whose business is what
[email protected]
-=-It's none of anyone else's business what they do
with their kids -=-
::looking around::
I'm in my house. My boys are home. Kirby's in the library with five boys
all older than he is. They're playing a WWF card game. Marty is shooting
baskets in the back by himself. Holly has gone to a neighbor's house,
another homeschooling family four blocks away. When I dropped her off at
6:57 I said "Call when you want a ride!"
She said, "I'll try to call before 10:00 this time."
I said, "Okay, but if it's after 10:00 I'll come and get you anyway. Have
fun!"
Is it anyone's business here what my kids are doing and what I think about it?
Yes. Because it's a list to discuss unschooling, and we're unschooling, and
I'm sharing my life with other unschoolers so they can see how it can work.
I'm not the only one. Lots of families are doing the same thing.
Some families volunteer at church, or with scouts, or political parties, or
whatever. Lots of families volunteer to run homeschooling support groups, or
to put on conferences, or put out newsletters for homeschoolers, or whatever
it is. Some families are active helping other ways.
There are 900 people on this list. Lots are on "no mail," meaning they go to
the website and read the archives sometimes. My husband has ALL his
yahoogroups set to no mail, but he reads them almost every day.
I met someone this weekend I had never heard of, but she reads this list and
another one I'm on and could talk all about it, but she doesn't post.
If someone wants what they do to be none of our business, that's EASY! They
don't volunteer what they do!
If someone DOES post what they do, what they think about it, and why, and
what they think about people who don't do it that way, then they have invited
other readers to comment. And if they can't defend what they're doing, they
might want to consider doing it differently. If someone asks me why I think
what I think, I tell them why. Anytime I can't, I start thinking carefully
about what it is and why. I'm always willing to consider better ideas. My
beliefs have changed over my lifetime lots of times, about all kinds of
things, because I've looked over other people's shoulders and they were
generous enough to tell me what they were doing and why.
If it weren't for La Leche League volunteers, I would not have the
relationship with my kids I have today. If it weren't for other moms going
to meetings even when they were already good with nursing and didn't much
need the help, I wouldn't have had as many excellent mothering examples.
If it weren't for people organizing and maintaining an Adult Children of
Alcoholics meeting in the mid and late 1980's, and if it hadn't been for a
couple of friends pressing me to check it out, and one DRIVING me there the
first many times, because my leg was in a cast, I would still be acting out
frustrating nonsense related to my mom's drinking. I would still be trying
to save, maintain and accidently enable her.
They allowed what they believed and did to be part of my business.
People are free to share here or not.
People are not required to say "Oh, cool!" about things they believe are not
cool.
Sandra
with their kids -=-
::looking around::
I'm in my house. My boys are home. Kirby's in the library with five boys
all older than he is. They're playing a WWF card game. Marty is shooting
baskets in the back by himself. Holly has gone to a neighbor's house,
another homeschooling family four blocks away. When I dropped her off at
6:57 I said "Call when you want a ride!"
She said, "I'll try to call before 10:00 this time."
I said, "Okay, but if it's after 10:00 I'll come and get you anyway. Have
fun!"
Is it anyone's business here what my kids are doing and what I think about it?
Yes. Because it's a list to discuss unschooling, and we're unschooling, and
I'm sharing my life with other unschoolers so they can see how it can work.
I'm not the only one. Lots of families are doing the same thing.
Some families volunteer at church, or with scouts, or political parties, or
whatever. Lots of families volunteer to run homeschooling support groups, or
to put on conferences, or put out newsletters for homeschoolers, or whatever
it is. Some families are active helping other ways.
There are 900 people on this list. Lots are on "no mail," meaning they go to
the website and read the archives sometimes. My husband has ALL his
yahoogroups set to no mail, but he reads them almost every day.
I met someone this weekend I had never heard of, but she reads this list and
another one I'm on and could talk all about it, but she doesn't post.
If someone wants what they do to be none of our business, that's EASY! They
don't volunteer what they do!
