respect and door-opening
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In a message dated 10/21/02 10:52:22 PM, freeform@... writes:
<< Why? Just because they're adults? Don't children deserve respect as well?
I try to give all *people* the benefit of the doubt, no matter what age
they are. >>
In the 1970's the etiquette of door opening changed here. The rule at UNM
(the state university in Albuquerque where I went) was whoever gets there
first should open the door, and if anyone's carrying things someone else
should open the door. We were trying consciously to remove the "men open
doors for ladies" situation, because some of the "ladies" were trying to be
tacky about it, so in many letters to the university newspaper, that became
the new "rules" for us to try.
There have been a couple of times since then when I have opened the door for
another woman and she walked through all snooty like without saying "thank
you" or anything. That's irritating.
My kids will open the door for anyone, and if someone else is holding the
door when they go through, even if it's someone in their own family, they say
"thank you." Because that's the way Keith and I go through doors. And they
will hold doors a long time, just to collect those "thank yous" from other
people.
Two kinds of people I hesitate to open a door for, until I've made some eye
contact or sized up the situation a little better: Much older men and much
younger children. Sometimes if I open a door for a little kid I ruin
EVERYTHING, because he or she was struggling to do that independently. So I
wait to see how they're doing, and I'll hang back to let them finish if it
looks like they'll succeed. Or I'll say "Do you want help?" and I'll help
JUST a little, and then say "That's a really hard door," or "This one's
heavier than some of the other doors. You're strong!"
With older men, if they're still spry I'll let them open it for me and thank
them nicely. I'm 49, so I mean senior citizen older guys, in their 60's or
better. Guys who could be my dad.
Sandra
<< Why? Just because they're adults? Don't children deserve respect as well?
I try to give all *people* the benefit of the doubt, no matter what age
they are. >>
In the 1970's the etiquette of door opening changed here. The rule at UNM
(the state university in Albuquerque where I went) was whoever gets there
first should open the door, and if anyone's carrying things someone else
should open the door. We were trying consciously to remove the "men open
doors for ladies" situation, because some of the "ladies" were trying to be
tacky about it, so in many letters to the university newspaper, that became
the new "rules" for us to try.
There have been a couple of times since then when I have opened the door for
another woman and she walked through all snooty like without saying "thank
you" or anything. That's irritating.
My kids will open the door for anyone, and if someone else is holding the
door when they go through, even if it's someone in their own family, they say
"thank you." Because that's the way Keith and I go through doors. And they
will hold doors a long time, just to collect those "thank yous" from other
people.
Two kinds of people I hesitate to open a door for, until I've made some eye
contact or sized up the situation a little better: Much older men and much
younger children. Sometimes if I open a door for a little kid I ruin
EVERYTHING, because he or she was struggling to do that independently. So I
wait to see how they're doing, and I'll hang back to let them finish if it
looks like they'll succeed. Or I'll say "Do you want help?" and I'll help
JUST a little, and then say "That's a really hard door," or "This one's
heavier than some of the other doors. You're strong!"
With older men, if they're still spry I'll let them open it for me and thank
them nicely. I'm 49, so I mean senior citizen older guys, in their 60's or
better. Guys who could be my dad.
Sandra
Myranda
Maybe it's a southern thing, but all men open doors for ladies around these parts. Doors to businesses, car doors, doors of houses, any door. Even though we juggle getting 3 kids into car seats, and loading tons of bags when we go to the grocery store, DH still opens and closes the car door for me. When we were in Ohio once, an older man (probably aroung 70) stopped and said he wanted to shake my DH's hand - said he saw way too many husbands not showing basic respect like that to their wives. I accidentally embarrased the heck out of the Coke delivery guy once when I tried to be nice and hold the door to a c-store open for him to get thru with his loaded dolly.
Myranda
From: SandraDodd@...
In the 1970's the etiquette of door opening changed here. The rule at UNM
(the state university in Albuquerque where I went) was whoever gets there
first should open the door, and if anyone's carrying things someone else
should open the door. We were trying consciously to remove the "men open
doors for ladies" situation, because some of the "ladies" were trying to be
tacky about it, so in many letters to the university newspaper, that became
the new "rules" for us to try.
There have been a couple of times since then when I have opened the door for
another woman and she walked through all snooty like without saying "thank
you" or anything. That's irritating.
My kids will open the door for anyone, and if someone else is holding the
door when they go through, even if it's someone in their own family, they say
"thank you." Because that's the way Keith and I go through doors. And they
will hold doors a long time, just to collect those "thank yous" from other
people.
Two kinds of people I hesitate to open a door for, until I've made some eye
contact or sized up the situation a little better: Much older men and much
younger children. Sometimes if I open a door for a little kid I ruin
EVERYTHING, because he or she was struggling to do that independently. So I
wait to see how they're doing, and I'll hang back to let them finish if it
looks like they'll succeed. Or I'll say "Do you want help?" and I'll help
JUST a little, and then say "That's a really hard door," or "This one's
heavier than some of the other doors. You're strong!"
With older men, if they're still spry I'll let them open it for me and thank
them nicely. I'm 49, so I mean senior citizen older guys, in their 60's or
better. Guys who could be my dad.
Sandra
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Myranda
From: SandraDodd@...
In the 1970's the etiquette of door opening changed here. The rule at UNM
(the state university in Albuquerque where I went) was whoever gets there
first should open the door, and if anyone's carrying things someone else
should open the door. We were trying consciously to remove the "men open
doors for ladies" situation, because some of the "ladies" were trying to be
tacky about it, so in many letters to the university newspaper, that became
the new "rules" for us to try.
There have been a couple of times since then when I have opened the door for
another woman and she walked through all snooty like without saying "thank
you" or anything. That's irritating.
My kids will open the door for anyone, and if someone else is holding the
door when they go through, even if it's someone in their own family, they say
"thank you." Because that's the way Keith and I go through doors. And they
will hold doors a long time, just to collect those "thank yous" from other
people.
Two kinds of people I hesitate to open a door for, until I've made some eye
contact or sized up the situation a little better: Much older men and much
younger children. Sometimes if I open a door for a little kid I ruin
EVERYTHING, because he or she was struggling to do that independently. So I
wait to see how they're doing, and I'll hang back to let them finish if it
looks like they'll succeed. Or I'll say "Do you want help?" and I'll help
JUST a little, and then say "That's a really hard door," or "This one's
heavier than some of the other doors. You're strong!"
With older men, if they're still spry I'll let them open it for me and thank
them nicely. I'm 49, so I mean senior citizen older guys, in their 60's or
better. Guys who could be my dad.
Sandra
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]