Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] food limits, was adult time
Alan & Brenda Leonard
> Limitations on his food intake are not aOf course. This is a big issue, and you are absolutely right to limit it.
> parent control issue, they are a life saving issue. Peanut allergies can
> kill.
But I think the point for most of us is not the big stuff, it's the little
stuff.
This has been a tough issue for me. I've been saying yes lately to food
requests, and feel like less of a hypocrite. Why say no to Tim when I know
that I can go in the kitchen and eat anything I want?
Myranda, while you will find many people disagree with your beliefs about
food and allergens and what's safe, healthy, etc., you are entitled to
believe those things. If Kraft Macaroni & Cheese strikes you as
frighteningly chemical and potentially lifethreating, fine, don't buy it!
But (you knew there would be a "but", didn't you?!), having stocked your
house with foods that fit your personal "safe foods" profile, do you allow
your children to make their own choices? Even if they're not the choices
you would make for them? To me, that would be the biggest issue.
Do you set limits on how many organically grown dried apricots they can
have? Can they eat the "wrong" foods for breakfast? Is cereal at dinner
instead of spinach and brown rice casserole okay? (This is one that always
sends Tim to the kitchen in quest of a peanut butter sandwich!)
My mother never let us have snacks before dinner because it would ruin our
appetites. She also made us eat everything on our plate in order to have
dessert. It's true; when Tim has a pre-dinner snack, he doesn't finish
everything. So? I still offer dessert. I think he ate dessert once last
week. I tend to eat it every day. Who has the problem here?
This isn't about big decisions; it's about the little stuff. Children need
the freedom to make the little, daily choices, and as a result make the
occasional error in judgement. That's the point.
brenda
Myranda
Myranda, while you will find many people disagree with your beliefs about
food and allergens and what's safe, healthy, etc., you are entitled to
believe those things. If Kraft Macaroni & Cheese strikes you as
frighteningly chemical and potentially lifethreating, fine, don't buy it!
But (you knew there would be a "but", didn't you?!), having stocked your
house with foods that fit your personal "safe foods" profile, do you allow
your children to make their own choices? Even if they're not the choices
you would make for them? To me, that would be the biggest issue.
** Hey, I love buts! LOL Yes, they can pick anything they want to eat, whenever they want to eat it, out of what's in my kitchen! However, I do sometimes say "no" to cooking two completely different meals for lunch. In that case, we usually compromise with one or two items each person wants, and they can finish up with whatever else is there if they're still hungry.
Do you set limits on how many organically grown dried apricots they can
have?
** Only to say "please see if your brother wants some before you eat them all".
Can they eat the "wrong" foods for breakfast?
** There's a wrong food for breakfast? <g> Pizza is my absolute favorite breakfast food! Yes, they can eat whatever for whatever meal they want. We all like to have "breakfast" for supper, especially pancakes! Yum, I'm getting hungry now! Oh, and desert before a meal is pretty normal here too.
Is cereal at dinner
instead of spinach and brown rice casserole okay? (This is one that always
sends Tim to the kitchen in quest of a peanut butter sandwich!)
** Yes! They're free to not eat whatever they don't want of what I fix, but usually since they got to pick at least one, if not all, of what I fixed, I don't have that problem. I'm much more likely to be the one hunting something else to eat!
My mother never let us have snacks before dinner because it would ruin our
appetites. She also made us eat everything on our plate in order to have
dessert. It's true; when Tim has a pre-dinner snack, he doesn't finish
everything. So? I still offer dessert. I think he ate dessert once last
week. I tend to eat it every day. Who has the problem here?
** I don't limit the number or time of snacks, I will tell them that lunch will be ready in 15 minutes or whatever so they'll know that food is coming, and choose more wisely whether or not or how much to snack, but it's still their choice.
This isn't about big decisions; it's about the little stuff. Children need
the freedom to make the little, daily choices, and as a result make the
occasional error in judgement. That's the point.
** That's what I thought, too! I don't see how buying one type of chicken or another, or one type of candy or making candy really matters in the whole scope of things, as long as the things are available to be had.
brenda
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food and allergens and what's safe, healthy, etc., you are entitled to
believe those things. If Kraft Macaroni & Cheese strikes you as
frighteningly chemical and potentially lifethreating, fine, don't buy it!
But (you knew there would be a "but", didn't you?!), having stocked your
house with foods that fit your personal "safe foods" profile, do you allow
your children to make their own choices? Even if they're not the choices
you would make for them? To me, that would be the biggest issue.
** Hey, I love buts! LOL Yes, they can pick anything they want to eat, whenever they want to eat it, out of what's in my kitchen! However, I do sometimes say "no" to cooking two completely different meals for lunch. In that case, we usually compromise with one or two items each person wants, and they can finish up with whatever else is there if they're still hungry.
Do you set limits on how many organically grown dried apricots they can
have?
** Only to say "please see if your brother wants some before you eat them all".
Can they eat the "wrong" foods for breakfast?
** There's a wrong food for breakfast? <g> Pizza is my absolute favorite breakfast food! Yes, they can eat whatever for whatever meal they want. We all like to have "breakfast" for supper, especially pancakes! Yum, I'm getting hungry now! Oh, and desert before a meal is pretty normal here too.
Is cereal at dinner
instead of spinach and brown rice casserole okay? (This is one that always
sends Tim to the kitchen in quest of a peanut butter sandwich!)
** Yes! They're free to not eat whatever they don't want of what I fix, but usually since they got to pick at least one, if not all, of what I fixed, I don't have that problem. I'm much more likely to be the one hunting something else to eat!
My mother never let us have snacks before dinner because it would ruin our
appetites. She also made us eat everything on our plate in order to have
dessert. It's true; when Tim has a pre-dinner snack, he doesn't finish
everything. So? I still offer dessert. I think he ate dessert once last
week. I tend to eat it every day. Who has the problem here?
** I don't limit the number or time of snacks, I will tell them that lunch will be ready in 15 minutes or whatever so they'll know that food is coming, and choose more wisely whether or not or how much to snack, but it's still their choice.
This isn't about big decisions; it's about the little stuff. Children need
the freedom to make the little, daily choices, and as a result make the
occasional error in judgement. That's the point.
** That's what I thought, too! I don't see how buying one type of chicken or another, or one type of candy or making candy really matters in the whole scope of things, as long as the things are available to be had.
brenda
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
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In a message dated 10/15/02 5:07:51 PM, abtleo@... writes:
<< This has been a tough issue for me. I've been saying yes lately to food
requests, and feel like less of a hypocrite. Why say no to Tim when I know
that I can go in the kitchen and eat anything I want?>>
This is like the heartbreaking question children ask sometimes:
"Why do you get to sleep with somebody else but I have to sleep alone?"
Traditional childrearing in this culture IS hypocritical, and anti-child.
Sandra
<< This has been a tough issue for me. I've been saying yes lately to food
requests, and feel like less of a hypocrite. Why say no to Tim when I know
that I can go in the kitchen and eat anything I want?>>
This is like the heartbreaking question children ask sometimes:
"Why do you get to sleep with somebody else but I have to sleep alone?"
Traditional childrearing in this culture IS hypocritical, and anti-child.
Sandra