Pam Hartley

> Lazybones and Sillygoose are cute
> little names that convey caring and family'ness' to me. I see no
> labeling and, most positively, no abuse.

I suppose if one is in the habit of randomly calling all of the loved ones
in her life, lazybones, sillygoose, muffinhead, etc. (from the kids to her
husband to the dog, mixing up the names as a general thing -- sort of like I
call all rabbits in the barn "fuzzy", but if I call one over and over again
"snakebait", well, the rabbit doesn't mind, but my husband and kids know
that one's destiny <g>) It's different than singling one child out as "lazy"
and "lazybones".

And, frankly, none of us are being paid a salary here. We have our own
opinions. If I just disagree that calling a child specifically "lazy" is an
okay thing, I am under no obligation to say it is. Nobody is following the
poster home or forcing her at knifepoint to continue the conversation. She
can opt out at any time it becomes too uncomfortable. In fact, knowing when
to stop arguing is a useful life skill, and one that believe it or not I
even practice on occasion. :)

If we are the brick wall, it's kind of silly for her to keep hitting her
head against it unless she's enjoying it or getting something from it (which
she may be, and that's fine, too).

>
> I joined the list in hopes of finding open minded parents.
> I have seen quite of bit of heavy handed criticism that is
> disappointing to me... so many here seem to think the worst of each
> other and pounce on mere 'semantics'.
> It seems counter productive.

I don't find unschoolers more or less likely to be open-minded than any
other group. I am, in fact, downright closed-minded on some things. :)

And the reason people pounce on "semantics" (i.e, words) is that words are
all we have here. Clear communication is critical for people to understand
what you are trying to convey in a written forum. Fuzzy logic, imprecise
language, these do not help us understand each other's thoughts in this
medium.

Pam

Deborah Lewis

> My 5 yr old son, however, still does not
> even recgonize his letters. He doesn't know how to tie shoes, he
> doesn't know how to spread peanut butter on a piece of bread. He is
> lazy - does not want to try anything new that might take effort. His
> favorite sayings are "it's too hard" and "I can't".

This is from the first post about "lazy".
This is harsh.
The later explanations that lazy is an affectionate term came after
responses to this first post.

I am not sitting here thinking this mother doesn't love her son. I'm
just thinking there are better ways to think about and talk about our
children that will not harm them.

And even if "lazy" in this family is all cutesy and nice it isn't to the
rest of the world, where her little boy will someday be around people who
give him a different idea about "lazy" and where he will be developing
ideas about himself as a person and his worth on this planet.

Deb L

Deborah Lewis

Pam Hartley, it is so nice to read your posts!
I found the " ...following the poster home or forcing her at
knifepoint..." comment rather *interesting* in light of your previously
expressed fondness for biting and brass knuckles... ( said with raised
eyebrows ) <G>

Love your posts, Pam. No kidding!

Deb L

Pam Hartley

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Deborah Lewis <ddzimlew@j...>
wrote:
> Pam Hartley, it is so nice to read your posts!
> I found the " ...following the poster home or forcing her at
> knifepoint..." comment rather *interesting* in light of your
previously
> expressed fondness for biting and brass knuckles... ( said with
raised
> eyebrows ) <G>
>
> Love your posts, Pam. No kidding!
>
> Deb L


The only truly irritating thing about Deb is her spectacular
memory. <gg>

And, thanks!

Pam, who is beginning to fear she's got a Reputation ;)

Deborah Lewis

***Pam, who is beginning to fear she's got a Reputation ;)***

Or a stalker. <eg>

Deb L

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/9/02 5:08:55 PM Central Daylight Time,
pamhartley@... writes:


> Pam, who is beginning to fear she's got a Reputation ;)
>

And I had to read this more than once, cause I thought you wrote that you
were beginning to fear that you've got a Republican! ;o)
~Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pam Hartley

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Dnowens@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 10/9/02 5:08:55 PM Central Daylight Time,
> pamhartley@m... writes:
>
>
> > Pam, who is beginning to fear she's got a Reputation ;)
> >
>
> And I had to read this more than once, cause I thought you
wrote that you
> were beginning to fear that you've got a Republican! ;o)
> ~Nancy


Oh, I *definitely* have one of those. His name is Wally <g> and
we love him anyway. (He's actually more a libertarian, but don't
tell him.)

Pam