anger management for a 5 year old
kayb85
Hi,
My son (5 years old) had a conversation with me last night. He had
just dumped a huge bucket of crayons all over the place. I was
laying with him in bed and asked him why he did it. He said it was
because he was mad at his sister. I told him that just because he
was made doesn't mean he should make a huge mess like that, and he
said, "Then what SHOULD I do?" I didn't know what to suggest except
going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
tell him to do when he's mad?
Thanks,
Sheila
My son (5 years old) had a conversation with me last night. He had
just dumped a huge bucket of crayons all over the place. I was
laying with him in bed and asked him why he did it. He said it was
because he was mad at his sister. I told him that just because he
was made doesn't mean he should make a huge mess like that, and he
said, "Then what SHOULD I do?" I didn't know what to suggest except
going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
tell him to do when he's mad?
Thanks,
Sheila
Pam Hartley
----------
(Water balloons against the fence work here, but we're about to be shut out
of that for the season ;)
Personally, I clean things. <g> Nothing like scrubbing a few guinea pig
cages to give a woman a calming down.
Pam
>From: [email protected]Does he like to throw things? How about one of those nerf dart boards?
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2509
>Date: Sun, Oct 20, 2002, 9:40 AM
>
> My son (5 years old) had a conversation with me last night. He had
> just dumped a huge bucket of crayons all over the place. I was
> laying with him in bed and asked him why he did it. He said it was
> because he was mad at his sister. I told him that just because he
> was made doesn't mean he should make a huge mess like that, and he
> said, "Then what SHOULD I do?" I didn't know what to suggest except
> going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
> lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
> tell him to do when he's mad?
(Water balloons against the fence work here, but we're about to be shut out
of that for the season ;)
Personally, I clean things. <g> Nothing like scrubbing a few guinea pig
cages to give a woman a calming down.
Pam
Jon and Rue Kream
Here's what my five year old came up with on her own: She has a puzzle with
about 25 pieces (not too hard, not too easy) that she puts together when
she's mad. By the time she finishes she feels better and can talk about
what's bothering her. ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
about 25 pieces (not too hard, not too easy) that she puts together when
she's mad. By the time she finishes she feels better and can talk about
what's bothering her. ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/20/02 10:09:27 AM, sheran@... writes:
<< I didn't know what to suggest except
going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
tell him to do when he's mad? >>
Breathe real deep five times.
or
run around the outside of the house making hooting noises
or
write a note you will save for him to give his sister when they're grown
or
line his shoes up wrong
or
draw a picture of the monster he would like to become when he's angry
or any two or three or all of the above
<< I didn't know what to suggest except
going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
tell him to do when he's mad? >>
Breathe real deep five times.
or
run around the outside of the house making hooting noises
or
write a note you will save for him to give his sister when they're grown
or
line his shoes up wrong
or
draw a picture of the monster he would like to become when he's angry
or any two or three or all of the above
marji
At 16:08 10/20/02 +0000, Sheila wrote:
marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Hi,How cool is that?
> My son (5 years old) ... said, "Then what SHOULD I do?"
marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/20/02 11:09:28 AM Central Daylight Time, sheran@...
writes:
his room and scream... give him an outlet for his anger. Enroll him in Karate
or taekwondoe. He may think punching a pillow is stupid, but get him in front
of a bag and have him kick. The only thing Jack says after Karate is,
"Didcha' see that Mom?" with the biggest grin.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should ICome talk to you, go outside and run around, jump on the trampoline, go to
> tell him to do when he's mad?
> Thanks,
> Sheila
>
his room and scream... give him an outlet for his anger. Enroll him in Karate
or taekwondoe. He may think punching a pillow is stupid, but get him in front
of a bag and have him kick. The only thing Jack says after Karate is,
"Didcha' see that Mom?" with the biggest grin.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dalene and Andy
I think this is an important topic, especially since so many adults seem to struggle with this too. Personally I think the first thing to do is take a deep breath or count to ten and move away from whatever/ or whoever caused the anger, then to go off and do something that can help you calm down - that would greatly depend on the individual - some kids might prefer to do something calm like a puzzle or drawing, while others might need something more active like the trampoline or a punching bag. It would be worth exploring with one's own child what he/she could do to make him/her calm down. And then lastly I think that it might be a good skill to learn to return after one has calmed down, and use an I message to express your feelings. Especially if another person was involved, but even if the child's anger was caused by an object, he/she might just like to share his feelings with another person.
