Pam Hartley

----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2543
>Date: Thu, Oct 24, 2002, 1:55 PM
>

> I am new to this list. I have been unschooling my 3
> girls ages 14,12 and 10 for 4 years. I let them lead
> the way most times but sometimes I introduce things to
> them. None of them are anywhere near their public
> school counterparts in math and some other subjects
> like spelling. My oldest dd wants to go to the
> military and college for the medical field, My
> question is this,how do I make sure that she can
> achieve what she so much wants to achieve while
> unschooling? I am feeling the time crunch as she is 14
> now and I don't want to mess things up for her or her
> sisters, whatever they might choose.


Hi Vickie, and welcome to the list!

At 14 with some manner of time constraint (I assume there's a general age
range where she can join the military and achieve her goal) I'd be helping
her to research exactly what the requirements are for what she wants to do.
I would make sure she understood what the requirements were, and that she
also understood that I was completely ready to help her with materials,
resources, car rides, the checkbook, help with the book work if needed, etc.

Then I would leave it up to her to come up with the motivation.

Sometimes, people (even 14 year olds :) will say, "I want to do..." and then
don't actually have enough motivation to follow through. This is a signal to
me that their drive is not really for that goal. And that's okay. I'd like
to be lots of things, but I only have enough time and motivation and skill
for some of them, and learning to sort out what she REALLY wants, and
learning that the motivational buck stops with her, is as important as any
other skill in life.

Pam

Tia Leschke

>
> Sometimes, people (even 14 year olds :) will say, "I want to do..." and
then
> don't actually have enough motivation to follow through. This is a signal
to
> me that their drive is not really for that goal. And that's okay. I'd like
> to be lots of things, but I only have enough time and motivation and skill
> for some of them, and learning to sort out what she REALLY wants, and
> learning that the motivational buck stops with her, is as important as any
> other skill in life.

This is something I'm working through with Lars. Last spring (ironically it
was just about the time *I* had really become comfortable with his never
wanting to do what I considered academic) he announced that not only did he
want to do more "schoolwork" next year, he wanted to try to get a diploma
through the public program he's registered with. While I don't believe
either is necessary, I was willing to help him achieve it.

So far this year (since September) he's put in maybe an hour a week on
academic stuff. I started getting into nagging mode on the whole thing. It
was partly because he'd keep me waiting most of the day with one excuse
after another for why he couldn't to start yet. I finally told him the time
period that I would be available each day to help him. I explained that I
was having trouble organizing my day when I didn't know when I'd need to
help him. He hasn't asked for help since, so I'm assuming that his goal
either isn't really what he thinks it is, or it's coming from someone else.
Tia