serious drugs
Mary Bianco
Not sure I can take a stab at this but I'll try. Hypotheticals can be
tricky. One never really knows what one would do until in that situation.
First of all, my daughter will be 17 in March. She goes to school but of
course is raised now in the same loving surroundings as the other
unschoolers. It wasn't always that way and because of it, had some problems
to deal with. She's now at a point in her life, where she is getting
comfortable with who she is and what she has the power to do and respect and
trust from us in regard to those choices. She is making good choices in her
life and at the young age of 16, has for the most part been through all
kinds of crap some people don't deal with until way later if at all. As sad
as I am about what she has had to go through, I'm glad it's "out of her
system" so to speak. She is the kind of kid that had to learn for herself.
Someone telling her doesn't get it, even the bad choices have to be made by
her and she has to suffer for her own consequences. She'll come right out
and tell you this. She has to learn on her own and as heartbreaking as it
was sometimes to watch, she is a better person for it. Would I be happier if
she would have just taken my advice? Definitely!! But she is in a good place
because of what she went through. I can understand that. I messed up an
awful lot as a teen and way into my adult life. I don't regret it because I
wouldn't be who I am today. I was a hard head like her. And sometimes the
apple doesn't fall far from the tree! <BG>
My daughter knows how we feel about alcohol, pot, cigarettes and other
drugs. She's been educated from early on about them all. She started to
smoke (cigarettes) awhile back and we spoke to her about it. I can't force
her to stop. She says she doesn't do it anymore and that's okay with me. I
trust that she's telling me the truth. We all know that she has and probably
still does smoke a bit of pot from time to time. My husband and I have no
big problem with that. She does know the repercussions of getting caught,
that it's illegal just like drinking for her would be. We also know she's
done that too. I can honestly say that since we've eased way up on her, this
partying behavior has calmed way down. She looks at her year younger cousin
who does rolls (popping a few piils at once like ex) and sees someone just
down right stupid. That kind of stuff scares her and I believe she's never
tried it. I can deal with some drinking and smoking as long as she's
somewhere safe and not driving around with a group doing it in the car.
We've been honest with her and she knows it. Telling the kids stuff to scare
them and never thinking they will for the most part want to try something is
silly. It doesn't work. I know a few people who have said they never tried
any kind of partying but not many. And the not my kid attitude will get you
nowhere. My daughter is also on birth control. It helps regulate what were
painful periods and she has a boyfriend and they have sex. They use condoms
but we all don't want to take the chance of a pregnancy too. It's up front
and simple for us. Be responsible and make wise choices. Of course having
her a virgin would be nice but not practical for her. So we deal with it.
It's not the end of the world if she's comfortable talking about it with us
and again making wise choices. I see that she is.
IF she were to get into drugs and I knew and found out it wasn't a one time
thing, I would step in. Not sure how but I would. I would find her some kind
of counseling or help. I have obviously stepped in before when it was an
issue of safety.
She once had boyfriend who we forbid her to see. Now normally I would say
that doesn't work and I was also the one that allowed her to see him again
after once before banishing him from her life. I thought maybe he grew up
and made some changes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong and
my daughter's life was in jeopardy because of it. She carried on something
fierce. We got her counseling. She continued to talk to him from the school
phone. It finally got the to the point where she started to see from afar
how he was. The young love started to fade and she is very much over him now
and thankful to us for what we did. If it was a matter of me just not liking
him, I would never have made that choice. It was life threatening to her and
I also believe us. So if the drug thing was the same situation, I would
definitely step in.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Broadband?�Dial-up? Get reliable MSN Internet Access.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/default.asp
tricky. One never really knows what one would do until in that situation.
First of all, my daughter will be 17 in March. She goes to school but of
course is raised now in the same loving surroundings as the other
unschoolers. It wasn't always that way and because of it, had some problems
to deal with. She's now at a point in her life, where she is getting
comfortable with who she is and what she has the power to do and respect and
trust from us in regard to those choices. She is making good choices in her
life and at the young age of 16, has for the most part been through all
kinds of crap some people don't deal with until way later if at all. As sad
as I am about what she has had to go through, I'm glad it's "out of her
system" so to speak. She is the kind of kid that had to learn for herself.
Someone telling her doesn't get it, even the bad choices have to be made by
her and she has to suffer for her own consequences. She'll come right out
and tell you this. She has to learn on her own and as heartbreaking as it
was sometimes to watch, she is a better person for it. Would I be happier if
she would have just taken my advice? Definitely!! But she is in a good place
because of what she went through. I can understand that. I messed up an
awful lot as a teen and way into my adult life. I don't regret it because I
wouldn't be who I am today. I was a hard head like her. And sometimes the
apple doesn't fall far from the tree! <BG>
My daughter knows how we feel about alcohol, pot, cigarettes and other
drugs. She's been educated from early on about them all. She started to
smoke (cigarettes) awhile back and we spoke to her about it. I can't force
her to stop. She says she doesn't do it anymore and that's okay with me. I
trust that she's telling me the truth. We all know that she has and probably
still does smoke a bit of pot from time to time. My husband and I have no
big problem with that. She does know the repercussions of getting caught,
that it's illegal just like drinking for her would be. We also know she's
done that too. I can honestly say that since we've eased way up on her, this
partying behavior has calmed way down. She looks at her year younger cousin
who does rolls (popping a few piils at once like ex) and sees someone just
down right stupid. That kind of stuff scares her and I believe she's never
tried it. I can deal with some drinking and smoking as long as she's
somewhere safe and not driving around with a group doing it in the car.