If someone DOES post what they do, what they think about it, and why, and
what they think about people who don't do it that way, then they have invited
other readers to comment. And if they can't defend what they're doing, they
might want to consider doing it differently. If someone asks me why I think
what I think, I tell them why. Anytime I can't, I start thinking carefully
about what it is and why. I'm always willing to consider better ideas. My
beliefs have changed over my lifetime lots of times, about all kinds of
things, because I've looked over other people's shoulders and they were
generous enough to tell me what they were doing and why.
If it weren't for La Leche League volunteers, I would not have the
relationship with my kids I have today. If it weren't for other moms going
to meetings even when they were already good with nursing and didn't much
need the help, I wouldn't have had as many excellent mothering examples.
If it weren't for people organizing and maintaining an Adult Children of
Alcoholics meeting in the mid and late 1980's, and if it hadn't been for a
couple of friends pressing me to check it out, and one DRIVING me there the
first many times, because my leg was in a cast, I would still be acting out
frustrating nonsense related to my mom's drinking. I would still be trying
to save, maintain and accidently enable her.
They allowed what they believed and did to be part of my business.
People are free to share here or not.
People are not required to say "Oh, cool!" about things they believe are not
cool.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@...You're right, but at the same time, you have to consider that your (meaning
>-=-It's none of anyone else's business what they do
>with their kids -=-
>
>Yes. Because it's a list to discuss unschooling, and we're unschooling,
>and
>I'm sharing my life with other unschoolers so they can see how it can work.
>I'm not the only one. Lots of families are doing the same thing.
>People are free to share here or not.
>People are not required to say "Oh, cool!" about things they believe are
>not
>cool.
anyone on this list)way of unschooling is different from others and that
doesn't make your (again anyone's) way the only right way. And when someone
doesn't ask for advice, it's not fair for someone to give it or make rude
comments about it or attack it. Now at the same time, when someone has a
question or problem or asks about how and why people do things, that's a
legitimate "open discussion time." If someone else thinks there is a better
way for someone to approach something when they haven't asked for help,
there's just more courteous ways of asking instead of showing them how wrong
they are. There's been a lot of that going on here. For people who are
suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally, I see just the opposite
here at times.
I've been very careful to say "in my family" or "what works for us" and
"some people" and "some of what I see" etc. so I don't step on toes just out
of respect. Others here have not done that and I don't think, in very simple
terms that it's nice.
And I know many read, I just think more would post if they weren't afraid of
being put on trial. We all need to have discussions to question why we do
what we do, it helps us all to evaluate what we do and maybe change it also.
But pointing fingers as soon as someone makes a comment that others don't
like is silly. Can't one just ask without making the person feel like
Hitler?
And this whole bedtime/porno/cursing post has got everyone so worked up, I
can't get an honest answer to a problem I was hoping for some solutions to.
Kama Sutra has taken priority.
Mary B
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[email protected]
In a message dated 9/8/02 11:39:43 PM, mummyone24@... writes:
<< You're right, but at the same time, you have to consider that your
(meaning
anyone on this list)way of unschooling is different from others and that
doesn't make your (again anyone's) way the only right way. >>
There are some irritating sayings going around these years. One is "all
ideas are equally valid," and that's nonsense. And another is "There are as
many ways to unschool as there are unschoolers" and that's no more true than
the other.
Just because there's more than one truth doesn't mean there's no such thing
as bullshit. There ARE things that run counter to unschooling. Nobody has
the only right way, but there ARE wrong ways.
<<And when someone doesn't ask for advice, it's not fair for someone to give
it or make rude comments about it or attack it.>>
What was the thing nobody asked about?
<<For people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally...">>
I don't understand what is intended by this.
<<And this whole bedtime/porno/cursing post has got everyone so worked up, I
can't get an honest answer to a problem I was hoping for some solutions to.
Kama Sutra has taken priority.>>
We can discuss 18 things at once here. You don't have to wait for one topic
to settle to start another one.
