the lost post and long awaited answer
Mary Bianco
I found it!!!!!! Let's try again.
My son is rather an old soul and so very different from our other 3.
Much more complex. He just doesn't get keeping his hands to himself
with his sister. I also don't go with the never hit thing and have
explained that whole scenario. He gets that, he understands that it's
not nice to hit or even productive within the family. But when his
sister frustrates him, like I know she's good at doing, he just
smacks her without thinking. He knows he shouldn't, he admits to me
that he did it and why. I just can't seem to get him to come to me or
say something to her first. His first reaction is to pop her one. Now
it's not really bad.(meaning she's not really physically hurt) He doesn't
use anything but his hand and it's
not a punch or anything and she gets very dramatic when he does it.
The whole thing ends up a major deal on both parts. Whatever I've
been saying isn't getting it.
This doesn't happen every day but enough for me to worry why I can't
solve this. You can tell right away he's sorry he does it but just
doesn't think about it first. We've worked out together all kinds of
other ways for him to solve the problem but when the time comes, he
doesn't use any of them. These are the 2 that are 13 months apart.
They are almost 7 and 8. She's the younger one.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
My son is rather an old soul and so very different from our other 3.
Much more complex. He just doesn't get keeping his hands to himself
with his sister. I also don't go with the never hit thing and have
explained that whole scenario. He gets that, he understands that it's
not nice to hit or even productive within the family. But when his
sister frustrates him, like I know she's good at doing, he just
smacks her without thinking. He knows he shouldn't, he admits to me
that he did it and why. I just can't seem to get him to come to me or
say something to her first. His first reaction is to pop her one. Now
it's not really bad.(meaning she's not really physically hurt) He doesn't
use anything but his hand and it's
not a punch or anything and she gets very dramatic when he does it.
The whole thing ends up a major deal on both parts. Whatever I've
been saying isn't getting it.
This doesn't happen every day but enough for me to worry why I can't
solve this. You can tell right away he's sorry he does it but just
doesn't think about it first. We've worked out together all kinds of
other ways for him to solve the problem but when the time comes, he
doesn't use any of them. These are the 2 that are 13 months apart.
They are almost 7 and 8. She's the younger one.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
MO Milligans
At 06:15 PM 9/9/02 +0000, you wrote:
We used to have a problem with our DD pushing her younger brother whenever
he frustrated her. What *we* did was to give her a time-out, and then talk
to her about why it's not okay to push as a first reaction. Luckily for us,
she just hates time-outs, so after a few of those, she eventually learned
it wasn't okay. Or maybe it's an age thing? YMMV, of course :)
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>I also don't go with the never hit thing and have explained that whole==
>scenario. He gets that, he understands that it's not nice to hit or even
>productive within the family. But when his
>sister frustrates him, like I know she's good at doing, he just smacks her
>without thinking.
We used to have a problem with our DD pushing her younger brother whenever
he frustrated her. What *we* did was to give her a time-out, and then talk
to her about why it's not okay to push as a first reaction. Luckily for us,
she just hates time-outs, so after a few of those, she eventually learned
it wasn't okay. Or maybe it's an age thing? YMMV, of course :)
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
Mary Bianco
>From: MO Milligans <Ozarkren@...>Well that works with our Sierra because she doesn't really like time outs.
>We used to have a problem with our DD pushing her younger brother whenever
>he frustrated her. What *we* did was to give her a time-out, and then talk
>to her about why it's not okay to push as a first reaction. Luckily for us,
>she just hates time-outs, so after a few of those, she eventually learned
>it wasn't okay. Or maybe it's an age thing? YMMV, of course :)
Maybe that's why she doesn't hit like Joseph does. But Joseph actually time
outs himself. He likes and actually needs his time alone far more than any
of us in the family. So time outs don't work cause he likes that. So we
don't do time outs with him anymore. And to clarify again, our time outs are
not "go to your room" it's more like a "I know you must be upset maybe you
need some time to think about, etc"
So that's why I'm trying to find what does work for him to get the point. I
find that most of what works with the knowledge I have doesn't work with
Joseph. He challenges me in all ways!
Mary B (who doesn't think that's a bad thing at all)
_________________________________________________________________
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com