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In a message dated 10/15/02 1:53:44 PM, pamhartley@... writes:

<< they'd also have to
believe you'd protect them from others limiting them, i.e, you would not
have a different set of rules at your parents house). >>

When we go to Keith's mom's and she has candy out she can say "no candy until
dinner" to my kids and make it stick, because we're at her house and it's her
candy. If I have candy in the luggage or in the car, they can have some of
that. Last time we had pretzels to tide them over.

What didn't work at his mom's house was her telling Marty he couldn't have
dessert because he hadn't finished everything on his plate. I said "Marty,
you can have mine," and I slid the little raisen/carrot/mush/something over
to him without even looking at the mother in law. Because she couldn't keep
me from giving my dessert away. I had "earned" it.

I wouldn't try to apply my practices at someone else's house, nor would I
want them applying their practices at my house. If I offer juice to a bunch
of kids I don't want to say to one, "Except you, because it's not organic.
You can have filtered water." I don't offer things I know are allergens to
one of the kids there. When the lactose-intolerant crowd is over, I don't
make ice cream sundaes or milk shakes.

I won't turn off the TV because another kid's family doesn't watch TV. If
that child wants to watch TV, it's fine with me. If she chooses not to,
there are tons of other things in the house to do.

Sandra