Sandra
<< You're right, but at the same time, you have to consider that your
(meaning
anyone on this list)way of unschooling is different from others and that
doesn't make your (again anyone's) way the only right way. >>
There are some irritating sayings going around these years. One is "all
ideas are equally valid," and that's nonsense. And another is "There are as
many ways to unschool as there are unschoolers" and that's no more true than
the other.
Just because there's more than one truth doesn't mean there's no such thing
as bullshit. There ARE things that run counter to unschooling. Nobody has
the only right way, but there ARE wrong ways.
<<And when someone doesn't ask for advice, it's not fair for someone to give
it or make rude comments about it or attack it.>>
What was the thing nobody asked about?
<<For people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally...">>
I don't understand what is intended by this.
<<And this whole bedtime/porno/cursing post has got everyone so worked up, I
can't get an honest answer to a problem I was hoping for some solutions to.
Kama Sutra has taken priority.>>
We can discuss 18 things at once here. You don't have to wait for one topic
to settle to start another one.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 12:39:43 AM Central Daylight Time,
mummyone24@... writes:
beans kidney beans. We are all homeschooling, and unschooling is
homeschooling, but that doesn't mean that all homeschooling is unschooling.
not rude to make comments about what someone has posted. The main reason
someone posts here is for discussion.
and "some people" and "some of what I see" etc. It is what we all mean, but
don't write. Its kinda like the implied "you" in English class. I remember
doing countless drills with sentences pointing out the implied "you." (Go to
the store. "implied you" Please bring me that toilet-paper. "implied you" )
It isn't stepping on toes or being rude. It isn't disrespectful.
while and know others posting styles, it isn't nice to dissect peoples
posting styles. Some here don't use their spell checker. I can't stand that.
But you don't see me raging around saying "that's not nice" or "no fair" I
wouldn't do that, cause I misspell tons, and would hate to have someone point
out my spelling mistakes that I didn't catch. Or to turn it around, I have
horrible grammatical skills. You wouldn't know it to hear me speak, I do that
very well. But to read what I write, you might think I am some illiterate
bumpkin. <g>
Most are on *no mail* and read posts at random. Many do post, when the topics
roll around to something they are interested in. And on that vein, the topics
do roll around. <g> Much like this topic of finger pointing, we discuss this
one about once every 4 to 6 weeks or so.
<g>
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mummyone24@... writes:
> You're right, but at the same time, you have to consider that your (meaningGreen beans and Kidney beans are both beans, but that doesn't make green
> anyone on this list)way of unschooling is different from others and that
> doesn't make your (again anyone's) way the only right way.
beans kidney beans. We are all homeschooling, and unschooling is
homeschooling, but that doesn't mean that all homeschooling is unschooling.
>And when someoneWhen someone posts here, that is "open discussion time." It is fair, and its
>doesn't ask for advice, it's not fair for someone to give it or make rude
>comments about it or attack it. Now at the same time, when someone has a
>question or problem or asks about how and why people do things, that's a
>legitimate "open discussion time."
not rude to make comments about what someone has posted. The main reason
someone posts here is for discussion.
>If someone else thinks there is a betterFrom now on, just read the *implied* "in my family" or "what works for us"
>way for someone to approach something when they haven't asked for help,
>there's just more courteous ways of asking instead of showing them how wrong
>they are. There's been a lot of that going on here. For people who are
>suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally, I see just the opposite
>here at times.
>I've been very careful to say "in my family" or "what works for us" and
>"some people" and "some of what I see" etc. so I don't step on toes just out
>of respect.
and "some people" and "some of what I see" etc. It is what we all mean, but
don't write. Its kinda like the implied "you" in English class. I remember
doing countless drills with sentences pointing out the implied "you." (Go to
the store. "implied you" Please bring me that toilet-paper. "implied you" )
It isn't stepping on toes or being rude. It isn't disrespectful.
