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I sent this but I never saw it come out on my e-mail from the list...

I believe that it is so much better to treat children with respect and
care, to take the time to talk out a situation with them rather than just
using quick penalties/punishments, etc. However one of the things that I
find hardest is that I don't know where to see that kind of
parenting/treatment of children modeled. I believe in it but I feel like
it's so hard to live up to my ideals because I wasn't raised that way and I
don't see it in the people I know. I know there are people out there, like
many of you on this list, and that's why this group is so much help to me but
I wish that I could really see it in practice.
I find myself instead looking to a few fictional characters, like the mom
(Marmy) in Little Women. My kids know that she's one of my ideals and so
when I lose my patience and yell or whatever, they joke with me, "That wasn't
very Marmy-like." Anyway, just wondered if you struggle with this also and
what any of you may have done to find role models or learn new ways of being
and have them stick.

Lucy in Calif.