[email protected]

Sandra wrote;

> Is it possible that he's needing more protein in his diet? Kirby and I both
>
> are quick to get headaches if we don't have protein and three meals a day
> are
> not enough. Between meal protein snacks are good preventative for the
> Kirby-grumpies, and even now that he's older, I try to remember to slip him
> a
> snack if there's a many-hours stretch from one meal to another.

Ok, here's what I've been thinking about since the most recent round of
discussion about letting kids make their own food, sleep, etc. choices.
There seems to be at least majority agreement that with babies and young
kids, we as parents follow their cues and take them to bed when they seem
sleepy and feed them when they seem hungry. But what's the transistion from
that to taking responsibility for themselves? This has become very
contentious for us. If Sam's grumpy and we suggest maybe he's hungry or
that he didn't eat anything very solid lately, he gets really mad. How (what
words, tones, etc.) do people talk to kids about paying attention to their
body signals, or their moods, or about nutrition in general?

I definitely know from my own experience that making certain foods taboo
backfires horribly. And yet I get influenced by all those research finding
about exercise and nutrition that the S.F. Chronicle has on the front page at
least once a week (because they want to hide the corporate scandals on the
third page). I also read "Fast Food Nation" recently and have been on the
rampage against foods containing added natural and artificial flavorings
because I hate the idea of our taste buds being manipulated by chemical
factories in New Jersey. Same with trans-fats. So I talk about this to my
kids (well, the older one) and explain why I don't want to buy this stuff.
So then of course I've wound up depriving them and then they do binge on the
M&Ms (peanut, so we can't blame the lack of protein!) that I bought because
after all that talk about M&Ms, even with diarrhea talk added, I wanted some!


I don't know. I feel confused. I really understand the point that
deprivation and labeling things "junk" can make all of us desire them more
and turn the joy of those things to guilt. I also think that some foods are
healthier for us than others. Should I ever communicate that to my kids?
Maybe I should say, have I totally blown it in having communicated that
belief to my kids, since I already have?

I never said anything to my oldest about nutrition until he was about six,
just bought my usual mix of lots of fresh and relatively unprocessed foods
along with sweets. I very distinctly remember going out to lunch with three
other families who had rules about eating so many bites of this before you
were done and sweets only on treat day and dessert after half the sandwich.
I had no rules. I bought him what he wanted. The cookie was next to the
pasta salad and whatever else there was. My friends all looked at their kids
balking at their lunches and looked at Sam and said, "Sam's the only one
eating without complaining."

I still don't have rules. But I fear I've done as much damage in talking
about this being less nutritious than that as my friends did in having all
those rules. How do others handle these kinds of issues?

Pam T.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 9/10/02 4:14 AM, warblwarbl@... at warblwarbl@... wrote:

> If Sam's grumpy and we suggest maybe he's hungry or
> that he didn't eat anything very solid lately, he gets really mad.

Perhaps it's sounding like you're saying you know him better than he does.
What about bringing out a treat without it being tied to his behavior. Then
at some later date when he's calm ask him about what he's feeling when he
acts grumpy. Tell him some people find a lack of protein or just hunger in
general makes them grumpy. Or what does he think might be causing it. Just
let him ponder that because it might *not* be a lack of protein causing it.

> But what's the transistion from
> that to taking responsibility for themselves?

If that's your semi-conscious goal, then you're probably sending that
message and he's going to feel pushed. Which will make him pull back if he's
not ready to go. Make him feel like you'll be there forever and he'll feel
secure pulling away when he's ready.

> I also think that some foods are
> healthier for us than others. Should I ever communicate that to my kids?

I would tell them in an informational way to help them understand why you
make the decisions *for yourself* that you do.

People are not dropping dead of trans-fatty acids or artifical colors. Or
maybe they are! ;-) but it isn't a sure thing like poison and it takes years
and years and years. A few bags of junk or even a few dozen bags isn't going
to kill them. If you let them make the choices they want while modeling the
behavior you feel is right for yourself, the message will be there loud and
clear.

Joyce

MO Milligans

At 04:14 AM 9/10/02 -0400, you wrote:

>I still don't have rules. But I fear I've done as much damage in talking
>about this being less nutritious than that as my friends did in having all
>those rules. How do others handle these kinds of issues?
>
>Pam T.
==
We also talk to our kids about what *we* think are unhealthy things to eat
(most sugar), and sometimes it's in the house, and sometimes not. For us,
them knowing that they have the choice to eat something or not works. YMMV.
Luckily for us, our kids don't really have a "sweet tooth" per se, but do
enjoy those things at times. Kind of the "everything in moderation" theory :-D

Todd

Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html