>Others here have not done that and I don't think, in very simpleI don't know what to say to this, except for, unless you have been here for a
>terms that it's nice.
while and know others posting styles, it isn't nice to dissect peoples
posting styles. Some here don't use their spell checker. I can't stand that.
But you don't see me raging around saying "that's not nice" or "no fair" I
wouldn't do that, cause I misspell tons, and would hate to have someone point
out my spelling mistakes that I didn't catch. Or to turn it around, I have
horrible grammatical skills. You wouldn't know it to hear me speak, I do that
very well. But to read what I write, you might think I am some illiterate
bumpkin. <g>
>And I know many read, I just think more would post if they weren't afraid ofNo, most don't post because of time constraints, or family or whatever else.
>being put on trial. We all need to have discussions to question why we do
>what we do, it helps us all to evaluate what we do and maybe change it also.
>But pointing fingers as soon as someone makes a comment that others don't
>like is silly. Can't one just ask without making the person feel like
>Hitler?
Most are on *no mail* and read posts at random. Many do post, when the topics
roll around to something they are interested in. And on that vein, the topics
do roll around. <g> Much like this topic of finger pointing, we discuss this
one about once every 4 to 6 weeks or so.
>And this whole bedtime/porno/cursing post has got everyone so worked up, IWe can talk about more than one thing here. Really, we can.
>can't get an honest answer to a problem I was hoping for some solutions to.
>Kama Sutra has taken priority.
>Mary B
<g>
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@.... There ARE things that run counter to unschooling. Nobody has
>the only right way, but there ARE wrong ways.Totally agree.
<<And when someone doesn't ask for advice, it's not fair for someone to give
>it or make rude comments about it or attack it.>>Well in the past few days, there have been quite a few things said just as
>
>What was the thing nobody asked about?
in "this is what I do" that some people have had a field day with. If
someone says that they don't allow certain programs to be watched by their
kids, then if anyone has a problem with that, I would think the reasonable
thing to do is ask "Why?" not tell them that they are wrong. When I say I
won't let my baby eat a whole bag of MM's when we're talking about saying
no, I don't expect to have to go through the whole diarrhea thing to justify
myself because someone tells me I don't "know" what I'm really saying. A
simple "have you let her do that" would have solved the whole thing in one
post. Those are just two examples.
<<For people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone
equally...">>
>Meaning that from how you all sound so respectful of your children's
>I don't understand what is intended by this.>>
feelings and thoughts, some seem not so courteous when it comes to some
people on this list.
>Well I know I posted about a problem I would have loved to have any answer
>We can discuss 18 things at once here. You don't have to wait for one
>topic
>to settle to start another one.
to at all and got none. I also saw another woman post about having time
enough for each child and as far as I saw, I was the only one that responded
to that one too.
Mary B
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[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 9:12:31 AM, mummyone24@... writes:
<< Meaning that from how you all sound so respectful of your children's
feelings and thoughts, some seem not so courteous when it comes to some
people on this list. >>
If my children say things which are not right or good, I challenge them to
explain WHY they're thinking what they're thinking. If they can't, they drop
it and adopt something else to claim or believe.
Other people have made arguments like that in the past too, that we should
treat all people on e-mail lists as we treat our children, and I don't see
how it follows. If my neighbor gets drunk and is playing in my back yard, I
will tell him to go home. If a guest comes in, invited, and starts going
through all the cabinets, I'll ask him what he's looking for. I wouldn't ask
my child that.
And the word "equally" is what made me wonder what was intended: "<<For
people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally...">>
I treat each child as is appropriate to that child's preferences and needs
and situation. "Equally" is rarely the consideration. More money is spent
on Holly, more talking with Kirby than Marty, Marty is more likely to help
with yard work because he kinda likes it, etc. I touch Marty more than I
touch Kirby; he hugs me spontaneously, still. Kirby's not a touchy/feely guy.
