Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2314
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/1/2002 12:56:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
run their lives all seriously though? I mean - in practice - do they follow
up and get pissed off when you do not take their advice?
In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and others giving a LOT
of unsolicited advice. But they don't follow up on it -- they just love
giving it and it truly IS a way of being attached and showing concern and
love and caring and community. You can smile and accept it as a nice gift
without worrying that they're going to hold you to it later. And - sometimes
it is good advice (probably more often than most dil's take it). <G>
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> Eep! Yes, in my circle of in-laws nagging and emphatically tellingDo they really expect you to take all the nagging and telling people how to
> people how they should run their lives is considered an expression of
> affection. They really don't understand my response since it pisses me
> off mightily.
>
run their lives all seriously though? I mean - in practice - do they follow
up and get pissed off when you do not take their advice?
In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and others giving a LOT
of unsolicited advice. But they don't follow up on it -- they just love
giving it and it truly IS a way of being attached and showing concern and
love and caring and community. You can smile and accept it as a nice gift
without worrying that they're going to hold you to it later. And - sometimes
it is good advice (probably more often than most dil's take it). <G>
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/1/2002 12:56:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
on.... Just pick your troop and troop leader carefully because the leader
has a lot of autonomy and can promote things that aren't at all part of the
GS program officially.
Better yet, be the leader yourself, get other more like-minded girls/families
involved (that'll happen by attrition if you run it your way).
If you have Campfire Boys and Girls near you - that is co-ed and I know
homeschoolers that really like it. Does a lot of girl scout type stuff.
Remember to read the program YOURSELF and that you can do ANYTHING that is
within program guidelines -- you do NOT have to do it the traditional way.
We had a troop for a few years that had girls from 5 to 15 years old all in
one troop. We met once a month, all day and occasionally for weekend outings.
Most troops meet weekly or every other week, for an hour or two and mostly
have all girls the same ages. We've had lots of good times and lots of good
learning -- but we've backed off in recent years just because the kids are
less interested in those kinds of groups of girls activities. We're starting
up with 4-H, though, to see how that goes.
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> A few people have told me that she wont fit in to girl scouts cosWe've always been involved with girl scouts - we're nonChristians and so
> she isn't a christian, has long wild hair, is a Tom-boy, wears
> combat trousers and hippy clothes and wont say the pledge of
> allegiance.
on.... Just pick your troop and troop leader carefully because the leader
has a lot of autonomy and can promote things that aren't at all part of the
GS program officially.
Better yet, be the leader yourself, get other more like-minded girls/families
involved (that'll happen by attrition if you run it your way).
If you have Campfire Boys and Girls near you - that is co-ed and I know
homeschoolers that really like it. Does a lot of girl scout type stuff.
Remember to read the program YOURSELF and that you can do ANYTHING that is
within program guidelines -- you do NOT have to do it the traditional way.
We had a troop for a few years that had girls from 5 to 15 years old all in
one troop. We met once a month, all day and occasionally for weekend outings.
Most troops meet weekly or every other week, for an hour or two and mostly
have all girls the same ages. We've had lots of good times and lots of good
learning -- but we've backed off in recent years just because the kids are
less interested in those kinds of groups of girls activities. We're starting
up with 4-H, though, to see how that goes.
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nora or Devereaux Cannon
I know that a lot of my M-i-L/D-i-L chat has been nothing more
than small talk about matters of common interest. I care very
much how she raises my grandsons - but have no reason to believe
she will ever blindly follow consensus parenting or act to do
them harm purposely. It is a fine line, though. I bit my tongue
when she and our uncircumcised son decided to have the first boy
cut. I gave them the reasons we had decided against it, but
walked away. By the time boy 2 came along, D-i-L thinks I am th
efont of all parenting advice, poor thing.
than small talk about matters of common interest. I care very
much how she raises my grandsons - but have no reason to believe
she will ever blindly follow consensus parenting or act to do
them harm purposely. It is a fine line, though. I bit my tongue
when she and our uncircumcised son decided to have the first boy
cut. I gave them the reasons we had decided against it, but
walked away. By the time boy 2 came along, D-i-L thinks I am th
efont of all parenting advice, poor thing.
