Stephanie Elms

Finally wore down dh, he basically just threw up his hands and said that if
the boys wind up on Jerry Springer because they are 300 lbs and suing McDs, it
will be my fault. Wish that I had more of his support, or at least him being
open to this working, but I guess that time will have to tell. I just hate
getting my way about things this way. I wish that he could be more open minded
about it and at least concede that it might work! It could be worse I guess.
I really do feel sorry for him sometimes...I am basically asking him to re-think
everything that he knows about parenting. Not to mention the fact that dh really
thrives on control. I really do think that he will come around (he has come around
on all my other wacko ideas...family bed, nursing a 2.5 yo etc). Any one have a
previously reluctant dh who has "seen the light" care to share their story? I
would love to hear it!

And I was wondering if anyone has stories of their extremely picky kid who was able
to strike a balance when given unlimited access to all foods? Jason (5.5 yo) has always
been picky. The only restrictions I have had on food have been to limit junk food.
I never forced him to eat things he does not like. He usually eats something different
from the rest of us (something easy to prepare, like pb&j). He has a very limited
diet, no veggies, pretty good assortment of fruits though. My parents always made me
eat small portions of veggies. And when they found out that I was swallowing my peas
whole (can't stand the taste or the consistency) I was only allowed to take a drink
after I chewed 10 times (so then I started piling the peas on the center of my tongue
and pretending to chew them by chewing around my tongue). I never ate veggies in
college and did not start trying them again until I had Jason. I have now found
out that I love broccoli, squash, cucumbers and several other veggies. But I still
hate peas and carrots (which I was made to eat). So needless to say, I did not want
Jason to have to wait until he had kids to discover that there were some veggies that
he likes! (Of course, dh says that he was forced to eat veggies and he still ate
them when he got older). Anyways, just a bit of background....oh one good thing is that he
is relatively good at trying things (just never likes them!)

So anyone who would like to reassure me as we head on down this path, I would love to
hear! I have read the food discussions at unschooling.com and this does make sense to me.
I just hope that I can survive the binging period...especially with my 2 yo!

Stephanie E.

Todd M.

At 10:40 PM 10/5/02 -0400, Stephanie Elms wrote:

>So anyone who would like to reassure me as we head on down this path, I
>would love to
>hear!
==
Well, I think you are taking the right path. I don't have any personal
experience with someone not "getting it" and then finally "seeing the
light", sorry. But I still think you did good! <hugs>

Todd
====================================
I was going to join the Paranoids anonymous group,
but they won't tell me where they're meeting.

Elissa Cleaveland

I have (had) two very picky eaters. Once we allowed
food choice, they became much more willing to try new
things and discovered some likes. either that or I was
more easily able to see the wise food choices they
were making rather than focusing on their "junk"
consumption.
Elissa Jill
--- Stephanie Elms <stephanie.elms@...>
wrote:
> Finally wore down dh, he basically just threw up his
> hands and said that if
> the boys wind up on Jerry Springer because they are
> 300 lbs and suing McDs, it
> will be my fault. Wish that I had more of his
> support, or at least him being
> open to this working, but I guess that time will
> have to tell. I just hate
> getting my way about things this way. I wish that he
> could be more open minded
> about it and at least concede that it might work! It
> could be worse I guess.
> I really do feel sorry for him sometimes...I am
> basically asking him to re-think
> everything that he knows about parenting. Not to
> mention the fact that dh really
> thrives on control. I really do think that he will
> come around (he has come around
> on all my other wacko ideas...family bed, nursing a
> 2.5 yo etc). Any one have a
> previously reluctant dh who has "seen the light"
> care to share their story? I
> would love to hear it!
>
> And I was wondering if anyone has stories of their
> extremely picky kid who was able
> to strike a balance when given unlimited access to
> all foods? Jason (5.5 yo) has always
> been picky. The only restrictions I have had on food
> have been to limit junk food.
> I never forced him to eat things he does not like.
> He usually eats something different
> from the rest of us (something easy to prepare, like
> pb&j). He has a very limited
> diet, no veggies, pretty good assortment of fruits
> though. My parents always made me
> eat small portions of veggies. And when they found
> out that I was swallowing my peas
> whole (can't stand the taste or the consistency) I
> was only allowed to take a drink
> after I chewed 10 times (so then I started piling
> the peas on the center of my tongue
> and pretending to chew them by chewing around my
> tongue). I never ate veggies in
> college and did not start trying them again until I
> had Jason. I have now found
> out that I love broccoli, squash, cucumbers and
> several other veggies. But I still
> hate peas and carrots (which I was made to eat). So
> needless to say, I did not want
> Jason to have to wait until he had kids to discover
> that there were some veggies that
> he likes! (Of course, dh says that he was forced to
> eat veggies and he still ate
> them when he got older). Anyways, just a bit of
> background....oh one good thing is that he
> is relatively good at trying things (just never
> likes them!)
>
> So anyone who would like to reassure me as we head
> on down this path, I would love to
> hear! I have read the food discussions at
> unschooling.com and this does make sense to me.
> I just hope that I can survive the binging
> period...especially with my 2 yo!
>
> Stephanie E.
>
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> following link or address an email to:
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Myranda

