[email protected]

In a message dated 8/26/02 8:29:56 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< . How have some of you dealt with this sort of thing? >>

I have a Grandmother that won't let up. My Mom was so supportive and
wonderful, but her mother just doesn't get it.
And now I have to deal with it head on because she offered to pay for
tutoring for my children and I refused it. Graciously, kindly, thanking her
for the offer and letting her know the kids were doing great just now but
we'd keep it in mind.
Well, that wasn't good enough. She started in on "you need to think about
when they are trying to get jobs or into college" and "please think about
this from their point of view" (DUH!) and some other BS!
So I finally could no longer avoid the explanation of unschooling. I
explained why/how I felt they were doing better for being able to learn
naturally. It totally freaks her out.
The bottom line is that it is no one elses business how you educate your
child.
Unless there is obvious abuse they need to shut up.
Problem is, we are abusing our kids in their minds. We are robbing them of
future success and happiness...they seriously don't understand.
So I decided to print off some stuff that I wrote, Sandra, Joyce and others
wrote, some posts from unschooling.com, some articles from various unschooler
websites and mail it to her.
I am going to include a letter asking her to please educate herself and I
will be happy to discuss it all with her.
If she's unwilling to do that I will demand (yes, demand) that unschooling
will be a taboo topic with us.
If she brings it up again I am going to tell her that I don't wish to discuss
anything related to homeschooling with her....ever.
That's just how it has to be. It's ruining my relationship with her (not
that I have a great one anyway, we have nothing in common) and I won't let
clueless people stress me out.
I love her, but there isn't a single topic that we can discuss without
disagreement.
She's a fairly shallow person, her whole life revolves around her religion
and her husband.She has NO outside interests, passions or groups.
Sweet but controlling lady.

So offer your Mom the chance to educate herself on the topic, but make it off
limits if she won't. That's just my advice.

Ren

saka30080

Thanks for your advice. I can identify with the having nothing in
common thing. My husband definately did not marry someone just like
his mother (a source of irritation for her). As far as I can tell
her interests are shopping and shopping and religion, superficially.
Part of my problem is that I haven't been prepared when she starts
questioning me. My instinct is to tell her to just look at her son
if she wants to know why I'm unschooling. But I don't want to hurt
her or be combative. I will be prepared next time thanks to the
support here and closer to home (Hi Beth).

Cherry in GA


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., starsuncloud@c... wrote:
> In a message dated 8/26/02 8:29:56 AM Central Daylight Time,
> Unschooling-dotcom@y... writes:
>
> << . How have some of you dealt with this sort of thing? >>
>
> I have a Grandmother that won't let up. My Mom was so supportive
and
> wonderful, but her mother just doesn't get it.
> And now I have to deal with it head on because she offered to pay
for
> tutoring for my children and I refused it. Graciously, kindly,
thanking her
> for the offer and letting her know the kids were doing great just
now but
> we'd keep it in mind.
> Well, that wasn't good enough. She started in on "you need to think
about
> when they are trying to get jobs or into college" and "please think
about
> this from their point of view" (DUH!) and some other BS!
> So I finally could no longer avoid the explanation of unschooling.
I
> explained why/how I felt they were doing better for being able to
learn
> naturally. It totally freaks her out.
> The bottom line is that it is no one elses business how you educate
your
> child.
> Unless there is obvious abuse they need to shut up.
> Problem is, we are abusing our kids in their minds. We are robbing
them of
> future success and happiness...they seriously don't understand.
> So I decided to print off some stuff that I wrote, Sandra, Joyce
and others
> wrote, some posts from unschooling.com, some articles from various
unschooler
> websites and mail it to her.
> I am going to include a letter asking her to please educate herself
and I
> will be happy to discuss it all with her.
> If she's unwilling to do that I will demand (yes, demand) that
unschooling
> will be a taboo topic with us.
> If she brings it up again I am going to tell her that I don't wish
to discuss
> anything related to homeschooling with her....ever.
> That's just how it has to be. It's ruining my relationship with
her (not
> that I have a great one anyway, we have nothing in common) and I
won't let
> clueless people stress me out.
> I love her, but there isn't a single topic that we can discuss
without
> disagreement.
> She's a fairly shallow person, her whole life revolves around her
religion
> and her husband.She has NO outside interests, passions or groups.
> Sweet but controlling lady.
>
> So offer your Mom the chance to educate herself on the topic, but
make it off
> limits if she won't. That's just my advice.
>
> Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/26/02 8:31:29 AM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<< And now I have to deal with it head on because she offered to pay for
tutoring for my children and I refused it. >>

Could you channel that offer toward memberships at museums, aquariums, zoos,
science center?

Sandra