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In a message dated 8/28/02 10:24:52 PM Central Daylight Time, sheran@...
writes:


> I know a lady who was talking to me about how she felt when she sent
> her girls to kindergarten. She hated it. She wished she didn't have
> to. But she just didn't know there was another way. She might have
> vaguely heard of homeschooling, but didn't know anyone who ever did
> it. Compulsory age in our state is 8, but NO ONE, other than
> homeschoolers, really knows that. Everyone just assumes that when
> kids turn 5 they HAVE to go to kindergarten. As far as most people
> are concerned their only choice is whether or not to send their kids
> to pre-K. <snip> Yes, I do believe I've made a superior choice. That
doesn't mean
> that I'm superior to other people, it just means that in this one
> life decision, I think I've made the better choice. If I didn't
> think it was a better choice, I wouldn't bother--I'd just send my
> kids to school!
>
> Sheila

My bestfriend, Penny, and I try to get together a few times a month to
scrapbook and let the kids play. Two weekends ago we were discussing her dd,
Alex, starting school the following Monday. I asked if Alex was ready, and
her reply was of course she is ready! She was ready last year, but since her
birthday falls later in September, she had to wait a year. She continued to
say that if Alex had been born just a few weeks earlier, she would have sent
her last year. I stepped off the cliff and informed her that Alex really
didn't *have* to go until she was 7, and there are opinions that delayed
schooling was good for children. I went on about reading readiness and other
things when she stopped me and said Alex was/is ready to read now. I made the
comment that it wasn't all that bad to delay reading until a child was older
and she stated that if a child read at a later date, the child would have
problems later in life. I offered that I doubted she could tell if a child at
16 had learned to read at 5 or 6 or if said child hadn't learned to read at
9, 10, or even 12. (she looked at me blankly and shrugged) I offered to loan
her my Holt or Gatto books. (I really think her kids would love to homeschool
and have told her so in the past.) She just can't get past the
have-to-go-to-school-at-5 attitude. Both Alex and her little brother have
been in daycare (if you can call it that, they were in my home) since birth
or preschool since the age of 3. She will never accept that what I do is
natural or right. She firmly believes the choice she has made (along with the
masses) is the superior choice. She never misses a chance to tell me all the
things Moly and Jack have missed out on by not going to school. She can't
accept that Jack's one year of school was enough.

I was devastated the first day of school last year. And almost everyday after
that was a battle in my head and heart. I stayed in Jack's class that first
day until the teacher finally told the parents (who were there) it was time
to go. I was always on of the last to drop my child off every morning, and
one of the first to pick him up. I told that to Penny the other day and she
said, Yeah, there were parents at the school like that. She stated it didn't
have any effect on her to leave her daughter off at school, in fact it
excited her that the venture had *finally* started. I asked Alex the other
day how she was liking school (with warning looks from Penny) all I got was a
dull *fine* I asked whether or not she liked riding the bus and Alex shrugged
and said it was *okay, but very loud* later I told Penny I didn't think Alex
was liking school as much as she would have me believe. This is what she said
to me, *Alex likes school just fine, just because she isn't as excited about
it doesn't mean anything. School isn't new to Alex, she has been going since
she was 3 and I shouldn't read anything into her lackluster replies.* All I
could say was it is too bad for Alex that Penny feels that way.

My point in this long post? I know that the decision I have made is the only
right and true way. I don't want my children to have *lackluster* lives.
Penny OTOH firmly believes that her choice is the only right way. She knows
the choices I have made will come back to *bite me in the ass* someday. She
thinks my homeschooling the kids is weird, she knows they will never learn
anything if I don't use a curriculum. The day I told her (years ago) that I
didn't plan on sending either of my kids to school she told me this. "Nancy,
I know you, and I know you won't be able to pull this off. You better get a
damn good curriculum and force yourself to stick to it or your kids will
suffer the consequences!" When I try to talk to her about homeschooling (I
don't know why I do, other than I love her kids like my own.) she puts up a
wall, she sees it as me criticizing her. So although we all know
homeschooling/unschooling is the right choice, we will always know people who
know that going to school is the right choice.
~Nancy


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