Hi Stephanie!
My DH is the same way. Whenever I introduce a new "weird" idea to him, at first he is very against it, then after I show him e-mails, websites, books, etc to back it up, he eventually just says "whatever, we'll try it for a little bit" then he always ends up admitting I was right, it was a good idea, and it is working! LOL I was just telling him yesterday that it would be so much simpler if he'd just agree to begin with! He was this way with unschooling, not taking the doctor's word about everything regarding the kids, not getting the two youngest all their vacs, having a midwife birth, breastfeeding (then breastfeeding til 1 and now he's agreed to age 3! LOL), and oh so many other things. I'm trying to work on him for an unassisted homebirth next time, but that's the one thing he's stood firm about for 6 years now, so I may not be able to get that one.
Good luck!!!!
Myranda
Finally wore down dh, he basically just threw up his hands and said that if
the boys wind up on Jerry Springer because they are 300 lbs and suing McDs, it
will be my fault. Wish that I had more of his support, or at least him being
open to this working, but I guess that time will have to tell. I just hate
getting my way about things this way. I wish that he could be more open minded
about it and at least concede that it might work! It could be worse I guess.
I really do feel sorry for him sometimes...I am basically asking him to re-think
everything that he knows about parenting. Not to mention the fact that dh really
thrives on control. I really do think that he will come around (he has come around
on all my other wacko ideas...family bed, nursing a 2.5 yo etc). Any one have a
previously reluctant dh who has "seen the light" care to share their story? I
would love to hear it!

And I was wondering if anyone has stories of their extremely picky kid who was able
to strike a balance when given unlimited access to all foods? Jason (5.5 yo) has always
been picky. The only restrictions I have had on food have been to limit junk food.
I never forced him to eat things he does not like. He usually eats something different
from the rest of us (something easy to prepare, like pb&j). He has a very limited
diet, no veggies, pretty good assortment of fruits though. My parents always made me
eat small portions of veggies. And when they found out that I was swallowing my peas
whole (can't stand the taste or the consistency) I was only allowed to take a drink
after I chewed 10 times (so then I started piling the peas on the center of my tongue
and pretending to chew them by chewing around my tongue). I never ate veggies in
college and did not start trying them again until I had Jason. I have now found
out that I love broccoli, squash, cucumbers and several other veggies. But I still
hate peas and carrots (which I was made to eat). So needless to say, I did not want
Jason to have to wait until he had kids to discover that there were some veggies that
he likes! (Of course, dh says that he was forced to eat veggies and he still ate
them when he got older). Anyways, just a bit of background....oh one good thing is that he
is relatively good at trying things (just never likes them!)

