Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2349
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/2002 9:24:01 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
the computer running and it was some sort of online game called "Boob City"
or something like that. The game was something like Candyland -- only you
navigated all over the different screens that were filled with places like
"big breast mountains."
My sister and I kind of thought there was a bit of humor to it. And it was an
understandable interest, he had girlfriends by that time but hadn't been
going beyond holding hands and maybe an arm around. Definitely something on
his mind, though.
However, she still talked with him about the way the game portrayed women and
their body parts as objects and how he felt about that and so on....
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Whether aWhen my nephew was about 15, my sister got up in the morning and he'd left
> 12 yo should watch pornography is ultimately merely an exercise in argument
> beacuse the real issue is *why* a particular 12 yo is watching pornography.
the computer running and it was some sort of online game called "Boob City"
or something like that. The game was something like Candyland -- only you
navigated all over the different screens that were filled with places like
"big breast mountains."
My sister and I kind of thought there was a bit of humor to it. And it was an
understandable interest, he had girlfriends by that time but hadn't been
going beyond holding hands and maybe an arm around. Definitely something on
his mind, though.
However, she still talked with him about the way the game portrayed women and
their body parts as objects and how he felt about that and so on....
--pam
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/2002 9:24:01 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
The term "monitoring" has a tone to it that most unschooling parents would
not use, in my own experience. If someone asked me if I "monitored" my kids
eating, for example, I'd say no. But am I with them and aware of what they're
eating and do I fix them good nutritious foods and notice if they've eaten
junky food all day and are getting cranky maybe because of it and do I
introduce them to interesting new foods just for the fun of it and so on?
Yes. But I would never have thought to call all that: "monitoring their
food."
So - the use of the term may or may not mean anything about how the person
using it is really interacting with their kids -- but the fact that a bunch
of unschoolers responded to it in a certain way might encourage the original
user of the word to reconsider whether "monitoring" is really something they
want to be doing.
Heck, I still keep up with what my 18 yo is doing. If I don't hear from her
all day long - she's off with friends and stuff - I call her cell phone and
just say, "Hi -- how are you doing?" She's agreeable and happy to talk to me
-- "Hi, Mom -- we're down at the beach and so-and-so has his guitar and it is
beautiful down here." OR "I'm miserable and I hate my life and I have nothing
to do and soandso and I are just bored to tears." Or whatever -- (this is a
kid with big mood swings).
But if I thought of that as "monitoring" what she was doing, if that came
across to her, she'd be appalled - I don't think of it that way at all.
It might be useful to think about "monitoring" a teenager as something they'd
resent.
Take it as the point of view of the parent of two teens. "Monitoring" would
not go over well with my independent unschooled kids.
--pam
Not speaking officially for:
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> I'm really sorry if it feels like nit picking and not help. The thing isAnd sometimes it helps to have the kind of language you're using pointed out.
> sometimes people need to really think about what they are doing that
> might be prompting certain behaviors in their kids.
The term "monitoring" has a tone to it that most unschooling parents would
not use, in my own experience. If someone asked me if I "monitored" my kids
eating, for example, I'd say no. But am I with them and aware of what they're
eating and do I fix them good nutritious foods and notice if they've eaten
junky food all day and are getting cranky maybe because of it and do I
introduce them to interesting new foods just for the fun of it and so on?
Yes. But I would never have thought to call all that: "monitoring their
food."
So - the use of the term may or may not mean anything about how the person
using it is really interacting with their kids -- but the fact that a bunch
of unschoolers responded to it in a certain way might encourage the original
user of the word to reconsider whether "monitoring" is really something they
want to be doing.
Heck, I still keep up with what my 18 yo is doing. If I don't hear from her
all day long - she's off with friends and stuff - I call her cell phone and
just say, "Hi -- how are you doing?" She's agreeable and happy to talk to me
-- "Hi, Mom -- we're down at the beach and so-and-so has his guitar and it is
beautiful down here." OR "I'm miserable and I hate my life and I have nothing
to do and soandso and I are just bored to tears." Or whatever -- (this is a
kid with big mood swings).
But if I thought of that as "monitoring" what she was doing, if that came
across to her, she'd be appalled - I don't think of it that way at all.
It might be useful to think about "monitoring" a teenager as something they'd
resent.
Take it as the point of view of the parent of two teens. "Monitoring" would
not go over well with my independent unschooled kids.
--pam
Not speaking officially for:
The National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> navigated all over the different screens that were filled withHow 'bout those Grand Tetons!?
> places like
> "big breast mountains."
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 12:23:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< I think three is a really hard age. >>
The most challenging time I've had with my oldest child (who is now 14 1/2)
was when he was 3 1/2 to 4 1/2. He had so much energy and didn't know what
to do with it all. I used to think it was because I was pregnant with my
daughter, and then it was her first half year of life, so I didn't have as
much attention for him. I still think that was part of it, but not all.
My youngest one is now 3 1/2. He's adorable, energetic, imaginative - and
very challenging. My older son, who is normally *very* patient with his
younger brother, has even gotten irritated with him lately. Some days, it
seems like I'm the only one with any patience left for him - and I'm working
*really* hard at it <g>.
As far as what to do with 2 little ones? If you can - time one on one helps
- either getting someone to stay with one while you do things with the other
(and I know this isn't always possible - I'm lucky to have a mother who lives
an hour away), or maybe shifting bedtimes slightly so that you can do things
with one before the other one wakes up, and reversing in the evening. My
days with my 3 1/2 yo go much better if I set my alarm early and the two of
us spend time together before the others get up.
It's not an easy age, though, and no solution will be perfect.
Laura
[email protected] writes:
<< I think three is a really hard age. >>
The most challenging time I've had with my oldest child (who is now 14 1/2)
was when he was 3 1/2 to 4 1/2. He had so much energy and didn't know what
to do with it all. I used to think it was because I was pregnant with my
daughter, and then it was her first half year of life, so I didn't have as
much attention for him. I still think that was part of it, but not all.
My youngest one is now 3 1/2. He's adorable, energetic, imaginative - and
very challenging. My older son, who is normally *very* patient with his
younger brother, has even gotten irritated with him lately. Some days, it
seems like I'm the only one with any patience left for him - and I'm working
*really* hard at it <g>.
As far as what to do with 2 little ones? If you can - time one on one helps
- either getting someone to stay with one while you do things with the other
(and I know this isn't always possible - I'm lucky to have a mother who lives
an hour away), or maybe shifting bedtimes slightly so that you can do things
with one before the other one wakes up, and reversing in the evening. My
days with my 3 1/2 yo go much better if I set my alarm early and the two of
us spend time together before the others get up.
It's not an easy age, though, and no solution will be perfect.
Laura