Re: Reassurance
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In a message dated 11/9/99 11:42:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
Bcadams997@... writes:
<< My son paused and considered. "Well," he said
thoughtfully, "we're unschoolers, so the possibilities are endless!"
different with my 11yro. today.I read an essay about a family's journey
through hsing. It was a little over his head but he has me so frustrated
trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with/for him as far as hsing
goes. The woman who wrote the article told how they decided to hs and
expressed the doubts they had along the way. What I really wanted him to hear
was how they came to believe that letting a child find his own way was the
best way to learn. After they had been hsing several years she became a sub.
teacher. This really cemented for her that hsing is the best for children.
The story had much more than that but I hope you get the point.
We have had a couple of bad days with the boys bickering, fighting and
worst of all older chasing younger around house. UGH! Today was better.
Anyway I think the article did help. He gets angry and accuses me of not
teaching him anything. A ridiculous accusation since he has accomplished
quite a bit of work and mastered a few things that eluded him in school.
I've come to the conclusion that possibly he is acting out of fear. The
same fear we experience day to day on this journey. I think he becomes afraid
he's missing something or won't learn something important.
Our conversations led to some very interesting comments by him. He told
me why he hated art class. He who is an artist. He would get excited when the
teacher would say we are going to draw something today...Then she would ruin
it by telling them what they had to draw and continue with how to draw it. He
would have rather she let them draw and be there when they needed help. Wow!
He said the same with clay, why couldn't they make what they wanted. I guess
it's kind of hard to grade someone's original work isn't it. If you have a
model than one is to copy it.
The other was about the library. He said we looked forward to library,
but when we got there the librarian (at school) would give us these handouts
and we had to write over and over for several weeks who was author, when
printed, things about alphabetical order etc. I was so surprised, he had
never told me this before. What a way to ruin the joy of going to the
library. I have been wondering why he always says he hates the library when
he used to love it.
I know this is long and I've been thinking about it a while how to
explain it. I don't know if I've done a good job or not. I have a hard enough
time reassuring myself so when he explodes I feel panicky. Not because I
doubt what I'm trying to do but because he is having such a time adjusting. I
don't want to be angry with him since I do believe this is what he is
expressing but some days are so hard.
Has anyone else dealt with this and if so how did give reassurance?
Laura
Bcadams997@... writes:
<< My son paused and considered. "Well," he said
thoughtfully, "we're unschoolers, so the possibilities are endless!"
>>We are still working on getting to this point. I decided to try something
different with my 11yro. today.I read an essay about a family's journey
through hsing. It was a little over his head but he has me so frustrated
trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with/for him as far as hsing
goes. The woman who wrote the article told how they decided to hs and
expressed the doubts they had along the way. What I really wanted him to hear
was how they came to believe that letting a child find his own way was the
best way to learn. After they had been hsing several years she became a sub.
teacher. This really cemented for her that hsing is the best for children.
The story had much more than that but I hope you get the point.
We have had a couple of bad days with the boys bickering, fighting and
worst of all older chasing younger around house. UGH! Today was better.
Anyway I think the article did help. He gets angry and accuses me of not
teaching him anything. A ridiculous accusation since he has accomplished
quite a bit of work and mastered a few things that eluded him in school.
I've come to the conclusion that possibly he is acting out of fear. The
same fear we experience day to day on this journey. I think he becomes afraid
he's missing something or won't learn something important.
Our conversations led to some very interesting comments by him. He told
me why he hated art class. He who is an artist. He would get excited when the
teacher would say we are going to draw something today...Then she would ruin
it by telling them what they had to draw and continue with how to draw it. He
would have rather she let them draw and be there when they needed help. Wow!
He said the same with clay, why couldn't they make what they wanted. I guess
it's kind of hard to grade someone's original work isn't it. If you have a
model than one is to copy it.
The other was about the library. He said we looked forward to library,
but when we got there the librarian (at school) would give us these handouts
and we had to write over and over for several weeks who was author, when
printed, things about alphabetical order etc. I was so surprised, he had
never told me this before. What a way to ruin the joy of going to the
library. I have been wondering why he always says he hates the library when
he used to love it.
I know this is long and I've been thinking about it a while how to
explain it. I don't know if I've done a good job or not. I have a hard enough
time reassuring myself so when he explodes I feel panicky. Not because I
doubt what I'm trying to do but because he is having such a time adjusting. I
don't want to be angry with him since I do believe this is what he is
expressing but some days are so hard.
Has anyone else dealt with this and if so how did give reassurance?
Laura