curfew trouble
Mary Bianco
Well so far it's not with my daughter, it's with my husband. My daughter is
still asking me what time she has to be in. She's just not getting it and
said she feels like this is some kind of test and she doesn't want to flunk.
(for those not up to date, she goes to school)
I just had to laugh at her.
I told my husband tonight and that didn't go over well at all. Maybe it had
something to do with him going with the police to get this ex of our
daughter's served with a restraining order, a kid that his parents care
nothing about and let him run helter skelter.
So he told me he didn't want to talk about it because I would get upset and
so would he and my mind was made up anyway. Then he said I was wrong and I
was making a mistake. Later in the house he asked if we could talk about
this later. I told him not if he couldn't get out of his narrow mind and
think beyond the little box he was in. He apologized for what he said and
agreed to listen to what I had to say tonight. Not sure he'll see my point
but I'll try.
He just feels like we are responsible for Tara at all times when she's out
and what if something happens and he does feel like something is more likely
to happen in the wee hours of the morning than at 12:00 at night. Not
necessarily with her but involving someone else. He feels like we're not
being responsible by letting her come and go as she pleases.
We'll see where this one goes. If I need help, I'll be yelling!!!!!
Mary B
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still asking me what time she has to be in. She's just not getting it and
said she feels like this is some kind of test and she doesn't want to flunk.
(for those not up to date, she goes to school)
I just had to laugh at her.
I told my husband tonight and that didn't go over well at all. Maybe it had
something to do with him going with the police to get this ex of our
daughter's served with a restraining order, a kid that his parents care
nothing about and let him run helter skelter.
So he told me he didn't want to talk about it because I would get upset and
so would he and my mind was made up anyway. Then he said I was wrong and I
was making a mistake. Later in the house he asked if we could talk about
this later. I told him not if he couldn't get out of his narrow mind and
think beyond the little box he was in. He apologized for what he said and
agreed to listen to what I had to say tonight. Not sure he'll see my point
but I'll try.
He just feels like we are responsible for Tara at all times when she's out
and what if something happens and he does feel like something is more likely
to happen in the wee hours of the morning than at 12:00 at night. Not
necessarily with her but involving someone else. He feels like we're not
being responsible by letting her come and go as she pleases.
We'll see where this one goes. If I need help, I'll be yelling!!!!!
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Join the world�s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
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Myranda
If it helps any, I never had a curfew. I did have a rule that I had to let my parents know who I was with and the general plans I had. I also was told that if I ever abused it by getting into trouble, getting drunk, etc that I would get a curfew. I stayed out til the wee hours lots of times, but it was always good honest (if not always clean) fun with my friends. I never got in any trouble and I never got into drinking or drugs even though a lot of my friends were into both.
The difference may have been that I almost always was with a steady boyfriend who would stand by me and protect me if necessary. There are many times I could have been in some seriously sticky situations that moments before were completely innocent if I had not had my boyfriend with me. Girlfriends tend to run off when trouble starts.
I have no idea what I'll do for curfews with my kids. I'd love to be able to follow the "no curfew if you earn/keep my trust" rule but the way things are nowdays, I just don't know. :-(
Good luck figuring it out!
Myranda
Well so far it's not with my daughter, it's with my husband. My daughter is
still asking me what time she has to be in. She's just not getting it and
said she feels like this is some kind of test and she doesn't want to flunk.
(for those not up to date, she goes to school)
I just had to laugh at her.
I told my husband tonight and that didn't go over well at all. Maybe it had
something to do with him going with the police to get this ex of our
daughter's served with a restraining order, a kid that his parents care
nothing about and let him run helter skelter.
So he told me he didn't want to talk about it because I would get upset and
so would he and my mind was made up anyway. Then he said I was wrong and I
was making a mistake. Later in the house he asked if we could talk about
this later. I told him not if he couldn't get out of his narrow mind and
think beyond the little box he was in. He apologized for what he said and
agreed to listen to what I had to say tonight. Not sure he'll see my point
but I'll try.
He just feels like we are responsible for Tara at all times when she's out
and what if something happens and he does feel like something is more likely
to happen in the wee hours of the morning than at 12:00 at night. Not
necessarily with her but involving someone else. He feels like we're not
being responsible by letting her come and go as she pleases.
We'll see where this one goes. If I need help, I'll be yelling!!!!!
Mary B
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The difference may have been that I almost always was with a steady boyfriend who would stand by me and protect me if necessary. There are many times I could have been in some seriously sticky situations that moments before were completely innocent if I had not had my boyfriend with me. Girlfriends tend to run off when trouble starts.
I have no idea what I'll do for curfews with my kids. I'd love to be able to follow the "no curfew if you earn/keep my trust" rule but the way things are nowdays, I just don't know. :-(
Good luck figuring it out!
Myranda
Well so far it's not with my daughter, it's with my husband. My daughter is
still asking me what time she has to be in. She's just not getting it and
said she feels like this is some kind of test and she doesn't want to flunk.
(for those not up to date, she goes to school)
I just had to laugh at her.
