Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Drug questions
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/16/2002 6:07:19 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
That's exactly what we've done! I HAVE a teenager---14; he'll be 15 in
January (Time flies!). We've dicussed drugs for years. I've never even puffed
a joint (I'm 42), so my personal experience is quite limited. But we've
talked and talked and talked.
All his friends are doing all kinds of drugs. He told me the other day that
he had just tried marijuana with some buddies. I had told him that I'd rather
that he get in touch with a friend of mine who gets organic dope so that we
KNOW what's in it, but anyway...he thought they were all really goofy and it
wasn't so much the getting high and smoking, but the whole act of DEFYING
their parents. He may do it again and again---I can't say, but he had wanted
to see what all the hullabaloo was about. He's not impressed with some of his
buddies who have become pot-heads---they do NOTHING in their spare time but
smoke. He has other interets (these boys are all in school).
Their parents said only, "Don't do it!". I think the more extreme the limits,
the more likely that the child will MEAN to defy. Cameron told me a day or
two afterwards. I didn't shame him or demand that he NEVER do it again. I DID
reiterate that you can't be sure what all's in the joint (laced with PCP?),
and that I'd rather he question where it came from, etc. As for its leading
to other drugs, why? He has SO much freedom--and he always has. He's
comfortable talking to me about it all.
You can't force a teen to do anything---other than really look forward to
getting out of your home and into his own---just to get away from YOU! That
works every day! I hear teens ALL the time saying how they can't WAIT to get
away.
You CAN be open and honest and giving and forgiving. You CAN have a teen
confide in you and trust you and believe in you.
Do I want Cameron to "get into" drugs? Not my choice. He will or won't. I
just want him to be informed. And to come to me if there's a problem. I won't
shame him if he becomes a coke-head. If he wants to change, I'm there to
help. Besides, it's an INTERNAL thing. I can't coerce him to stop if he's not
willing. It MUST be HIS decision. As are all things.
He's fifteen (almost). He'll be twenty in a VERY short time. If I've done my
job right, he'll be a healthy, well-adjusted adult who CAN make wise choices
because he's always been allowed to, not because he's been forced to. (Same
with food, by the way---some of those children who have been denied
McDonald's all their lives may turn into regular junk-food junkies! Think
about it! <G>)
Kelly
(Here and Doing it)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> A hypothetical question comes to mind. What would you all do if your youngNo longer hypothetical here!
> teenager experiences with serious drugs?? I can not imagine giving them all
> the information and sit back and wait for them to make the right choice??
> Off course it would be near impossible to coerce them into giving it up,
> but I do think I will try.
>
That's exactly what we've done! I HAVE a teenager---14; he'll be 15 in
January (Time flies!). We've dicussed drugs for years. I've never even puffed
a joint (I'm 42), so my personal experience is quite limited. But we've
talked and talked and talked.
All his friends are doing all kinds of drugs. He told me the other day that
he had just tried marijuana with some buddies. I had told him that I'd rather
that he get in touch with a friend of mine who gets organic dope so that we
KNOW what's in it, but anyway...he thought they were all really goofy and it
wasn't so much the getting high and smoking, but the whole act of DEFYING
their parents. He may do it again and again---I can't say, but he had wanted
to see what all the hullabaloo was about. He's not impressed with some of his
buddies who have become pot-heads---they do NOTHING in their spare time but
smoke. He has other interets (these boys are all in school).
Their parents said only, "Don't do it!". I think the more extreme the limits,
the more likely that the child will MEAN to defy. Cameron told me a day or
two afterwards. I didn't shame him or demand that he NEVER do it again. I DID
reiterate that you can't be sure what all's in the joint (laced with PCP?),
and that I'd rather he question where it came from, etc. As for its leading
to other drugs, why? He has SO much freedom--and he always has. He's
comfortable talking to me about it all.
You can't force a teen to do anything---other than really look forward to
getting out of your home and into his own---just to get away from YOU! That
works every day! I hear teens ALL the time saying how they can't WAIT to get
away.
You CAN be open and honest and giving and forgiving. You CAN have a teen
confide in you and trust you and believe in you.
Do I want Cameron to "get into" drugs? Not my choice. He will or won't. I
just want him to be informed. And to come to me if there's a problem. I won't
shame him if he becomes a coke-head. If he wants to change, I'm there to
help. Besides, it's an INTERNAL thing. I can't coerce him to stop if he's not
willing. It MUST be HIS decision. As are all things.
He's fifteen (almost). He'll be twenty in a VERY short time. If I've done my
job right, he'll be a healthy, well-adjusted adult who CAN make wise choices
because he's always been allowed to, not because he's been forced to. (Same
with food, by the way---some of those children who have been denied
McDonald's all their lives may turn into regular junk-food junkies! Think
about it! <G>)
Kelly
(Here and Doing it)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]