MELODY L GOFF

Hi ~

This discussion on "quitting" has forced me out of lurkdom.

I used to worry quite a bit about the issue of quitting...after all, I
didn't want to raise a "QUITTER" did? I really think all that mind-set (at
least in my case) was just left-over garbage that I was told as a child.

When I really got serious and thought about the whole quitting-issue I
realized that I quit things all the time. If I don't allow my kids the
freedom to try things (and YES! quit them too) I am depriving them of
tasting life. They aren't going to be willing to try too many things if I
insist that they "finish" everything they start. How do you determine when
they are "finished" anyway? When my oldest daughter wanted to play the
violin we allowed her to do that but prior to starting she had to agree to a
specified time frame. We had to rent the violin for a set period of time so,
economically speaking, it made sense to us that she should take the lessons
for at least that long.

The long and short of it, to me, is that I want my kids to try a variety of
things and I don't want them to think of themselves as quitters just because
they try something and they don't care for it. Who knows, at some point
they may go back to the things that they have "quit" and pursue them some
more. How would I classify/label them then? As "beginning-quitters?" LOL

I am finding more and more that so many of the little sayings I heard as a
child are nothing more then garbage and myths passed down from generation to
generation. I think a LOT of good can be passed down, but I also think it is
important to question those things we hear ourselves telling our kids (as if
we were on auto-pilot) and to really think them through. Ask yourself, "do I
really believe that, or is just something I have heard all my life?"

Hope I have made some kind of sense in my ramblings! I'll try not to be so
"wordy" next time I crawl out of lurkdom!

Learning to think for myself,

Melody in WA

Campbell & Wyman

Melody...this was wonderful. I have come to the same conclusions as you
regarding the 'trying' of new things and the decision to stop whe you are
ready.
I have seen so many burnt out kids lately (school kids all) who are doing
two instruments, four sports and on and on. When you ask them if they want
to do all this ...they shrug. I think that sometimes kids get a message
from their parents that love is equated with performance.

I did Royal Conservatory for years and was so burnt out by the time that
I hit 15 that I closed the piano and did not open it for years. I think
there is real merit to trying new things and being able, at some point, to
decide that it is time for a break. Perhaps to come back again...perhaps to
try something new.
I lived with so much guilt when I was a child about "completing"
everything. It still haunts me. I try very hard to listen to my children
because of this.
Brooke


>Hi ~
>
>This discussion on "quitting" has forced me out of lurkdom.
>
>I used to worry quite a bit about the issue of quitting...after all, I
>didn't want to raise a "QUITTER" did? I really think all that mind-set (at
>least in my case) was just left-over garbage that I was told as a child.
>
>When I really got serious and thought about the whole quitting-issue I
>realized that I quit things all the time. If I don't allow my kids the
>freedom to try things (and YES! quit them too) I am depriving them of
>tasting life. They aren't going to be willing to try too many things if I
>insist that they "finish" everything they start. How do you determine when
>they are "finished" anyway? When my oldest daughter wanted to play the
>violin we allowed her to do that but prior to starting she had to agree to a
>specified time frame. We had to rent the violin for a set period of time so,
>economically speaking, it made sense to us that she should take the lessons
>for at least that long.
>
>The long and short of it, to me, is that I want my kids to try a variety of
>things and I don't want them to think of themselves as quitters just because
>they try something and they don't care for it. Who knows, at some point
>they may go back to the things that they have "quit" and pursue them some
>more. How would I classify/label them then? As "beginning-quitters?" LOL
>
>I am finding more and more that so many of the little sayings I heard as a
>child are nothing more then garbage and myths passed down from generation to
>generation. I think a LOT of good can be passed down, but I also think it is
>important to question those things we hear ourselves telling our kids (as if
>we were on auto-pilot) and to really think them through. Ask yourself, "do I
>really believe that, or is just something I have heard all my life?"
>
>Hope I have made some kind of sense in my ramblings! I'll try not to be so
>"wordy" next time I crawl out of lurkdom!
>
>Learning to think for myself,
>
>Melody in WA
>

brynlee@...

John O. Andersen

Melody,


> When I really got serious and thought about the whole quitting-issue I
> realized that I quit things all the time. If I don't allow my kids the
> freedom to try things (and YES! quit them too) I am depriving them of
> tasting life.

Quitting has been an important part of my life as well. It has helped me to
make huge steps in the direction my heart has been telling me to go for
years.

John Andersen

MELODY L GOFF

John,

Thanks for the words of affirmation! I have to say that I love your
articles... I read them KNOWING that I am going to come away with something
new to chew on.

BTW, what is your policy for printing your articles? As in, printing to
save in a notebook or to pass on to a friend? Would like to be able to do
this with your permission, of course!

Thanks for all your well thought out missives.

Melody G

John O. Andersen

Melody,

> BTW, what is your policy for printing your articles? As in, printing to
> save in a notebook or to pass on to a friend? Would like to be able to do
> this with your permission, of course!

No real policy; just include my e-mail and/or website addresses on any
copies so that readers can contact me if they so desire.

John Andersen

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/5/99 9:11:10 AM Eastern Standard Time,
GOFFFAM@... writes:

<< Thanks for the words of affirmation! I have to say that I love your
articles... I read them KNOWING that I am going to come away with something
new to chew on.

BTW, what is your policy for printing your articles? As in, printing to
save in a notebook or to pass on to a friend? Would like to be able to do
this with your permission, of course!

Thanks for all your well thought out missives. >>

I second that.I am still in the process of reading them, I did print them
out to read offline, hope that's ok. I can only stand to sit at this computer
so long.
I would like to share some of my own thoughts on these subjects with you
from time to time, are you interested? I don't want to go through this list
as it's probably too far off subject. Let me know. I totally relate to e-mail
spurring on writing!

Laura

John O. Andersen

Laura,

> I would like to share some of my own thoughts on these subjects with
you
> from time to time, are you interested?

Yes, I'm always interested in feedback either pro or con.

John

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/5/99 5:07:24 PM Eastern Standard Time,
andersen@... writes:

<< Yes, I'm always interested in feedback either pro or >>

Well I'm happy to say mine are pro. More later.

Laura