I told my husband tonight and that didn't go over well at all. Maybe it had
something to do with him going with the police to get this ex of our
daughter's served with a restraining order, a kid that his parents care
nothing about and let him run helter skelter.
So he told me he didn't want to talk about it because I would get upset and
so would he and my mind was made up anyway. Then he said I was wrong and I
was making a mistake. Later in the house he asked if we could talk about
this later. I told him not if he couldn't get out of his narrow mind and
think beyond the little box he was in. He apologized for what he said and
agreed to listen to what I had to say tonight. Not sure he'll see my point
but I'll try.
He just feels like we are responsible for Tara at all times when she's out
and what if something happens and he does feel like something is more likely
to happen in the wee hours of the morning than at 12:00 at night. Not
necessarily with her but involving someone else. He feels like we're not
being responsible by letting her come and go as she pleases.
We'll see where this one goes. If I need help, I'll be yelling!!!!!
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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Mary Bianco
>From: "Myranda" <myrandab@...>Thanks Myranda,
>If it helps any, I never had a curfew. I did have a rule that I had to let
>my parents know who I was with and the general plans I had. I also was told
>that if I ever abused it by getting into trouble, getting drunk, etc that I
>would get a curfew. I stayed out til the wee hours lots of times, but it
>was always good honest (if not always clean) fun with my friends. I never
>got in any trouble and I never got into drinking or drugs even though a lot
>of my friends were into both.
I plan on using some of this also when I talk to my husband tonight. I never
had a curfew either and never really stayed out late, Maybe right before
2:00 on just a few occasions. My mom always new where I was even though
there were no cell phones or beepers in those days. I did do some drinking
and drugging but nothing that eve got me into trouble and I graduated top 10
of my class. My husband had a curfew and was very heavy into drinking and
drugs at a very young age. He just did it all before he had to be home. I
plan on using this too tonight!!!
It's just really hard with teenagers nowadays and I guess a lot of it
depends on where you live too and what the kids are doing. Being that I know
she's with her boyfiend makes me feel a lot safer. I truse him with her to
keep her safe and he seems very smart about where he wants to go and how to
get there. He's a bit older in more ways than one. He was mapping out a
pension plan to my daughter the other day. Totally freaked her out!!! So
that helps me too. Not sure if she was just out in a car with a bunch of
girls that I would feel as safe for her.
Time will tell but she does seem like she doesn't want to mess up this
chance she's been given.
Mary B
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Join the world�s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
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Myranda
Mary,
Hope your talk went good last night!!! Yes, I agree where you live would have a lot to do with it! I'd be much more likely to let my kids stay out til whenever if we still lived in our close-knit county in Tennessee where we knew most of the people and they knew us, than I would be here near the big impersonal city of Columbia, SC.
Myranda
Thanks Myranda,
I plan on using some of this also when I talk to my husband tonight. I never
had a curfew either and never really stayed out late, Maybe right before
2:00 on just a few occasions. My mom always new where I was even though
there were no cell phones or beepers in those days. I did do some drinking
and drugging but nothing that eve got me into trouble and I graduated top 10
of my class. My husband had a curfew and was very heavy into drinking and
drugs at a very young age. He just did it all before he had to be home. I
plan on using this too tonight!!!
It's just really hard with teenagers nowadays and I guess a lot of it
depends on where you live too and what the kids are doing. Being that I know
she's with her boyfiend makes me feel a lot safer. I truse him with her to
keep her safe and he seems very smart about where he wants to go and how to
get there. He's a bit older in more ways than one. He was mapping out a
pension plan to my daughter the other day. Totally freaked her out!!! So
that helps me too. Not sure if she was just out in a car with a bunch of
girls that I would feel as safe for her.
Time will tell but she does seem like she doesn't want to mess up this
chance she's been given.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
http://www.hotmail.com
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
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Hope your talk went good last night!!! Yes, I agree where you live would have a lot to do with it! I'd be much more likely to let my kids stay out til whenever if we still lived in our close-knit county in Tennessee where we knew most of the people and they knew us, than I would be here near the big impersonal city of Columbia, SC.
Myranda
Thanks Myranda,
I plan on using some of this also when I talk to my husband tonight. I never
had a curfew either and never really stayed out late, Maybe right before
2:00 on just a few occasions. My mom always new where I was even though
there were no cell phones or beepers in those days. I did do some drinking
and drugging but nothing that eve got me into trouble and I graduated top 10
of my class. My husband had a curfew and was very heavy into drinking and
drugs at a very young age. He just did it all before he had to be home. I
plan on using this too tonight!!!
It's just really hard with teenagers nowadays and I guess a lot of it
depends on where you live too and what the kids are doing. Being that I know
she's with her boyfiend makes me feel a lot safer. I truse him with her to
keep her safe and he seems very smart about where he wants to go and how to
get there. He's a bit older in more ways than one. He was mapping out a
pension plan to my daughter the other day. Totally freaked her out!!! So
that helps me too. Not sure if she was just out in a car with a bunch of
girls that I would feel as safe for her.
Time will tell but she does seem like she doesn't want to mess up this
chance she's been given.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
http://www.hotmail.com
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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