I need lots etc..
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/9/02 4:06:37 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< And, frankly, none of us are being paid a salary here. We have our own
opinions. If I just disagree that calling a child specifically "lazy" is an
okay thing, I am under no obligation to say it is >>
I agree with Pam, except I didn't notice where Myranda said she ever called
her son lazy, with the exception of her post, which she apologized for
sounding negative in.
I do agree that it could come through to the child if we view them as "lazy"
or any other number of labels.
But, I didn't read where she thought calling him lazy was acceptable AND she
mentioned that they don't call him lazybones very often, just a term used in
the family.
We have terms like that.
Dh and I call each other "goober".
We get some strange looks, but in our family it's equal to sweetie or honey.
"Hey goober, will you hand me that book?"
And we aren't really trying to call each other peanuts!! lol
I think that names and labels can be very harmful, and the child can smile
and laugh themselves right through some hurtful things. Happened to me. My
Dad brought home a button once that said "second best, that's for me" because
they always felt I was a bit "lazy" about schoolwork and such.
It hurt a little. Not too bad, because I was defiant and wore it anyway. But
I then knew that my Dad saw me that way, and it bothered me, even though it
was just a joke.
So it's good to examine the "fun" things in our own families and make sure we
aren't acting from only our point of view, but thinking of how the other
person may be taking it.
Jared got really upset over his nickname "Science".
Yep, they nicknamed him science guy because he was smart and curious about
scientific type stuff. It bugged the heck out of him. I had to get very mean
with dh and bil over it because they thought it was SO funny. And they
couldn't understand why it bugged him because they were paying a compliment
in their minds.
But he hated it, and that's really all that mattered.
They finally let up when I got mad.
And I tried to help Jared find ways to stand up for himself. Men can be such
dunderheads sometimes (not the ones here...just in our family, lol)
And sometimes Trevor will tell me I'm being a doofbean when I am being
forgetfull. Said with fun and lightheartedness it doesn't bother anyone that
I can tell.
And they aren't afraid to tell me if it does.
So doofbean or goober are ok with everyone, but don't dare say "science"!!!
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< And, frankly, none of us are being paid a salary here. We have our own
opinions. If I just disagree that calling a child specifically "lazy" is an
okay thing, I am under no obligation to say it is >>
I agree with Pam, except I didn't notice where Myranda said she ever called
her son lazy, with the exception of her post, which she apologized for
sounding negative in.
I do agree that it could come through to the child if we view them as "lazy"
or any other number of labels.
But, I didn't read where she thought calling him lazy was acceptable AND she
mentioned that they don't call him lazybones very often, just a term used in
the family.
We have terms like that.
Dh and I call each other "goober".
We get some strange looks, but in our family it's equal to sweetie or honey.
"Hey goober, will you hand me that book?"
And we aren't really trying to call each other peanuts!! lol
I think that names and labels can be very harmful, and the child can smile
and laugh themselves right through some hurtful things. Happened to me. My
Dad brought home a button once that said "second best, that's for me" because
they always felt I was a bit "lazy" about schoolwork and such.
It hurt a little. Not too bad, because I was defiant and wore it anyway. But
I then knew that my Dad saw me that way, and it bothered me, even though it
was just a joke.
So it's good to examine the "fun" things in our own families and make sure we
aren't acting from only our point of view, but thinking of how the other
person may be taking it.
Jared got really upset over his nickname "Science".
Yep, they nicknamed him science guy because he was smart and curious about
scientific type stuff. It bugged the heck out of him. I had to get very mean
with dh and bil over it because they thought it was SO funny. And they
couldn't understand why it bugged him because they were paying a compliment
in their minds.
But he hated it, and that's really all that mattered.
They finally let up when I got mad.
And I tried to help Jared find ways to stand up for himself. Men can be such
dunderheads sometimes (not the ones here...just in our family, lol)
And sometimes Trevor will tell me I'm being a doofbean when I am being
forgetfull. Said with fun and lightheartedness it doesn't bother anyone that
I can tell.
And they aren't afraid to tell me if it does.
So doofbean or goober are ok with everyone, but don't dare say "science"!!!
Ren