So anyone who would like to reassure me as we head on down this path, I would love to
hear! I have read the food discussions at unschooling.com and this does make sense to me.
I just hope that I can survive the binging period...especially with my 2 yo!

Stephanie E.

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

I'm trying to work on him for an unassisted homebirth next time, but that's
the one thing he's stood firm about for 6 years now, so I may not be able to
get that one.

I was at the unassisted homebirth of my third grandbaby in August. It was
pretty special. I really couldn't say anything about their plans, since we
had birthed her unassisted, not out of choice, but because there were no
midwives available then.

There are a couple of unassisted birth lists. I could find out about them
if you wanted.
Tia

Mary Bianco

>From: "Stephanie Elms" <stephanie.elms@...>

<<Finally wore down dh, he basically just threw up his hands and said that
if the boys wind up on Jerry Springer because they are 300 lbs and suing
McDs, it will be my fault. Wish that I had more of his support, or at least
him being open to this working, but I guess that time will have to tell.

And I was wondering if anyone has stories of their extremely picky kid who
was able
to strike a balance when given unlimited access to all foods>>



Well Stephanie, congratulations on your victory, no matter how bittersweet
it may be! Just stick to it and I do think that eventually when all is well
and your husband sees that, he will have a change of heart. Just don't give
him a "I told you so," they hate that!!!! (Sorry Todd!)

I do know of other husbands of friends who have gone through the same thing.
Not just with food stuff but with the whole unschooling way. When people see
it working, they can't help but come to a better understanding.

As far as the picky kid thing, I have two here. Well actually more like one
now. My first daughter was raised totally different from the other 3, school
and all the attachments. BUT, I was always rather unschooly in most of my
thoughts. I never made her eat stuff she didn't want to or make her clean
her plate or eat what and when I 'thought' she should eat. She was an
excellent eater until she turned 2 years old. She totally cut out all meat
from her diet on her own. No red meat or chicken or fish. Cut out most
vegetables and fruits also. Loved the starches, pasta and potatoes and
breads. Ate her fair share of desserts but nothing major. She would eat
apples and corn and carrots, then it was all pasta and cereal and such. When
she started school, it was a big deal to find something she would take to
eat. I actually packed a thermos with garlic pasta in it for her. (the
teachers loved that one!)

Cut to the chase, she's almost 17 now and you would never know she had been
such a picky kid. First of all, even though she still goes to school, she
gets sick less than we do. She's very healthy and now eats chicken and
steak, carrots, green beans, corn, grapes, etc. Point is she added to her
diet considerably on her own without any prompting from us. She can go out
anywhere and eat without anyone knowing she could never ever do that before.

Added note here, our almost 8 year old son is doing the same thing. Started
out eating everything in sight and gradually started to cut things out of
his diet. He lives on PB&J, pizza, hot dogs, cheese, pasta, cereal, corn,
tortilla chips and sour cream!! He likes fast food chicken but not from
home. Go figure!! He's thin but not skinny and has more energy than all of
us put together. Hardly ever sick and when he is, it's no big deal. I
actually had blood taken from him when he was 4 as I started to worry so
much about how he ate. After the Dr. said he was fine, my husband brought up
the oldest and how at that time, she just started to add more food to her
menu. She was already almost 13 then and that's when I realized I needed to
stop worrying. She was fine and he was fine and what was the big deal. So I
had to feed him before we went out to dinner anywhere. So what???

It does work out eventually. Sometimes it may seem like it's taking forever,
but trust them to know what they need and want and it will be fine.

Our other 2 girls so far, eat everything put in front of them.

