Tia Leschke

>
> Yes, I feel the same way about the 2 boys that I have (who are 9 & 11). I
am
> SO glad to have them and it's such a wonderful experience watching them
grow
> up and sharing life with them. BUT, I also know that I would have a hard
> time having another one or two or three (yikes!) children.

My daughter is having a tough time right now, meeting the needs of a 2 month
old, a 2 year old, and an almost 8. It seems that the oldest is having the
hardest time adjusting to the new one because her needs often have to go to
the bottom of the list.
Tia

Myranda

You know, I felt the same as both of you for a long time. I had my two boys that were only 17 mths apart, and they were at the age where we could do a lot of things together. The diaper stage was over, they were both potty trained, no more naps or early bedtimes, used good enough manners we could go anywhere and do anything. Then came our little surprise baby. I have to say, it's been easier than I ever dreamed! The boys are closer to each other, and more loving to me. They have matured quite a bit, and I have not had either of them upset or put out by me having to take time with the baby. They want to do anything and everything they can with and for her. They spend more time in the living room with us instead of playing in their rooms, they watch less TV and read books to her instead. They've quit asking for all the neatest and newest toys they see and concentrate on finding household things to turn into toys for her. They offer to share their food with her, when before they'd have a fit at the thought of sharing food with anyone. And one of the best things - if she's fussy or unhappy for me, they can cheer her up and have her giggling in a heartbeat! Yeah, I'm definitely sleep-deprived, I have to wash a load of diapers twice a week, and we have to be more careful where we put things like spare change and glasses full of drink - but nothing can replace those wide-open-mouth slobbery baby kisses. Every day I thank God because I am soooo glad of our little "mistake", or I may never have gotten the courage up to have another.
Myranda

> For the longest time I thought that I wanted 3 children. Now that I
> have two, I am strongly believing more and more every day that 2 is my
> personal limit. I love my children with everything in me. I spend
> practically 24 hours a day with them and I treasure every second (even
> those hard ones). However, I am realistic. My children wear me out.
> My children cost A LOT! There are times with two when I am home alone
> that I cannot physically meet both of their needs. How would I do this
> with more than what I have?

Yes, I feel the same way about the 2 boys that I have (who are 9 & 11). I am
SO glad to have them and it's such a wonderful experience watching them grow
up and sharing life with them. BUT, I also know that I would have a hard
time having another one or two or three (yikes!) children. I would become a
physical wreck, I think. I would end up really resenting being a mom and I
think it would take all the joy out of motherhood for me, personally. Having
babies was an awesome experience but NOBODY could talk me into having more.
Sleepless nights, feeling like a zombie, more mouths to feed, diapers,
etc... no thanks, I'm done. I am thankful that those days are behind me.

Does that make me a bad, selfish mother? I don't know but I just really love
and appreciate the life we have right now. Our "little" family unit is just
perfect, IMO. OTOH, if I were to get pregnant by accident at this point, I
*would* embrace my new baby - I just wouldn't do it if I had a choice.


>> I love seeing happy and healthy large families. Those that are
> fulfilled seem SO fulfilled. I envy them. I look at them and see
> children that aren't as demanding as mine and I think that perhaps that
> is HOW their parents were capable of being good parents to the number of
> children in their family.

Me too. When I see a mom with a large family, I truly respect and honor her
for having whatever it takes (that I don't have) to raise those kids. More
power to her and her husband. It's a wonderful thing, I'm sure. Just not for
me.

Karin






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Myranda

Oh, Karin, she is wonderful!!! Yes, I'm already amazed at the difference in the genders! If you really want to have second thoughts, try what I did early into my pregnancy: I had a friend's baby over every now and then. When the boys were delighted instead of jealous, it made me feel a lot better! If your boys are jealous or resentful of the time you have to spend with the little one, then you'll know that adding another right now probably wouldn't be a good idea! :-)
Myranda

Myranda, your little daughter sounds wonderful! It sounds like she is the
missing piece to the puzzle of your family. :-) And you get to experience
raising a girl after the 2 boys - something I often wonder about myself
(having 2 boys). But, as tempting as it may be to have another one, I still
think two's our limit when there's a choice involved. You definitely got me
having second thoughts, though. :o)

Karin



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karin

Myranda, your little daughter sounds wonderful! It sounds like she is the
missing piece to the puzzle of your family. :-) And you get to experience
raising a girl after the 2 boys - something I often wonder about myself
(having 2 boys). But, as tempting as it may be to have another one, I still
think two's our limit when there's a choice involved. You definitely got me
having second thoughts, though. :o)

Karin




> You know, I felt the same as both of you for a long time. I had my two
boys that were only 17 mths apart, and they were at the age where we could
do a lot of things together. The diaper stage was over, they were both potty
trained, no more naps or early bedtimes, used good enough manners we could
go anywhere and do anything. Then came our little surprise baby. I have to
say, it's been easier than I ever dreamed! The boys are closer to each
other, and more loving to me. They have matured quite a bit, and I have not
had either of them upset or put out by me having to take time with the baby.
They want to do anything and everything they can with and for her. They
spend more time in the living room with us instead of playing in their
rooms, they watch less TV and read books to her instead. They've quit asking
for all the neatest and newest toys they see and concentrate on finding
household things to turn into toys for her. They offer to share their food
with her, when before they'd have a fit at the thought of sharing food with
anyone. And one of the best things - if she's fussy or unhappy for me, they
can cheer her up and have her giggling in a heartbeat! Yeah, I'm definitely
sleep-deprived, I have to wash a load of diapers twice a week, and we have
to be more careful where we put things like spare change and glasses full of
drink - but nothing can replace those wide-open-mouth slobbery baby kisses.
Every day I thank God because I am soooo glad of our little "mistake", or I
may never have gotten the courage up to have another.
> Myranda

Stephanie Elms

> Myranda, your little daughter sounds wonderful! It sounds
> like she is the
> missing piece to the puzzle of your family. :-) And you get
> to experience
> raising a girl after the 2 boys - something I often wonder
> about myself
> (having 2 boys). But, as tempting as it may be to have
> another one, I still
> think two's our limit when there's a choice involved. You
> definitely got me
> having second thoughts, though. :o)

I wouldn't know what to do with a girl LOL! Actually, if we could
guarantee that we would have a girl, dh would go for it in a second.
I do feel sorry for my MIL (who is a wonderful mil)...she had two
boys, really wanted a little girl. Was hoping for a granddaughter,
but doesn't look like it will happen. She is fine with that, but it
would have been nice for her....

Stephanie E.