Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2355
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/10/2002 7:17:39 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
mentioned, in my only-sometimes humble opinion <BEG>. I have read all three
and I do have a VERY explosive child who is now almost 15 (next week) and
almost always delightful.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Always reassuring when it is! I'll also check out Pam S's bookDid I suggest "The Explosive Child?" - much better than the two you
> suggestion, but I've really liked (and really need to pull out again) Mary
>
> Sheedy Kurcinka's books, "Raising Your Spirited Child" and "Kids, Parents
> and
> Power Struggles."
mentioned, in my only-sometimes humble opinion <BEG>. I have read all three
and I do have a VERY explosive child who is now almost 15 (next week) and
almost always delightful.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/10/2002 7:17:39 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
with younger children..... you don't need to worry about them becoming
responsible for themselves if YOU are willing to LET them be when they want
to be to the extent that they are reasonably competent to be. It is human
nature to grab at it -- they will do that.
So - yes -- if you give him the message that he can't even trust himself to
know if he's hungry or not -- that undermines him taking responsibility for
himself in the future. So never get into the: "Here, you need to eat this
because you're cranky." "No, I'm not hungry." "Yes, I think you are.".....
kind of power struggle. That would be undermining, imo.
But - if you put out of tray of cheese and crackers or whatever, and he
takes some and eats it and feels better, you just allowed him to be IN
control and do something beneficial for himself. That isn't undermining -
that is supporting.
If he DOESN"T eat it and he is still really cranky and hard to get along with
-- maybe it is something else and not being hungry. Take it at face value
that time and offer food EARLIER next time.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
>AH AH -- I just thought of something really important to say to those of you
> > But what's the transistion from
> > that to taking responsibility for themselves?
>
> If that's your semi-conscious goal, then you're probably sending that
> message and he's going to feel pushed. Which will make him pull back if
> he's
> not ready to go. Make him feel like you'll be there forever and he'll feel
> secure pulling away when he's ready.
with younger children..... you don't need to worry about them becoming
responsible for themselves if YOU are willing to LET them be when they want
to be to the extent that they are reasonably competent to be. It is human
nature to grab at it -- they will do that.
So - yes -- if you give him the message that he can't even trust himself to
know if he's hungry or not -- that undermines him taking responsibility for
himself in the future. So never get into the: "Here, you need to eat this
because you're cranky." "No, I'm not hungry." "Yes, I think you are.".....
kind of power struggle. That would be undermining, imo.
But - if you put out of tray of cheese and crackers or whatever, and he
takes some and eats it and feels better, you just allowed him to be IN
control and do something beneficial for himself. That isn't undermining -
that is supporting.
If he DOESN"T eat it and he is still really cranky and hard to get along with
-- maybe it is something else and not being hungry. Take it at face value
that time and offer food EARLIER next time.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/10/2002 7:17:39 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Kids don't fit them, ever, of course. But it makes it easier to get through a
tough time when you know there are stages as kids grow up. Remember that your
8 yo just thinks the 3 yo will ALWAYS be like this -- no perspective. So
another thing to do is tell him, over and over, that the 3 yo will change,
that this is temporary. Maybe you can say, "Like so-and-so changed...." if
there is someone he knows who went through a difficult stage and came out the
other end an okay kid.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> the Gesell institute books,Yes - those are the ones I was talking about too.
> Your one Year old
> Your Two Year old
> blah
> blah
> blah,
> While they have some whacked out ideas about separation, etc.- can be
> very helpful in explaining developmental issues. I always benefited from
> reading them.
>
Kids don't fit them, ever, of course. But it makes it easier to get through a
tough time when you know there are stages as kids grow up. Remember that your
8 yo just thinks the 3 yo will ALWAYS be like this -- no perspective. So
another thing to do is tell him, over and over, that the 3 yo will change,
that this is temporary. Maybe you can say, "Like so-and-so changed...." if
there is someone he knows who went through a difficult stage and came out the
other end an okay kid.
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
se
I have been reading the posts on 2 different threads, the ones about kids
who get cranky and need to eat and the ones about kids who have meltdowns.
I have one kid who fits both of those categories, like Pam's child he is
now 15. My doctor tells me that stress can also cause hypoglycemia, my son
even ocasionally gets blinding headaches from this, I think it is when his
blood sugar levels plummet. He almost passed out in an airport a couple of
months ago, missed his flight and everything, I think he hadn't eaten much
and had just had a very emotional parting:(
I wanted to add a positive twist to the explosive type of personality. My
son has always had an intense extreme personality, he doesn't have a lot of
medium speed, the world is either wonderful or everything is awful.
However, this means that when he gets involved in something he doesn't
dabble he dives right in.
My husband worries about the anger management issues for our son. It is
quite scary when a 140 pounds 5'9" "man" is roaring and raging around the
place. I have to say that I have noticed though that even when he appears
to be out of control these days (including fighting with one of his younger
brothers) he is not really completely out of control. I have hopes that
eventually he will be able to stop himself from flying into a rage over
small frustrations. It has taken my father about 60 or 70 years to start
doing this:(
Susanna
"Knit on, with confidence and hope, through all crises."
Elizabeth Zimmermann 1910-2000
who get cranky and need to eat and the ones about kids who have meltdowns.
I have one kid who fits both of those categories, like Pam's child he is
now 15. My doctor tells me that stress can also cause hypoglycemia, my son
even ocasionally gets blinding headaches from this, I think it is when his
blood sugar levels plummet. He almost passed out in an airport a couple of
months ago, missed his flight and everything, I think he hadn't eaten much
and had just had a very emotional parting:(
I wanted to add a positive twist to the explosive type of personality. My
son has always had an intense extreme personality, he doesn't have a lot of
medium speed, the world is either wonderful or everything is awful.
However, this means that when he gets involved in something he doesn't
dabble he dives right in.
My husband worries about the anger management issues for our son. It is
quite scary when a 140 pounds 5'9" "man" is roaring and raging around the
place. I have to say that I have noticed though that even when he appears
to be out of control these days (including fighting with one of his younger
brothers) he is not really completely out of control. I have hopes that
eventually he will be able to stop himself from flying into a rage over
small frustrations. It has taken my father about 60 or 70 years to start
doing this:(
Susanna
"Knit on, with confidence and hope, through all crises."
Elizabeth Zimmermann 1910-2000