Mary B



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For anyone wishing to have a book to hand to relatives/friends who question
their choices, I recommend

Let them eat cake! : the case against controlling what your children eat :
the pediatrician's guide to safe and healthy food and growth (Later
republished as What should I feed my kids? : the pediatrician's guide to safe
and healthy food and growth) by Ronald E. Kleinman, Michael S. Jellinek with
Julie Houston

MO Milligans

Mary Bianco wrote:

>Just don't give him a "I told you so," they hate that!!!! (Sorry Todd!)
==
Oh, hey, no problem :-) I'm quite used to being wrong, what with a "Ren" in
the house and all. LOL. Just kidding, the other Ren! <g>

Todd
-------------------------------------
"Despite the high cost of living
it's still extremely popular!"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html

Myranda

Thanks, Tia, that would be wonderful!!!! We're not planning on getting pregnant for another 10 mths or so, so no rush! :-)
Myranda
I was at the unassisted homebirth of my third grandbaby in August. It was
pretty special. I really couldn't say anything about their plans, since we
had birthed her unassisted, not out of choice, but because there were no
midwives available then.

There are a couple of unassisted birth lists. I could find out about them
if you wanted.
Tia



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Judy

my dh was the one who wanted an unassisted birth!
I preferred to have the midwife with us.
I love homebirths......
sigh......
-Jude

Tia Leschke wrote:

> I'm trying to work on him for an unassisted homebirth next time, but
> that's
> the one thing he's stood firm about for 6 years now, so I may not be
> able to
> get that one.
>
> I was at the unassisted homebirth of my third grandbaby in August. It was
> pretty special. I really couldn't say anything about their plans,
> since we
> had birthed her unassisted, not out of choice, but because there were no
> midwives available then.
>
> There are a couple of unassisted birth lists. I could find out about them
> if you wanted.
> Tia
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/M=233351.2428261.3848243.2225242/D=egroupweb/S=1705081972:HM/A=1213956/R=0/*http://www.gotomypc.com/u/tr/yh/grp/300_Cquo1/g22lp?Target=mm/g22lp.tmpl>
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
> email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the
> list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
> an email to:
> [email protected]
>
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>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Stephanie Elms

> Well, I think you are taking the right path. I don't have any
> personal
> experience with someone not "getting it" and then finally "seeing the
> light", sorry. But I still think you did good! <hugs>

Thanks Todd! Maybe you can come over here to virginia and bonk my dh
over the head and knock some sense into him? <jk! I think....>

Stephanie E.
>

Stephanie Elms

> I have (had) two very picky eaters. Once we allowed
> food choice, they became much more willing to try new
> things and discovered some likes. either that or I was
> more easily able to see the wise food choices they
> were making rather than focusing on their "junk"
> consumption.

Thanks Elissa. I needed to hear that. Yesterday was a total junk food
day...candy from his soccer game at 9 am, wouldn't eat breakfast, went
to a company picnic where all they ate was cookies and soda. Didn't want
dinner. But today, they ate very little junk food (did not even ask for it)
and Jason actually had some sprite left over after dinner....

Stephanie E.

Stephanie Elms

> My DH is the same way. Whenever I introduce a new "weird"
> idea to him, at first he is very against it, then after I
> show him e-mails, websites, books, etc to back it up, he
> eventually just says "whatever, we'll try it for a little
> bit" then he always ends up admitting I was right, it was a
> good idea, and it is working! LOL I was just telling him
> yesterday that it would be so much simpler if he'd just agree
> to begin with!

At least your hubby admits you were right LOL! When I was going
for a vbac, he could not understand why I wanted to go through all
that. Felt it would have been easier to just schedule a csec. But he
did not give me a hard time when I hired a doula and switched obs
at 35 weeks (to an ob/midwife collaborative practice). Even after
my successful unmedicated hospital vbac, he did not seem overly
impressed. But this time around he has not batted an eye about still
nursing my 2.5 yo at least. :o) HeHeHe...just as he gets used
to me I go and find all sorts of new wacko ideas like unschooling!

AH well, I just have to keep reminding myself that he will come around.
I just don't want him to think that I don't care what he thinks. It is
just that I tend to put more research and thought into our parenting.
He tends to do what his parents did and does not question mainstream
parenting. Lucky him to be married to me I guess!