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the_clevengers
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "kayb85" <sheran@p...> wrote:
favorites. The Screaming Tree is a tree in the yard that you can go
and scream at if you feel like it. You can also call it any name you
want :-). That worked a whole lot better when we had 4 acres around
us than now when the neighbors are right there. My son still misses
our old screaming tree, it was apparently much better than our new
one. But the angry dance is great - you know, jumping up and down and
shaking your fists while saying things like "I'm SO angry!". I have
been known to do that on occasion, which usually sets the kids to
giggling and gets everyone over it.
Also, we have pillows in most rooms of the house - on the couches,
beds, etc. and those are always good for throwing. Personally, I like
to either throw things, or go off completely by myself if I'm mad.
My son likes to come and have me squeeze him into a little ball on my
lap, as if he's becoming a baby again. Who knows, it works.
My daughter doesn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her. Today in
the car she got really upset and angry and she declared it to
be "Silent Time!!!!" and even had me turn off the radio. After a few
minutes, she said "You can talk now and have music", and she was
totally fine. I thought that was amazing insight for a 3 y.o. She
constantly blows me away with her self-perception. I think she's on
like her 200th incarnation on earth or something, and I'm only on
number 3.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
> So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should IAround here the Screaming Tree and the Angry Dance are the two big
> tell him to do when he's mad?
favorites. The Screaming Tree is a tree in the yard that you can go
and scream at if you feel like it. You can also call it any name you
want :-). That worked a whole lot better when we had 4 acres around
us than now when the neighbors are right there. My son still misses
our old screaming tree, it was apparently much better than our new
one. But the angry dance is great - you know, jumping up and down and
shaking your fists while saying things like "I'm SO angry!". I have
been known to do that on occasion, which usually sets the kids to
giggling and gets everyone over it.
Also, we have pillows in most rooms of the house - on the couches,
beds, etc. and those are always good for throwing. Personally, I like
to either throw things, or go off completely by myself if I'm mad.
My son likes to come and have me squeeze him into a little ball on my
lap, as if he's becoming a baby again. Who knows, it works.
My daughter doesn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her. Today in
the car she got really upset and angry and she declared it to
be "Silent Time!!!!" and even had me turn off the radio. After a few
minutes, she said "You can talk now and have music", and she was
totally fine. I thought that was amazing insight for a 3 y.o. She
constantly blows me away with her self-perception. I think she's on
like her 200th incarnation on earth or something, and I'm only on
number 3.
Blue Skies,
-Robin-
Dalene and Andy
>> I think she's onlike her 200th incarnation on earth or something, and I'm only on
number 3
That made me smile. I often wonder how many lifes my children have had before this one. Who knows??
Dalene
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stephanie Elms
> My son (5 years old) had a conversation with me last night. He hadSounds like a conversation that I had with my 5 yo not to long ago!
> just dumped a huge bucket of crayons all over the place. I was
> laying with him in bed and asked him why he did it. He said it was
> because he was mad at his sister. I told him that just because he
> was made doesn't mean he should make a huge mess like that, and he
> said, "Then what SHOULD I do?" I didn't know what to suggest except
> going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was stupid!
> lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What should I
> tell him to do when he's mad?
When I suggested that he hit a pillow, he said that it was too soft.
I suggested hitting the arm of the couch. He said that it was not right
either. When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only thing
that would be just right would be something that had skin with bone
under it.
I have been working on getting him to breathe, come find me or try to
find the words to tell Kyle that he is mad. I like the idea of throwing
nerf balls. I have also been making more of an effort to put his feelings
into words and help him explain them to Kyle (and to himself).
Stephanie E.
Nora or Devereaux Cannon
He said that it was not right
| either. When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only
thing
| that would be just right would be something that had skin with
bone
| under it.