----- Original Message -----
From: <PSoroosh@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, September 01, 2002 4:06 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2314
| In a message dated 9/1/2002 12:56:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
| [email protected] writes:
|
|
| > Eep! Yes, in my circle of in-laws nagging and emphatically
telling
| > people how they should run their lives is considered an
expression of
| > affection. They really don't understand my response since it
pisses me
| > off mightily.
| >
|
| Do they really expect you to take all the nagging and telling
people how to
| run their lives all seriously though? I mean - in practice - do
they follow
| up and get pissed off when you do not take their advice?
|
| In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and
others giving a LOT
| of unsolicited advice.
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/1/02 4:06:22 PM Central Daylight Time, PSoroosh@...
writes:
your husband Iranian? (or from somewhere else in the Middle East?) I only ask
because of your last name, and that when I was a kid, we lived there in the
70's. We lived in Tehran for a few years and then south of there, for about
18 months, in Esfahan.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and others giving aPam, this is just me being nosy, but I have wondered for a while now... Is
> LOT
> of unsolicited advice. But they don't follow up on it -- they just love
> giving it and it truly IS a way of being attached and showing concern and
> love and caring and community. You can smile and accept it as a nice gift
> without worrying that they're going to hold you to it later. And -
> sometimes
> it is good advice (probably more often than most dil's take it). <G>
>
> --pam
>
your husband Iranian? (or from somewhere else in the Middle East?) I only ask
because of your last name, and that when I was a kid, we lived there in the
70's. We lived in Tehran for a few years and then south of there, for about
18 months, in Esfahan.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
** Do they really expect you to take all the nagging and telling people
how to
run their lives all seriously though? I mean - in practice - do they
follow
up and get pissed off when you do not take their advice?
In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and others giving
a LOT
of unsolicited advice. But they don't follow up on it -- they just love
giving it and it truly IS a way of being attached and showing concern
and
love and caring and community. You can smile and accept it as a nice
gift
without worrying that they're going to hold you to it later. And -
sometimes
it is good advice (probably more often than most dil's take it). <G>**
I'm trying to see the decent motive underneath. My cultural preference
(Californian?) would be that they lean back, exhale a little, and say
something mild like "what about if you did blank?"
The style of advice I get is a lot more agitated than that and sounds
like dictating to me. (They don't literally shake their fingers in my
face but the words "you should" are heard over and over and they are
quite loud and emphatic.)
I probably need to understand that they don't have the power to MAKE do
anything, no matter how loud they say it. I have a hard time being
undefensive when it feels like they are attacking. I need either more
deep breathing, or maybe tranquilizers. <g>
I really want everyone to agree with me and find disagreement pretty disagreeable.
Betsy
how to
run their lives all seriously though? I mean - in practice - do they
follow
up and get pissed off when you do not take their advice?
In my husband's culture this is pretty common - mil's and others giving
a LOT
of unsolicited advice. But they don't follow up on it -- they just love
giving it and it truly IS a way of being attached and showing concern
and
love and caring and community. You can smile and accept it as a nice
gift
without worrying that they're going to hold you to it later. And -
sometimes
it is good advice (probably more often than most dil's take it). <G>**
I'm trying to see the decent motive underneath. My cultural preference
(Californian?) would be that they lean back, exhale a little, and say
something mild like "what about if you did blank?"
The style of advice I get is a lot more agitated than that and sounds
like dictating to me. (They don't literally shake their fingers in my
face but the words "you should" are heard over and over and they are
quite loud and emphatic.)
I probably need to understand that they don't have the power to MAKE do
anything, no matter how loud they say it. I have a hard time being
undefensive when it feels like they are attacking. I need either more
deep breathing, or maybe tranquilizers. <g>
I really want everyone to agree with me and find disagreement pretty disagreeable.
Betsy