Stephanie E.

Stephanie Elms

>
> I do know of other husbands of friends who have gone through
> the same thing.
> Not just with food stuff but with the whole unschooling way.
> When people see
> it working, they can't help but come to a better understanding.

Oh I hope so! Right now I seem to still be hedging based on what I
think that dh wants me to do (not with food since I have his "blessing")
but with letting things go (in dh's terms "letting him get away with
things"). I realized that things went much smoother during last week
when I was able let things go more then this weekend when I kept second
guessing myself based on what I think he wanted me to do. Think we
have to have a few more talks....
> Cut to the chase, she's almost 17 now and you would never
> know she had been
> such a picky kid. First of all, even though she still goes to
> school, she
> gets sick less than we do. She's very healthy and now eats
> chicken and
> steak, carrots, green beans, corn, grapes, etc. Point is she
> added to her
> diet considerably on her own without any prompting from us.
> She can go out
> anywhere and eat without anyone knowing she could never ever
> do that before.

This is what I am hoping! That Jason will develop his own better
eating habits earlier then I did!
>
> Added note here, our almost 8 year old son is doing the same
> thing. Started
> out eating everything in sight and gradually started to cut
> things out of
> his diet. He lives on PB&J, pizza, hot dogs, cheese, pasta,
> cereal, corn,
> tortilla chips and sour cream!! He likes fast food chicken
> but not from
> home. Go figure!! He's thin but not skinny and has more
> energy than all of
> us put together.

Sounds familiar...only without the pasta and cheese and sour cream! And
ditto on the fast food chix but not the home one. Glad to know that we
are not alone.


Thanks Mary B!

Stephanie E.

Mary Bianco

>From: MO Milligans <Ozarkren@...>

<<Oh, hey, no problem :-) I'm quite used to being wrong, what with a "Ren"
in
the house and all. LOL. Just kidding, the other Ren! <g>>

Glad to see you have a sense of humor Todd!!! I just had to throw that in
but I hate the I told you so's as much as anyone. My mother, to this day is
still notorious for an "I TOLD you!" with a tone that wants to just make one
scream!!!

Mary B




_________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]

<< Finally wore down dh, he basically just threw up his hands and said that
if
the boys wind up on Jerry Springer because they are 300 lbs and suing McDs,
it
will be my fault. >>

I hate those kinds of curses.

BUT on the other hands, by turning life into a bet like that, YOU WILL WIN!
Because even if they're 300 lbs and suing McD's, as long as they're not on
Jerry Springer, your husband's dire prediction didn't come true!

My husband weighs in the 300 lb range, and his mother was and still is one of
the most food controlling humans ever lived. But he was a pudgy little baby,
and I'm SURE she measured his formula to the ounce and charted it. (WWII
nurse)

So rather than saying it's genetic, or that her method didn't work, she just
says he ate too much once he left her house.

That's kind of a change of subject, yet it isn't. IF the traditional way
worked in some predictable clockwork way, why is anyone overweight or
anorexic?

<<Wish that I had more of his support, or at least him being
open to this working>>

It won't take so long, I bet.

<<I really do feel sorry for him sometimes...I am basically asking him to
re-think
everything that he knows about parenting. Not to mention the fact that dh
really
thrives on control. >>

Maybe he can get a new hobby. My husband started doing woodworking and
woodcarving lately. Keeps him busy, he listens to music while he works, he's
very controlling about how his chisels and table saw and stuff are put away.
He controls his workshop. <g>

<<Any one have a
previously reluctant dh who has "seen the light" care to share their story? I
would love to hear it!
>>

My husband learned a long time ago that I wasn't going to change my life and
charge off in a new direction unless I was pretty confident, so by the time
the kids were old enough to talk about it we'd been together over ten years,
and he had a lot of confidence in MY confidence.


Sandra

Stephanie Elms

> I hate those kinds of curses.
>
> BUT on the other hands, by turning life into a bet like that,
> YOU WILL WIN!