Only half in jest - assure him that managing his anger is
something you value the opportunity to help him with. Take a
piece of PVC pipe for bone, build some muscles of batting in
plastic bags (fascia and "give") attached to the pipe by running
strings though the opening (tendon-like), cover with a few more
layers of batting, then some ultrasuede (skin-like) fabric. I
would probably take a big wooden bead, tie a string to it, run
the string through the pipe and add a label on the other end of
the string "Johnny's Hitting Pillow".
| either. When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only
thing
| that would be just right would be something that had skin with
bone
| under it.
Only half in jest - assure him that managing his anger is
something you value the opportunity to help him with. Take a
piece of PVC pipe for bone, build some muscles of batting in
plastic bags (fascia and "give") attached to the pipe by running
strings though the opening (tendon-like), cover with a few more
layers of batting, then some ultrasuede (skin-like) fabric. I
would probably take a big wooden bead, tie a string to it, run
the string through the pipe and add a label on the other end of
the string "Johnny's Hitting Pillow".
----- Original Message -----
From: "Stephanie Elms" <stephanie.elms@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, October 21, 2002 11:13 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] anger management for a 5 year
old
| > My son (5 years old) had a conversation with me last night.
He had
| > just dumped a huge bucket of crayons all over the place. I
was
| > laying with him in bed and asked him why he did it. He said
it was
| > because he was mad at his sister. I told him that just
because he
| > was made doesn't mean he should make a huge mess like that,
and he
| > said, "Then what SHOULD I do?" I didn't know what to suggest
except
| > going upstairs and punching his pillow. He thought that was
stupid!
| > lol So I told him I would think about it. Any ideas? What
should I
| > tell him to do when he's mad?
|
| Sounds like a conversation that I had with my 5 yo not to long
ago!
| When I suggested that he hit a pillow, he said that it was too
soft.
| I suggested hitting the arm of the couch. He said that it was
not right
| either. When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only
thing
| that would be just right would be something that had skin with
bone
| under it.
|
| I have been working on getting him to breathe, come find me or
try to
| find the words to tell Kyle that he is mad. I like the idea of
throwing
| nerf balls. I have also been making more of an effort to put
his feelings
| into words and help him explain them to Kyle (and to himself).
|
| Stephanie E.
|
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[email protected]
In a message dated 10/21/02 10:14:45 PM, stephanie.elms@...
writes:
<< When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only thing
that would be just right would be something that had skin with bone
under it. >>
That made me laugh! (maybe if I laugh loud enough some kid will get up and
feed me)
I would have said "Does it have to be alive?"
"Does it have to be bigger than a breadbox?"
Then I would have said there are people in prison because they HAD to hit (or
stab or shoot) something made of skin with bone under it, and he should THINK
about his instinctive need to hit a human, and then figure out some tricks to
avoid it for the rest of his life if he wants to stay out of jail, where the
food is probably really bad. Not even goldfish and fig newtons.
Sandra
writes:
<< When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only thing
that would be just right would be something that had skin with bone
under it. >>
That made me laugh! (maybe if I laugh loud enough some kid will get up and
feed me)
I would have said "Does it have to be alive?"
"Does it have to be bigger than a breadbox?"
Then I would have said there are people in prison because they HAD to hit (or
stab or shoot) something made of skin with bone under it, and he should THINK
about his instinctive need to hit a human, and then figure out some tricks to
avoid it for the rest of his life if he wants to stay out of jail, where the
food is probably really bad. Not even goldfish and fig newtons.
Sandra
Betsy
**and then figure out some tricks to
avoid it for the rest of his life if he wants to stay out of jail, where
the
food is probably really bad. Not even goldfish and fig newtons. **
I've heard of a prison punishment regime where you get a brick of
(mostly adulterated) meatloaf for all three meals a day, for a long
period of time.
That would scare almost anyone straight!
Betsy
avoid it for the rest of his life if he wants to stay out of jail, where
the
food is probably really bad. Not even goldfish and fig newtons. **
I've heard of a prison punishment regime where you get a brick of
(mostly adulterated) meatloaf for all three meals a day, for a long
period of time.
That would scare almost anyone straight!