Sandra
<< Meaning that from how you all sound so respectful of your children's
feelings and thoughts, some seem not so courteous when it comes to some
people on this list. >>
If my children say things which are not right or good, I challenge them to
explain WHY they're thinking what they're thinking. If they can't, they drop
it and adopt something else to claim or believe.
Other people have made arguments like that in the past too, that we should
treat all people on e-mail lists as we treat our children, and I don't see
how it follows. If my neighbor gets drunk and is playing in my back yard, I
will tell him to go home. If a guest comes in, invited, and starts going
through all the cabinets, I'll ask him what he's looking for. I wouldn't ask
my child that.
And the word "equally" is what made me wonder what was intended: "<<For
people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally...">>
I treat each child as is appropriate to that child's preferences and needs
and situation. "Equally" is rarely the consideration. More money is spent
on Holly, more talking with Kirby than Marty, Marty is more likely to help
with yard work because he kinda likes it, etc. I touch Marty more than I
touch Kirby; he hugs me spontaneously, still. Kirby's not a touchy/feely guy.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
>From: Dnowens@...<<We are all homeschooling, and unschooling is
homeschooling, but that doesn't mean that all homeschooling is
unschooling.>>
Okay, agreed but no one said that all homeschooling was unschooling.
<<When someone posts here, that is "open discussion time." It is fair, and
its
not rude to make comments about what someone has posted. The main reason
someone posts here is for discussion.>>
But there have been people here who have actually said that someone was
being rude. Those first words weren't mine.
<<From now on, just read the *implied* "in my family" or "what works for us"
>and "some people" and "some of what I see" etc. It is what we all mean, butAgain not everyone thinks that way or seems like they consider that when
>don't write..
responding.
<<I don't know what to say to this, except for, unless you have been here
for a
>while and know others posting styles, it isn't nice to dissect peoplesExactly!!!!!
>posting styles. Some here don't use their spell checker. I can't stand
>that.
>But you don't see me raging around saying "that's not nice" or "no fair" I
>wouldn't do that, cause I misspell tons, and would hate to have someone
>point
>out my spelling mistakes that I didn't catch.
<<No, most don't post because of time constraints, or family or whatever
else.
Most are on *no mail* and read posts at random. Many do post, when the
topics
roll around to something they are interested in.>>
Okay so maybe most covers all you have just spoke of but there are some out
there,just can't say how many who are rather afraid to get anything started
because they just can't handle the outcome. I know some may say then they
shouldn't be on the list and some have left because of that but I thought
maybe trying to help them feel comfortable would be a good thing to do.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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Fetteroll
on 9/9/02 11:11 AM, Mary Bianco at mummyone24@... wrote:
reasonable suggestion. But in truth how others help isn't in our power to
control. And people *are* trying to be helpful.
As PamS says so much better, telling people how they should post never -- in
all the years I've been on line -- leads to anything postive.
(and it's multiple subtopics) is occupying the list. Not just this list. All
lists. As Pam did, it's helpful to wait a bit and repost.
But perhaps people just don't know.
Or perhaps they didn't understand your question. Or you didn't understand
their answers. Or your question got lost in the larger discussion.
Try posting your question again.
Joyce
> I would think the reasonableThis and similar suggestions on how people should post recur. It seems a
> thing to do is ask "Why?" not tell them that they are wrong.
reasonable suggestion. But in truth how others help isn't in our power to
control. And people *are* trying to be helpful.
As PamS says so much better, telling people how they should post never -- in
all the years I've been on line -- leads to anything postive.
> Well I know I posted about a problem I would have loved to have any answerNone? As in no responses? Posts on new topics often get lost when one topic
> to at all and got none.
(and it's multiple subtopics) is occupying the list. Not just this list. All
lists. As Pam did, it's helpful to wait a bit and repost.
But perhaps people just don't know.
Or perhaps they didn't understand your question. Or you didn't understand
their answers. Or your question got lost in the larger discussion.
Try posting your question again.