LOL! That is true! And actually, once he "gives in" to me, things usually
smooth out. At least he seems to be pretty ok with it so far.


> That's kind of a change of subject, yet it isn't. IF the
> traditional way
> worked in some predictable clockwork way, why is anyone overweight or
> anorexic?

Yup. That has been my argument all along. That and it obviously is not
working right now with Jason, because we have had junk food restrictions
for quite awhile now and we were still having arguments and him begging
for it. It had gotten to the point that I would not want to make cookies
with him, because I hated feeling like I had to restrict him on eating
them and I did not like the arguments that ensued. Kind of sad, actually
now that I think about it...not being able to share making cookies with
my kids without arguments. Kind of like how sad it is that the "experts"
say we should not rock and nurse our babies to sleep for fear of "bad
habits". One of life's most simple joys and "experts" make us feel
guilty about it. Geesh. I feel another light bulb going off....these
same experts tell us how we have to we have to be diligent as parents,
controlling our kids behaviors, controlling what foods they eat, what
time they go to bed, how much tv they watch. If we don't we will have
spoiled kids who have no self-discipline (my dad's biggest complaint
about me hsing) who do nothing but watch tv. We are told that we are
bad parents if we don't. That of course kids will complain, but we need
to be strong, after all we are their parents, not their friends....


>
> Maybe he can get a new hobby. My husband started doing
> woodworking and
> woodcarving lately. Keeps him busy, he listens to music
> while he works, he's
> very controlling about how his chisels and table saw and
> stuff are put away.
> He controls his workshop. <g>

Actually he recently started working out at the gym. He had gone
up two pants sizes over the past year and decided that he didn't
like that. He goes everyday (he comes home from work early or
goes after the boys are in bed) at least 30 mins, every other day
is 1.5 hrs. He researched his work outs online and in magazines.
He has a very complicated regimen that he tracks in his palm pilot
(or whatever newest gizmo that has come out lately). He is also
controlling his diet, eating at certain times, cutting out fat (making
me do so as well, which is a good thing!), drinking shakes and eating
protein bars. And it is working. He is looking great.

Compare that to me...I have just started getting up a little early and
going for a morning walk. Not sure how far I walk, but am usually out for
about 30-45 mins. I am trying to cut back on fat, but have a bag of halloween
m&ms in front of me now. Am trying to drink more water...

I do hope that he can get his control issues out during his work out! But I am
not sure. I have been trying to share with him things that work, but I swear he
thinks that I am making things up. I have found that if Jason is doing something that
really pushes my buttons, if I walk away, he stops it. If he runs away from me when it
is time to get ready for bed (we read for awhile and if he is not tired he stays up
with me in my craft room while I do my rubber stamping, but he has to be upstairs so
that Jeff can walk Kyle to sleep (who is usually tired around 8 or 8:30)) I just
go upstairs. Jason always follows in a couple of minutes. This bugs Jeff to no end.
Feels that if he says that it is time to get ready for bed, it is time to get ready
for bed. If Jason does not listen, Jeff gets mad, chases him down, carries him
crying upstairs. Jason gets upset and says that Jeff "hurt" him, Jeff says that Jason
should listen to him yadda yadda yadda. Now Jeff says that my way teaches him that he
does not have to listen to me (um...yeah, but he does come upstairs within 5 mins
and we have a nice peaceful rest of the evening vs an upset kid and upset dad). Ah but
I digress....

Sometimes I wish that he would put as much thought into his parenting as he does
into his workout. He loves the boys, but he is perfectly fine with following the
mainstream parenting line. Actually it would not bother me as much if he wouldn't
fight with me on things so much. Considering that I do put a lot more thought
and research into my parenting....


> My husband learned a long time ago that I wasn't going to
> change my life and
> charge off in a new direction unless I was pretty confident,
> so by the time
> the kids were old enough to talk about it we'd been together
> over ten years,
> and he had a lot of confidence in MY confidence.