We've been honest with her and she knows it. Telling the kids stuff to scare
them and never thinking they will for the most part want to try something is
silly. It doesn't work. I know a few people who have said they never tried
any kind of partying but not many. And the not my kid attitude will get you
nowhere. My daughter is also on birth control. It helps regulate what were
painful periods and she has a boyfriend and they have sex. They use condoms
but we all don't want to take the chance of a pregnancy too. It's up front
and simple for us. Be responsible and make wise choices. Of course having
her a virgin would be nice but not practical for her. So we deal with it.
It's not the end of the world if she's comfortable talking about it with us
and again making wise choices. I see that she is.
IF she were to get into drugs and I knew and found out it wasn't a one time
thing, I would step in. Not sure how but I would. I would find her some kind
of counseling or help. I have obviously stepped in before when it was an
issue of safety.
She once had boyfriend who we forbid her to see. Now normally I would say
that doesn't work and I was also the one that allowed her to see him again
after once before banishing him from her life. I thought maybe he grew up
and made some changes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong and
my daughter's life was in jeopardy because of it. She carried on something
fierce. We got her counseling. She continued to talk to him from the school
phone. It finally got the to the point where she started to see from afar
how he was. The young love started to fade and she is very much over him now
and thankful to us for what we did. If it was a matter of me just not liking
him, I would never have made that choice. It was life threatening to her and
I also believe us. So if the drug thing was the same situation, I would
definitely step in.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Broadband?�Dial-up? Get reliable MSN Internet Access.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/default.asp
Myranda
Wow, sounds like you and your daughter are really close. That's what I want for my kids and me, for them to be able to come to me and talk about stuff, and for me to be able to know what's going on in their lives. By the time I was 16, I'd been involved in so many illegal things, many potentially life-threatening, and my mom to this day does not have a clue about any of it. I don't know if it would have done me any good if she had, I certainly was not in the habit of listening to her. <g> But I would have at least thought about what she had to say, and possibly acted on some parts of it. Looking back, I realize that I'm lucky to be here and in one piece.
Myranda
From: Mary Bianco
Not sure I can take a stab at this but I'll try. Hypotheticals can be
tricky. One never really knows what one would do until in that situation.
First of all, my daughter will be 17 in March. She goes to school but of
course is raised now in the same loving surroundings as the other
unschoolers. It wasn't always that way and because of it, had some problems
to deal with. She's now at a point in her life, where she is getting
comfortable with who she is and what she has the power to do and respect and
trust from us in regard to those choices. She is making good choices in her
life and at the young age of 16, has for the most part been through all
kinds of crap some people don't deal with until way later if at all. As sad
as I am about what she has had to go through, I'm glad it's "out of her
system" so to speak. She is the kind of kid that had to learn for herself.
Someone telling her doesn't get it, even the bad choices have to be made by
her and she has to suffer for her own consequences. She'll come right out
and tell you this. She has to learn on her own and as heartbreaking as it
was sometimes to watch, she is a better person for it. Would I be happier if
she would have just taken my advice? Definitely!! But she is in a good place
because of what she went through. I can understand that. I messed up an
awful lot as a teen and way into my adult life. I don't regret it because I
wouldn't be who I am today. I was a hard head like her. And sometimes the
apple doesn't fall far from the tree! <BG>
My daughter knows how we feel about alcohol, pot, cigarettes and other
drugs. She's been educated from early on about them all. She started to
smoke (cigarettes) awhile back and we spoke to her about it. I can't force
her to stop. She says she doesn't do it anymore and that's okay with me. I
trust that she's telling me the truth. We all know that she has and probably
still does smoke a bit of pot from time to time. My husband and I have no
big problem with that. She does know the repercussions of getting caught,
that it's illegal just like drinking for her would be. We also know she's
done that too. I can honestly say that since we've eased way up on her, this
partying behavior has calmed way down. She looks at her year younger cousin
who does rolls (popping a few piils at once like ex) and sees someone just
down right stupid. That kind of stuff scares her and I believe she's never
tried it. I can deal with some drinking and smoking as long as she's
somewhere safe and not driving around with a group doing it in the car.