Betsy
[email protected]
<<I've heard of a prison punishment regime where you get a brick of
(mostly adulterated) meatloaf for all three meals a day, for a long
period of time.
That would scare almost anyone straight!
Betsy>>
I used to work in the San Diego jail and I saw what and how food was
served to the inmates. You are right, it's enough to scare you straight!
The worst were the "sandwiches" served EVERY day, dried out bread and
bologna, "affectionately" referred to as "Duffy Burgers" (the sheriff's
last name being Duffy).
My conclusion from my observations is the jail or prison negatively
alters a person's mind. I think even marginal folks can be damaged
mentally from incarceration. The other thought was how much it resembled
public school. *grin*
Kris
________________________________________________________________
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(mostly adulterated) meatloaf for all three meals a day, for a long
period of time.
That would scare almost anyone straight!
Betsy>>
I used to work in the San Diego jail and I saw what and how food was
served to the inmates. You are right, it's enough to scare you straight!
The worst were the "sandwiches" served EVERY day, dried out bread and
bologna, "affectionately" referred to as "Duffy Burgers" (the sheriff's
last name being Duffy).
My conclusion from my observations is the jail or prison negatively
alters a person's mind. I think even marginal folks can be damaged
mentally from incarceration. The other thought was how much it resembled
public school. *grin*
Kris
________________________________________________________________
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
Only $9.95 per month!
Visit www.juno.com
Stephanie Elms
> << When I asked him for suggestions, he said that the only thingActually I did laugh. I do love his honesty. :o)
> that would be just right would be something that had skin with bone
> under it. >>
>
> That made me laugh! (maybe if I laugh loud enough some kid
> will get up and
> feed me)
Hope that someone has fed you!
Stephanie E.
Stephanie Elms
> Only half in jest - assure him that managing his anger isNow there's an idea LOL! But I am sure he would find that it was not
> something you value the opportunity to help him with. Take a
> piece of PVC pipe for bone, build some muscles of batting in
> plastic bags (fascia and "give") attached to the pipe by running
> strings though the opening (tendon-like), cover with a few more
> layers of batting, then some ultrasuede (skin-like) fabric. I
> would probably take a big wooden bead, tie a string to it, run
> the string through the pipe and add a label on the other end of
> the string "Johnny's Hitting Pillow".
exactly right (he tends to be very specific about things...he refuses
to wear jeans, has to have his socks inside out, will not wear socks
with terry cloth insides (I have to buy white girls bobby socks),
you name it). His shoes have to be double tied so that the shoelaces
do not touch the soles of his shoes. :o)
It is part of what makes him who he is. Cracks me up sometimes too. :o)
Stephanie E.
Kelli Traaseth
Ohhh, does this sound like my son!!
Kelli
Stephanie Elms <stephanie.elms@...> wrote:> Only half in jest - assure him that managing his anger is
exactly right (he tends to be very specific about things...he refuses
to wear jeans, has to have his socks inside out, will not wear socks
with terry cloth insides (I have to buy white girls bobby socks),
you name it). His shoes have to be double tied so that the shoelaces
do not touch the soles of his shoes. :o)
It is part of what makes him who he is. Cracks me up sometimes too. :o)
Stephanie E.
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Kelli
Stephanie Elms <stephanie.elms@...> wrote:> Only half in jest - assure him that managing his anger is
> something you value the opportunity to help him with. Take aNow there's an idea LOL! But I am sure he would find that it was not
> piece of PVC pipe for bone, build some muscles of batting in
> plastic bags (fascia and "give") attached to the pipe by running
> strings though the opening (tendon-like), cover with a few more
> layers of batting, then some ultrasuede (skin-like) fabric. I
> would probably take a big wooden bead, tie a string to it, run
> the string through the pipe and add a label on the other end of
> the string "Johnny's Hitting Pillow".
exactly right (he tends to be very specific about things...he refuses
to wear jeans, has to have his socks inside out, will not wear socks
with terry cloth insides (I have to buy white girls bobby socks),
you name it). His shoes have to be double tied so that the shoelaces
do not touch the soles of his shoes. :o)
It is part of what makes him who he is. Cracks me up sometimes too. :o)
Stephanie E.
Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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