Joyce
Mary Bianco
>From: SandraDodd@...<<And the word "equally" is what made me wonder what was intended: "<<For
>people who are suppose to be so aware of treating everyone equally...">>I find it very hard to believe that you actually thought I meant that I wold
chose to or expect everyone else to treat everyone equally in every respect
of the word. (There we go with those words again!) For God's sake I have 4
children!!
If I'm in the grocery store and someone says I better get out of their way,
I'll make sure I know how they mean that before I respond. Someone may just
be joking with me or just be having a really bad day. Either way, I'll try
to find out first before I laugh it off or ask them if they're always this
cranky.
Mary B
_________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 10:23:01 AM, mummyone24@... writes:
<< I find it very hard to believe that you actually thought I meant that I
wold
chose to or expect everyone else to treat everyone equally in every respect
of the word. >>
When people post at www.unschooling.com, or here, or anywhere, I don't treat
equally those who are saying "We tried this and it seemed almost to work, but
I'm still worried" and those who come in and say "Well in OUR family WE care
whether our children get into college, so we can't leave reading to chance."
One is sincerely wanting input and discussion. The other is there for
self-aggrandizement and to put down those of us who "just leave reading to
chance," and don't care whether our children get into college.
Equality is not the goal when discussing philosophy. Ideas and their
refinement are te purposes of philosophical discussions.
Sandra
<< I find it very hard to believe that you actually thought I meant that I
wold
chose to or expect everyone else to treat everyone equally in every respect
of the word. >>
When people post at www.unschooling.com, or here, or anywhere, I don't treat
equally those who are saying "We tried this and it seemed almost to work, but
I'm still worried" and those who come in and say "Well in OUR family WE care
whether our children get into college, so we can't leave reading to chance."
One is sincerely wanting input and discussion. The other is there for
self-aggrandizement and to put down those of us who "just leave reading to
chance," and don't care whether our children get into college.
Equality is not the goal when discussing philosophy. Ideas and their
refinement are te purposes of philosophical discussions.
Sandra
Betsy
**
As PamS says so much better, telling people how they should post never
-- in
all the years I've been on line -- leads to anything postive.**
In the case when people absolutely can't resist commenting on someone's
posting style, please, I'm begging, actually quote something. Find the
words that sounded rude or overgeneral to you.
There's absolutely no way to get deeper and clarify tone and meaning if
the provocative bits aren't quoted.
Vagueness and paraphrasing just lead to hand-waving and eye-rolling.
Possibly followed by "did not" -- "did so". <g>
Betsy
As PamS says so much better, telling people how they should post never
-- in
all the years I've been on line -- leads to anything postive.**
In the case when people absolutely can't resist commenting on someone's
posting style, please, I'm begging, actually quote something. Find the
words that sounded rude or overgeneral to you.
There's absolutely no way to get deeper and clarify tone and meaning if
the provocative bits aren't quoted.
Vagueness and paraphrasing just lead to hand-waving and eye-rolling.
Possibly followed by "did not" -- "did so". <g>
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/9/02 11:21:19 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< But there have been people here who have actually said that someone was
being rude. Those first words weren't mine. >>
I called someone rude.
Rude for calling someone else obtuse, because it was rude.
Rude for saying "you don't even pay attention to your kids" because it wasn't
true, not even a little bit.
But I shouldn't have replied the way I did, and Joyce kindly reminded me to
take a deep breath, which is exactly what I did for a night....lots of them.
I don't think it's rude to tell people what we do, or to question parent's
that are saying things that in the light of unschoooling, need to be
questioned.
I do think it's rude to accuse them of ignoring their kids when it's obvious
no one is advocating that. Or to call them names.
But hopefully there will be a calmer discussion now, and an ability to get on
the same page with definitions.
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< But there have been people here who have actually said that someone was
being rude. Those first words weren't mine. >>
I called someone rude.
Rude for calling someone else obtuse, because it was rude.
Rude for saying "you don't even pay attention to your kids" because it wasn't
true, not even a little bit.