Our 11th anniversary is on Saturday and we dated for almost 5 years before.
Good thing too or we might be in trouble LOL! Actually, he did tell my
dad this summer (when my dad was complaining about our decision to hs) that
I was a smart person and that he knew that I had put a lot of thought into this
and that he trusted m to do what was best for the boys. Hmmm...maybe I need
to remind him of this LOL! Actually I think the problem lately is that I have
been focusing on what he should not be doing rather than on things that he can
do. I know that I would get tired of hearing what I was doing wrong. I think that
I need to take the same approach I have been taking with the boys...model, model,
model. Teaching is not working (should I be surprised? LOL!). So I guess a little
unschooling is in order...either that or I need to hit him over the head with
something....

Thanks for letting me ramble...

Stephanie E.

>

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/7/02 10:07:00 PM, stephanie.elms@...
writes:

<< Actually, he did tell my
dad this summer (when my dad was complaining about our decision to hs) that
I was a smart person and that he knew that I had put a lot of thought into
this
and that he trusted m to do what was best for the boys. Hmmm...maybe I need
to remind him of this LOL >>

YES!

I liked your point that you've put lots of work/thought into what you're
doing, just as he's put work into the gym/workout stuff. You could point
that out too.

Sandra

Todd M.

At 09:51 PM 10/6/02 -0400, Stephanie Elms wrote:

>Thanks Todd! Maybe you can come over here to virginia and bonk my dh
>over the head and knock some sense into him? <jk! I think....>
==
Yeah, sure, okay :) Be right over! <g>

Todd
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Todd M.

Mary Bianco wrote:

>Glad to see you have a sense of humor Todd!!!
==
Well, you know, I guess it helps to have one :-D

Todd
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Respect the child. Be not too much his parent. Trespass not on his solitude."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kelli Traaseth

Do you know how many bags of M & Ms I've polished off in my life?
Lots! You know how much my Mom limited my sweet tooth? Lots!
I didn't know there was any other pop/soda than Tab! Sad, huh?
I was on a diet my whole life and I never weighed more than 150 lbs and I'm 5 feet 9 1/2 inches! I do now! But point is, if I just live my life and not worry about fat or what I look like, I lose weight, hmmm. I wish everyone could just love themselves and get over it! That's why letting my children choose what to eat is sooo important to me and you know what, they are just fine!
Gee who would uv thunk that we should eat when we are hungry and it might not be at the exact times as everyone else?? And its ok to eat chips sometimes and eat candy sometimes and chocolate, sometimes.
My big discovery in the last week or so is that I am craving less things since starting yoga. Some one came over this weekend and he loves chocolate like I do and was complaining I didn't have any. I had to stop and think, yeah, I guess I havn't bought any for a while??????????What's wrong with me or right with me?
I think maybe I'll be converting from Lutheranism to Budhism, what do you think? Not much of a stretch? right? <g>
I'll stop now,
Kelli

Stephanie Elms wrote:
> I hate those kinds of curses.
>
> BUT on the other hands, by turning life into a bet like that,
> YOU WILL WIN!

LOL! That is true! And actually, once he "gives in" to me, things usually
smooth out. At least he seems to be pretty ok with it so far.


> That's kind of a change of subject, yet it isn't. IF the
> traditional way
> worked in some predictable clockwork way, why is anyone overweight or
> anorexic?

