because we recognize ourselves, our parents, and our grandparents in
him.
Peggy
But you said it more succintly.
Cherry in GA
I believe he existed because he was born and that he was born, as
all of us are, innocent. He was severely mistreated as a child and
created evil from that pain and maiming. I believe that he wouldn't
have been as successful in his compulsion to spread his pain as he
was if he hadn't also been supported and surrounded by others who
had also been severely mistreated as children.
The fascination and the horror of Hitler, and his followers, isn't
that he was so different from the rest of us, it is that he is so
the same. The Prussian model of child rearing and education
permeates our entire society. Stalin killed millions, as did Mao,
why don't we feel this same endless fascination with that horror?
The horror of what Hitler created hits us right in the stomach
because we recognize ourselves, our parents, and our grandparents in
him.
Peggy
Todd M.
At 03:12 PM 10/25/02 -0400, you wrote:
I agree :) And I believe the same way. Now I don't have to come up with a
good answer, since Peggy's was so well written. <g>
Todd
"A day without sunshine is, like, Night"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>Well said. I just posted a reply to another post with the same sentiment.==
>But you said it more succintly.
>
>Cherry in GA
I agree :) And I believe the same way. Now I don't have to come up with a
good answer, since Peggy's was so well written. <g>
Todd
"A day without sunshine is, like, Night"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
Kelli Traaseth
Mary said "Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands"
How about mental illness? Parents that didn't have any outlets, people that were raised with alot of abuse and only know that way of dealing with frustration.
Kelli
Mary Bianco <mummyone24@...> wrote:
of (wo)man is "God". That belief leds me to the conclusion that children do
choose their parents. I don't say this to justify abuse. I had an abusive
parent. The lessons I've learned and the person I am is in large part
because of that abusive parent. I don't believe I'd try half as hard to be
a better parent if I didn't have the parents I had. That's not to say that
the abuse was needed or contributed anything positive to my life. It
didn't. But the negative experiences I had because of that abuse do make me
more aware of the impact I have on my son's life. And it makes me try
harder to be a better parent. Life is a constant series of lessons learned
through experiences, good and bad. And I also believe in reincarnation, so
who knows what I was
about in a prior life?>>
Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands? Just wondering as I never heard this
point of view before.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Surf the Web without missing calls! Get MSN Broadband.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/freeactivation.asp
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that die from their parents' own hands"
How about mental illness? Parents that didn't have any outlets, people that were raised with alot of abuse and only know that way of dealing with frustration.
Kelli
Mary Bianco <mummyone24@...> wrote:
>From: <savagewilson@...><<I don't believe in a "God" separate from humankind. Basically the spirit
of (wo)man is "God". That belief leds me to the conclusion that children do
choose their parents. I don't say this to justify abuse. I had an abusive
parent. The lessons I've learned and the person I am is in large part
because of that abusive parent. I don't believe I'd try half as hard to be
a better parent if I didn't have the parents I had. That's not to say that
the abuse was needed or contributed anything positive to my life. It
didn't. But the negative experiences I had because of that abuse do make me
more aware of the impact I have on my son's life. And it makes me try
harder to be a better parent. Life is a constant series of lessons learned
through experiences, good and bad. And I also believe in reincarnation, so
who knows what I was
about in a prior life?>>
Then if that's the way you think, how do you explain or justify the children
that die from their parents' own hands? Just wondering as I never heard this
point of view before.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Surf the Web without missing calls! Get MSN Broadband.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/freeactivation.asp
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
---------------------------------
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Y! Web Hosting - Let the expert host your web site
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