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Mary: One thing Kalie gets a LOT of is one-on-one time with me! She's our
only child, and I'm home with her, and all day long she helps me with my
work, and reminds me to play! She sleeps in our room in her own little bed
(half the night), and the other half in ours (if she wakes and wants to), and
we do lots of library trips and shopping and playgrounds and just fooling
around together. I think she gets enough of me!

As far as trying to rile someone up - that is exactly how I would describe
what she's doing, and the look on her face when she does it, although I coul
dn't have put a name on it until now. It was suggested that she is trying to
interact with the other child and doesn't know how, and I think that might be
valid, too, but I also really like your idea that she's bored. She is the
oldest in her playgroup of 4 girls by 6 weeks, and the youngest is 6 months
younger, which can be a lot at age 3. I'd suggested to my husband that I'd
like to get her around some older children (girls and boys), because she
seems more comfortable with the older ones, and also because the older
children don't tolerate hitting, etc. as much - the little ones don't even
react except to scream. Kalie likes to play games, and she's used to asking
questions and having them answered, etc., where the other children still
aren't responding to much and don't "converse' like she does - their language
is still pretty limited. (We talk constantly at our house with her- she
wants to know about everything!)

We also have a different attitude toward children - we repond to Kalie when
she talks, instead of just ignoring or talking over her like the other
parents in our group.All the others are in preschool situations, ballet
classes, etc - not our atttitude at all. They're all concerned about "messes"
at their house, too - when Kalie dumps her toys here, they used to actually
tell her not to, in shocked voices. (It was kind of funny, if it hadn't been
so annying. I made it clear dumping is fine with me.) Maybe it's just time to
find some older, more appropriate playmates for her! (And we've even been
learning the song, "Make new friends, but keep the old.." this week!)

Thanks so much, Mary. I feel much more hopeful about this situation now, with
the help everyone has given.
Linda

Mary Bianco" <mummyone24@...>

Well I'll just throw this question out. Does Kalie get enough attention and
one on one interaction with just you? I know you said she gets plenty of
attention but I mean only you and her. I know it's hard, believe me with my
4 it's hard to take the time for just me and one of them but my husband and
I try very hard to do this often. Even if it's just a trip to the store.

Also she sounds like she's just trying to rile someone up. Maybe she's bored
and needs more stimulation? I'm just talking out loud so if this isn't the
case, disregard!!! Maybe too, she is ahead of playing with her ages. Are
these kids her same age? I know my Alyssa (2) doesn't like to play with 2
year old stuff and does much better with older kids. Then we she does get
around younger ones, she has a tendency to play better because it's
different. But mostly she doesn't like to play like most 2 year olds.

Mary B


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mary Bianco

Hi Linda,

I caught that your daughter was an only child a few posts ago. Sorry, I must
have missed that. And I think Joyce made the remark that maybe she want's to
interact but doesn't know how to go about it. Also when you said that the
kids aren't quite as vocal and such as she is, maybe she does want to play
but just doesn't get the kind of response she's looking for. That mixed with
boredom, again from not getting what she wants can add up to just kicking
someone out of frustration of it all. I can understand that. Maybe trying
some older kids would help.

My Sierra happens to get along great with kids her age and older kids too
but just loves ones a bit younger than her. She has this mother thing she
does and plays really well with 4 and 5 year olds. My son and youngest
happen to like older kids more so but still get along great with kids the
same age or younger. It just seems like a preference they have right now.

I'm sure you'll figure it out in no time with all the great advice flying
around here.

Let us know how it goes.

Mary B


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