But I shouldn't have replied the way I did, and Joyce kindly reminded me to
take a deep breath, which is exactly what I did for a night....lots of them.
I don't think it's rude to tell people what we do, or to question parent's
that are saying things that in the light of unschoooling, need to be
questioned.
I do think it's rude to accuse them of ignoring their kids when it's obvious
no one is advocating that. Or to call them names.
But hopefully there will be a calmer discussion now, and an ability to get on
the same page with definitions.
Ren
Fetteroll
on 9/9/02 12:21 PM, Mary Bianco at mummyone24@... wrote:
additional clues to what people's words might mean. Here all we have is
words and a few internet typing conventions to convey our meaning.
In real life we're right there and can have an exchange in a few seconds
about whether someone really meant what they said.
On an email list that would get mighty awkward! *Everyone* who felt
compelled to respond to a post would have to double check first to make sure
the person really meant what they posted? And then they'd have to wait hours
or maybe until the next day to get a response so they could answer? And all
those extra emails on a list that's already too busy for many people?
It works a *whole* lot smoother if everyone does their best to say what they
mean the first time.
The words we choose -- in email especially -- are important. It's all
someone else has to go on.
Joyce
> I find it very hard to believe that you actually thought I meant that I wold--<snip>--
> chose to or expect everyone else to treat everyone equally in every respect
> of the word.
> Either way, I'll tryIn real life we have tone and body language and environment to give us
> to find out first before I laugh it off or ask them if they're always this
> cranky.
additional clues to what people's words might mean. Here all we have is
words and a few internet typing conventions to convey our meaning.
In real life we're right there and can have an exchange in a few seconds
about whether someone really meant what they said.
On an email list that would get mighty awkward! *Everyone* who felt
compelled to respond to a post would have to double check first to make sure
the person really meant what they posted? And then they'd have to wait hours
or maybe until the next day to get a response so they could answer? And all
those extra emails on a list that's already too busy for many people?
It works a *whole* lot smoother if everyone does their best to say what they
mean the first time.
The words we choose -- in email especially -- are important. It's all
someone else has to go on.
Joyce
Fetteroll
on 9/9/02 11:42 AM, Mary Bianco at mummyone24@... wrote:
strange place that looks better is a very uncomfortable thing to do. Some
people can let go and travel along the path in comfort. But most people want
to cling to what makes them comfortable while they're trying something new.
If they want to get unschooling they can't stay stuck. Though we can
acknowledge that wanting to cling is a natural feeling and offer sympathy,
supporting where they're stuck as an okay place so they can feel comfortable
makes the discussion not about unschooling but about some path that maybe
could lead to unschooling.
Joyce
> but I thoughtIt would be a very nice thing to do. But moving from a place of comfort to a
> maybe trying to help them feel comfortable would be a good thing to do.
strange place that looks better is a very uncomfortable thing to do. Some
people can let go and travel along the path in comfort. But most people want
to cling to what makes them comfortable while they're trying something new.
If they want to get unschooling they can't stay stuck. Though we can
acknowledge that wanting to cling is a natural feeling and offer sympathy,
supporting where they're stuck as an okay place so they can feel comfortable
makes the discussion not about unschooling but about some path that maybe
could lead to unschooling.
Joyce
MO Milligans
At 11:47 AM 9/9/02 -0700, you wrote:
Just *had* to comment on this. <g> And looky here, I also quoted something.
<g> Okay, so it's early, and my coffee is starting to kick-in. LOL. Anyway,
good suggestion :-D
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>In the case when people absolutely can't resist commenting on someone's==
>posting style, please, I'm begging, actually quote something. Find the
>words that sounded rude or overgeneral to you. -Betsy
Just *had* to comment on this. <g> And looky here, I also quoted something.
<g> Okay, so it's early, and my coffee is starting to kick-in. LOL. Anyway,
good suggestion :-D
Todd
Our HOME page
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html