Ren: "Children's urge to hit when frustrated"
[email protected]
Hi - I'm relatively new to this list; I've been trying to keep up with all
the posts, but it's been difficult due to time constraints lately even to
read, let alone respond. I'm Linda, and I have a terrific
three-and-a-half-year-old daughter (Kalie). We decided to homeschool, and
since doing some research, feel unschooling is definitely the way to go - we
consider that we're already on our way! (A VERY unpopular, misunderstood
decision with friends and relatives, but it seems you all know all about
that!)
Anyway, I noticed that you mentioned, Ren, that you are working on your
children's urge to hit when they're frustrated. I'd love to know what you're
doing and how you're handling this, and also how old Trevor and Sierra are.
Kalie has taken to doing this sometimes, especially when she's overtired (and
since she has never been a very relaxed sleeper, this is pretty often). She
hit another child on the head (several times, before they were separated)
with a toy at a playgroup recently(although she patted and hugged the other
girl immediately afterward), and will also try to kick sometimes. It was a
big incident at playgroup, and let's just say we don't feel very welcome
there anymore. Anyway, I want to help her through this the best way possible,
and could use some advice. Reading and talking to parents whose kids have
been through the "threes" leads me to believe this is not unusual, since this
age group can be easily overwhelmed and frustrated, but obviously we can't
let her go around bopping people.
Help?
Thanks.
Linda
In a message dated 10/23/02 5:45:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Subject: progress
the posts, but it's been difficult due to time constraints lately even to
read, let alone respond. I'm Linda, and I have a terrific
three-and-a-half-year-old daughter (Kalie). We decided to homeschool, and
since doing some research, feel unschooling is definitely the way to go - we
consider that we're already on our way! (A VERY unpopular, misunderstood
decision with friends and relatives, but it seems you all know all about
that!)
Anyway, I noticed that you mentioned, Ren, that you are working on your
children's urge to hit when they're frustrated. I'd love to know what you're
doing and how you're handling this, and also how old Trevor and Sierra are.
Kalie has taken to doing this sometimes, especially when she's overtired (and
since she has never been a very relaxed sleeper, this is pretty often). She
hit another child on the head (several times, before they were separated)
with a toy at a playgroup recently(although she patted and hugged the other
girl immediately afterward), and will also try to kick sometimes. It was a
big incident at playgroup, and let's just say we don't feel very welcome
there anymore. Anyway, I want to help her through this the best way possible,
and could use some advice. Reading and talking to parents whose kids have
been through the "threes" leads me to believe this is not unusual, since this
age group can be easily overwhelmed and frustrated, but obviously we can't
let her go around bopping people.
Help?
Thanks.
Linda
In a message dated 10/23/02 5:45:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Subject: progress
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Sierra just came to me crying, because Trevor had taken his skateboard back
>
> and she was having a ball with it.
> He was irritated because he had asked her to leave it alone.
>
> "But I was having fun with it" she wailed.
> "you really were, weren't you?"
> She nods in agreement.
> "I think you really need your own skateboard, don't you Sierra"
> She nods again then shouts "yeah, my very own"
> Then wipes her eyes and says "I KNOW, A Barbie one, then the boys won't
> touch
> it!!
> Then we both laughed.
>
> She walked off a happy child, feeling heard, feeling understood. Not shamed
>
> for taking her brothers toy. Trevor got to keep his feelings of ownership
> intact, and now we have something to search for, a Barbie skateboard.
>
> BIG improvement over my former methods.
> Still working on the children's urge to hit when frustrated....baby steps.
>
> Ren