Yup. That has been my argument all along. That and it obviously is not
working right now with Jason, because we have had junk food restrictions
for quite awhile now and we were still having arguments and him begging
for it. It had gotten to the point that I would not want to make cookies
with him, because I hated feeling like I had to restrict him on eating
them and I did not like the arguments that ensued. Kind of sad, actually
now that I think about it...not being able to share making cookies with
my kids without arguments. Kind of like how sad it is that the "experts"
say we should not rock and nurse our babies to sleep for fear of "bad
habits". One of life's most simple joys and "experts" make us feel
guilty about it. Geesh. I feel another light bulb going off....these
same experts tell us how we have to we have to be diligent as parents,
controlling our kids behaviors, controlling what foods they eat, what
time they go to bed, how much tv they watch. If we don't we will have
spoiled kids who have no self-discipline (my dad's biggest complaint
about me hsing) who do nothing but watch tv. We are told that we are
bad parents if we don't. That of course kids will complain, but we need
to be strong, after all we are their parents, not their friends....


>
> Maybe he can get a new hobby. My husband started doing
> woodworking and
> woodcarving lately. Keeps him busy, he listens to music
> while he works, he's
> very controlling about how his chisels and table saw and
> stuff are put away.
> He controls his workshop. <g>

Actually he recently started working out at the gym. He had gone
up two pants sizes over the past year and decided that he didn't
like that. He goes everyday (he comes home from work early or
goes after the boys are in bed) at least 30 mins, every other day
is 1.5 hrs. He researched his work outs online and in magazines.
He has a very complicated regimen that he tracks in his palm pilot
(or whatever newest gizmo that has come out lately). He is also
controlling his diet, eating at certain times, cutting out fat (making
me do so as well, which is a good thing!), drinking shakes and eating
protein bars. And it is working. He is looking great.

Compare that to me...I have just started getting up a little early and
going for a morning walk. Not sure how far I walk, but am usually out for
about 30-45 mins. I am trying to cut back on fat, but have a bag of halloween
m&ms in front of me now. Am trying to drink more water...

I do hope that he can get his control issues out during his work out! But I am
not sure. I have been trying to share with him things that work, but I swear he
thinks that I am making things up. I have found that if Jason is doing something that
really pushes my buttons, if I walk away, he stops it. If he runs away from me when it
is time to get ready for bed (we read for awhile and if he is not tired he stays up
with me in my craft room while I do my rubber stamping, but he has to be upstairs so
that Jeff can walk Kyle to sleep (who is usually tired around 8 or 8:30)) I just
go upstairs. Jason always follows in a couple of minutes. This bugs Jeff to no end.
Feels that if he says that it is time to get ready for bed, it is time to get ready
for bed. If Jason does not listen, Jeff gets mad, chases him down, carries him
crying upstairs. Jason gets upset and says that Jeff "hurt" him, Jeff says that Jason
should listen to him yadda yadda yadda. Now Jeff says that my way teaches him that he
does not have to listen to me (um...yeah, but he does come upstairs within 5 mins
and we have a nice peaceful rest of the evening vs an upset kid and upset dad). Ah but
I digress....

Sometimes I wish that he would put as much thought into his parenting as he does
into his workout. He loves the boys, but he is perfectly fine with following the
mainstream parenting line. Actually it would not bother me as much if he wouldn't
fight with me on things so much. Considering that I do put a lot more thought
and research into my parenting....


> My husband learned a long time ago that I wasn't going to
> change my life and
> charge off in a new direction unless I was pretty confident,
> so by the time
> the kids were old enough to talk about it we'd been together
> over ten years,
> and he had a lot of confidence in MY confidence.

Our 11th anniversary is on Saturday and we dated for almost 5 years before.
Good thing too or we might be in trouble LOL! Actually, he did tell my
dad this summer (when my dad was complaining about our decision to hs) that
I was a smart person and that he knew that I had put a lot of thought into this
and that he trusted m to do what was best for the boys. Hmmm...maybe I need
to remind him of this LOL! Actually I think the problem lately is that I have
been focusing on what he should not be doing rather than on things that he can
do. I know that I would get tired of hearing what I was doing wrong. I think that
I need to take the same approach I have been taking with the boys...model, model,
model. Teaching is not working (should I be surprised? LOL!). So I guess a little
unschooling is in order...either that or I need to hit him over the head with
something....

Thanks for letting me ramble...

Stephanie E.

>

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