Boys/Girls (was Re: Another Intro, while we're at it...)
Nora or Devereaux Cannon
| Why is it that a lot of people with boys raise them so much
differently than
| people with girls?
The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant.
differently than
| people with girls?
The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant.
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 7:14:11 AM, dcannon@... writes:
<< The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant. >>
I think that's the major reason.
Another related reason is that early sexual activity doesn't as often
traumatize boys as it does girls. Two of my adult male friends had sex at
12, each with a teenaged girl babysitter (in totally different towns, not the
same girl). They aren't ashamed of it nor seem to feel that they were ruined
or robbed. That didn't even involve them leaving the house! Their parents
PAID those girls to come over.
Sandra
<< The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant. >>
I think that's the major reason.
Another related reason is that early sexual activity doesn't as often
traumatize boys as it does girls. Two of my adult male friends had sex at
12, each with a teenaged girl babysitter (in totally different towns, not the
same girl). They aren't ashamed of it nor seem to feel that they were ruined
or robbed. That didn't even involve them leaving the house! Their parents
PAID those girls to come over.
Sandra
Shyrley
On 9 Sep 02, at 8:04, Nora or Devereaux Cannon wrote:
complete disaster, even if you do it at 13 or its an accident. If the
female chooses to keep the baby then it shouldn't be an
impediment to anything else she wants to do with her life. If she
wants to go to university there should be creches, child support etc
etc.
It shouldn't be an automatic sentence into poverty and single
parenthood.
There also still seems to be young people out there who still don't
know how to make choices, about how to avoid pregnancy. I
helped out at a youth advisory centre in the UK before I came here
and teenagers were still convinced you couldn't 'get pregnant' the
first time. Or if you didn't love the boy.
It was heart-breaking dealing with a pregnant 13 yo whose parents
disowned her because she was pregnant, knowing that the state
would judge her unfit when she gave birth and would probably take
her baby away.
Proper sex education may have helped, also empowering girls so
that they can either feel strong enough to say no, not going along
with their mates, and strong enough to use contraception. British
sex education in schools often doesn't happen till 15 and lasts
about half an hour. When I was in school we got shown a video of a
baby being born. That was it. No mention of where the baby came
from. Of course, we all knew, as we gained our education from
discussions with other 15 year olds....
Sigh
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
> | Why is it that a lot of people with boys raise them so muchI'd like to live in a world where 'getting pregnant' isn't seen as a
> differently than
> | people with girls?
>
> The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
> boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant.
>
>
complete disaster, even if you do it at 13 or its an accident. If the
female chooses to keep the baby then it shouldn't be an
impediment to anything else she wants to do with her life. If she
wants to go to university there should be creches, child support etc
etc.
It shouldn't be an automatic sentence into poverty and single
parenthood.
There also still seems to be young people out there who still don't
know how to make choices, about how to avoid pregnancy. I
helped out at a youth advisory centre in the UK before I came here
and teenagers were still convinced you couldn't 'get pregnant' the
first time. Or if you didn't love the boy.
It was heart-breaking dealing with a pregnant 13 yo whose parents
disowned her because she was pregnant, knowing that the state
would judge her unfit when she gave birth and would probably take
her baby away.
Proper sex education may have helped, also empowering girls so
that they can either feel strong enough to say no, not going along
with their mates, and strong enough to use contraception. British
sex education in schools often doesn't happen till 15 and lasts
about half an hour. When I was in school we got shown a video of a
baby being born. That was it. No mention of where the baby came
from. Of course, we all knew, as we gained our education from
discussions with other 15 year olds....
Sigh
Shyrley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you are all the same."
Mary Bianco
>From: "Nora or Devereaux Cannon" <dcannon@...>How sad but I think you are exactly right. I guess just nothing else like
>| Why is it that a lot of people with boys raise them so much
>differently than
>| people with girls?
>
>The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
>boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant.>>
disease and respect and all that goes with that is important to them for
their sons. Just like boys being promiscuous is considered cool and "boys
will be boys" but with girls they're just sluts.
Mary B
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Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@...Well how convenient that was wasn't it??!!!!! Plus too with the girls they
>Another related reason is that early sexual activity doesn't as often
>traumatize boys as it does girls. Two of my adult male friends had sex at
>12, each with a teenaged girl babysitter (in totally different towns, not
>the
>same girl). They aren't ashamed of it nor seem to feel that they were
>ruined
>or robbed. That didn't even involve them leaving the house! Their parents
>PAID those girls to come over.
get the whole emotional thing going.
Mary B
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[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 9:30:27 AM, mummyone24@... writes:
<< >The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
disease and respect and all that goes with that is important to them for
their sons. >>
That does not follow.
This seems to suggest that those of us who don't tuck our teenaged boys in
bed before 10:00 don't care about respect or disease. It doesn't follow at
all.
<<Just like boys being promiscuous is considered cool and "boys
will be boys" but with girls they're just sluts.>>
My boys are not promiscuous. They're not sexually active. They're not
dating. They do things with groups of kids, usually groups of all males, but
often with some subset of the six homeschooling teenaged girls who are part
of their social lives too.
Sandra
<< >The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
>boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant.>><<How sad but I think you are exactly right. I guess just nothing else like
disease and respect and all that goes with that is important to them for
their sons. >>
That does not follow.
This seems to suggest that those of us who don't tuck our teenaged boys in
bed before 10:00 don't care about respect or disease. It doesn't follow at
all.
<<Just like boys being promiscuous is considered cool and "boys
will be boys" but with girls they're just sluts.>>
My boys are not promiscuous. They're not sexually active. They're not
dating. They do things with groups of kids, usually groups of all males, but
often with some subset of the six homeschooling teenaged girls who are part
of their social lives too.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@...This was a response to what someone else said from my first general thought
>This seems to suggest that those of us who don't tuck our teenaged boys in
>bed before 10:00 don't care about respect or disease. It doesn't follow at
>all.
>My boys are not promiscuous. They're not sexually active. They're not
>dating. They do things with groups of kids, usually groups of all males,
>but
>often with some subset of the six homeschooling teenaged girls who are part
>of their social lives too.
on boys I knew of that weren't homeschooled. You were the one in fact that
said stick to unschooling kids and not kids in general. I just agreed with
what someone else posted. No one ever said anything about anybody's boys
here on the list or anyone else that was homeschooled. Are you missing posts
Sandra?
Mary B
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Gerard Westenberg
<< The short, simple answer isn't terribly pretty, but I think it
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant. >>
lol! I guess this does come into it..We have boys and I often wonder how our family and parenting may be different because of having all boys rather than girls or a mix. Is there a difference? Do we treat them differently than we would if they were girls? I really am not sure..Leonie W.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
boils down to this - boys don't get pregnant. >>
lol! I guess this does come into it..We have boys and I often wonder how our family and parenting may be different because of having all boys rather than girls or a mix. Is there a difference? Do we treat them differently than we would if they were girls? I really am not sure..Leonie W.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
MO Milligans
At 08:13 AM 9/10/02 +0930, you wrote:
Ours are only 9 and 6 (almost 10 & 7 <g>) - we have one of each, and *so
far* we haven't treated them differently. Course that could change in those
teenage years, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it :)
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>Is there a difference? Do we treat them differently than we would if they==
>were girls? I really am not sure..Leonie W.
Ours are only 9 and 6 (almost 10 & 7 <g>) - we have one of each, and *so
far* we haven't treated them differently. Course that could change in those
teenage years, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it :)
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html