Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] saying yes
Alan & Brenda Leonard
on 9/6/02 17:01, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
always bought things and then stashed them until a holiday. But if the
toy/tool/whatever was important in October, it might not be in December.
She had that problem several times with us as kids.
It also makes the holidays more fun. Christmas becomes about the religious
part, which is important to us, and about giving to other people. We make
gifts, when possible, which is a lot of fun for us. Birthdays become a
celebration of family and/or friends, having fun together and being the
center of attention. We still give gifts, but on a much, much smaller
scale. It's not for everybody, perhaps, but we like it.
brenda
[email protected] wrote:
> I even am tired of saying this. I put so many things off untilI usually buy things as we go. First, it helps with the budgetting. My Mom
> Christmas/birthday that it ends up making the expectations of those days too
> great.
always bought things and then stashed them until a holiday. But if the
toy/tool/whatever was important in October, it might not be in December.
She had that problem several times with us as kids.
It also makes the holidays more fun. Christmas becomes about the religious
part, which is important to us, and about giving to other people. We make
gifts, when possible, which is a lot of fun for us. Birthdays become a
celebration of family and/or friends, having fun together and being the
center of attention. We still give gifts, but on a much, much smaller
scale. It's not for everybody, perhaps, but we like it.
brenda
Betsy
**Its pretty funny to watch my kids' faces when I do things like that
because they don't expect it, I think
they are still used to my earlier 'saying no' parenting. Sometimes
they just stand there and look at me
blankly, and then they get this huge grin. Its priceless. **
Yeah! We had a good example here, last night, about how being sweet to
kids makes them sweeter, not rotten.
My son and I had had a pretty horrible day, with lots of driving in the
storm. It was so awful and getting so close to sunset that I kept
putting off and putting off the stop at McDonald's I had promised him.
Any way, we had had some stress about food during the day, and I
explained and apologized, but didn't give my son what he wanted. (at
that time)
At 9:55pm, as I turned off Buffy and was getting ready to go to bed, my
son told me he was hungry. Fortunately he wanted something simple, soup
from a can. Unfortunately some of the carrots exploded in the microwave
and when he saw the soup he said it looked yucky. We brainstormed a bit
about him eating the soup in the dark or with his eyes closed so he
couldn't judge it by its appearance, but that didn't seem feasible.
(Danger of hot soup spills.) I put extra effort into the problem
solving because I had our discussions here in mind. I ended up spoon
feeding him while he kept his eyes shut. (Moms who are opposed to
"indulgence" might as well let out a shriek and stop reading right here.)
We had a really nice time. My son really appreciated that I solved his
problem without huffing. By about the fourth spoonful he said "thanks,
mom" and by the eighth, or so, "I love you." He only ate about 12
spoonfuls; it wasn't a big drain on my time. At bedtime he was still
feeling appreciative and said "You're the best mama a boy could have."
Now those who feel that deprivation builds character are free to sniff
at this story. But it works for me.
And I want to take a minute to say "thanks" to the "best email list a
girl could have." I wouldn't have done it without you.
Betsy
because they don't expect it, I think
they are still used to my earlier 'saying no' parenting. Sometimes
they just stand there and look at me
blankly, and then they get this huge grin. Its priceless. **
Yeah! We had a good example here, last night, about how being sweet to
kids makes them sweeter, not rotten.
My son and I had had a pretty horrible day, with lots of driving in the
storm. It was so awful and getting so close to sunset that I kept
putting off and putting off the stop at McDonald's I had promised him.
Any way, we had had some stress about food during the day, and I
explained and apologized, but didn't give my son what he wanted. (at
that time)
At 9:55pm, as I turned off Buffy and was getting ready to go to bed, my
son told me he was hungry. Fortunately he wanted something simple, soup
from a can. Unfortunately some of the carrots exploded in the microwave
and when he saw the soup he said it looked yucky. We brainstormed a bit
about him eating the soup in the dark or with his eyes closed so he
couldn't judge it by its appearance, but that didn't seem feasible.
(Danger of hot soup spills.) I put extra effort into the problem
solving because I had our discussions here in mind. I ended up spoon
feeding him while he kept his eyes shut. (Moms who are opposed to
"indulgence" might as well let out a shriek and stop reading right here.)
We had a really nice time. My son really appreciated that I solved his
problem without huffing. By about the fourth spoonful he said "thanks,
mom" and by the eighth, or so, "I love you." He only ate about 12
spoonfuls; it wasn't a big drain on my time. At bedtime he was still
feeling appreciative and said "You're the best mama a boy could have."
Now those who feel that deprivation builds character are free to sniff
at this story. But it works for me.
And I want to take a minute to say "thanks" to the "best email list a
girl could have." I wouldn't have done it without you.
Betsy
mary krzyzanowski
Ever notice that when you say yes, you end up smiling and so does your
child. When you say no, you end up sad looking and so does your child.
Mary-NY
The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail
child. When you say no, you end up sad looking and so does your child.
Mary-NY
>From: Kelli Traaseth <kellitraas@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom]saying yes
>Date: Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:56:53 -0800 (PST)
>
>
>**That mom was just as excited as he was about his very very fun,
>appetizing,
>and special morning making pancakes?
>Elissa**
>
>
>
>Its pretty funny to watch my kids' faces when I do things like that because
>they don't expect it, I think they are still used to my earlier 'saying
>no' parenting. Sometimes they just stand there and look at me blankly,
>and then they get this huge grin. Its priceless.
>
>
>
>It happened just yesterday with the rides at the mall, pre-unschooling
>time when we would walk by the rides I would be the parent saying no, we
>don't need to do that, yesterday Kyra, 5dd, her little face was so
>excited when she saw them and she asked to ride the horse. I'm thinking,
>a big 25 cents, sure you can. I swear I saw her clean out her ears!<g>
> I can't believe that I would even think any other way.
>
>
>
>Kelli
>
>learning these new words--yes, sure, you bet,
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Earthmomma67@... wrote:In a message dated 12/15/02 12:27:51 PM
>Eastern Standard Time,
>grlynbl@... writes:
>
> > ).. What would
> > JP have learned if I had said.. "OK".. jumped up and ran downstairs
> > and made the pancakes right away like he asked?
>
>That mom was just as excited as he was about his very very fun, appetizing,
>and special morning making pancakes?
>Elissa
>
>
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