We've been honest with her and she knows it. Telling the kids stuff to scare
them and never thinking they will for the most part want to try something is
silly. It doesn't work. I know a few people who have said they never tried
any kind of partying but not many. And the not my kid attitude will get you
nowhere. My daughter is also on birth control. It helps regulate what were
painful periods and she has a boyfriend and they have sex. They use condoms
but we all don't want to take the chance of a pregnancy too. It's up front
and simple for us. Be responsible and make wise choices. Of course having
her a virgin would be nice but not practical for her. So we deal with it.
It's not the end of the world if she's comfortable talking about it with us
and again making wise choices. I see that she is.
IF she were to get into drugs and I knew and found out it wasn't a one time
thing, I would step in. Not sure how but I would. I would find her some kind
of counseling or help. I have obviously stepped in before when it was an
issue of safety.
She once had boyfriend who we forbid her to see. Now normally I would say
that doesn't work and I was also the one that allowed her to see him again
after once before banishing him from her life. I thought maybe he grew up
and made some changes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong and
my daughter's life was in jeopardy because of it. She carried on something
fierce. We got her counseling. She continued to talk to him from the school
phone. It finally got the to the point where she started to see from afar
how he was. The young love started to fade and she is very much over him now
and thankful to us for what we did. If it was a matter of me just not liking
him, I would never have made that choice. It was life threatening to her and
I also believe us. So if the drug thing was the same situation, I would
definitely step in.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Broadband? Dial-up? Get reliable MSN Internet Access.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/default.asp
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Myranda
From: Mary Bianco
Not sure I can take a stab at this but I'll try. Hypotheticals can be
tricky. One never really knows what one would do until in that situation.
First of all, my daughter will be 17 in March. She goes to school but of
course is raised now in the same loving surroundings as the other
unschoolers. It wasn't always that way and because of it, had some problems
to deal with. She's now at a point in her life, where she is getting
comfortable with who she is and what she has the power to do and respect and
trust from us in regard to those choices. She is making good choices in her
life and at the young age of 16, has for the most part been through all
kinds of crap some people don't deal with until way later if at all. As sad
as I am about what she has had to go through, I'm glad it's "out of her
system" so to speak. She is the kind of kid that had to learn for herself.
Someone telling her doesn't get it, even the bad choices have to be made by
her and she has to suffer for her own consequences. She'll come right out
and tell you this. She has to learn on her own and as heartbreaking as it
was sometimes to watch, she is a better person for it. Would I be happier if
she would have just taken my advice? Definitely!! But she is in a good place
because of what she went through. I can understand that. I messed up an
awful lot as a teen and way into my adult life. I don't regret it because I
wouldn't be who I am today. I was a hard head like her. And sometimes the
apple doesn't fall far from the tree! <BG>
My daughter knows how we feel about alcohol, pot, cigarettes and other
drugs. She's been educated from early on about them all. She started to
smoke (cigarettes) awhile back and we spoke to her about it. I can't force
her to stop. She says she doesn't do it anymore and that's okay with me. I
trust that she's telling me the truth. We all know that she has and probably
still does smoke a bit of pot from time to time. My husband and I have no
big problem with that. She does know the repercussions of getting caught,
that it's illegal just like drinking for her would be. We also know she's
done that too. I can honestly say that since we've eased way up on her, this
partying behavior has calmed way down. She looks at her year younger cousin
who does rolls (popping a few piils at once like ex) and sees someone just
down right stupid. That kind of stuff scares her and I believe she's never
tried it. I can deal with some drinking and smoking as long as she's
somewhere safe and not driving around with a group doing it in the car.
We've been honest with her and she knows it. Telling the kids stuff to scare
them and never thinking they will for the most part want to try something is
silly. It doesn't work. I know a few people who have said they never tried
any kind of partying but not many. And the not my kid attitude will get you
nowhere. My daughter is also on birth control. It helps regulate what were
painful periods and she has a boyfriend and they have sex. They use condoms
but we all don't want to take the chance of a pregnancy too. It's up front
and simple for us. Be responsible and make wise choices. Of course having
her a virgin would be nice but not practical for her. So we deal with it.
It's not the end of the world if she's comfortable talking about it with us
and again making wise choices. I see that she is.
IF she were to get into drugs and I knew and found out it wasn't a one time
thing, I would step in. Not sure how but I would. I would find her some kind
of counseling or help. I have obviously stepped in before when it was an
issue of safety.
She once had boyfriend who we forbid her to see. Now normally I would say
that doesn't work and I was also the one that allowed her to see him again
after once before banishing him from her life. I thought maybe he grew up
and made some changes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong and
my daughter's life was in jeopardy because of it. She carried on something
fierce. We got her counseling. She continued to talk to him from the school
phone. It finally got the to the point where she started to see from afar
how he was. The young love started to fade and she is very much over him now
and thankful to us for what we did. If it was a matter of me just not liking
him, I would never have made that choice. It was life threatening to her and
I also believe us. So if the drug thing was the same situation, I would
definitely step in.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Broadband? Dial-up? Get reliable MSN Internet Access.
http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/default.asp
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]