weight
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Some of this is strong, but I live with a man who was damaged by attitudes
about some of the matters below.
In a message dated 8/20/02 1:09:20 AM, AlmondJoy721@... writes:
<< I talked with him about all the variations in weight
that could occur in any given day but it did not seem to make him feel any
better. I have also talked to him about food choices which is ultimately up
to him. >>
If your messages to him are that it's his fault he's "overweight" you are NOT
helping. Averages and charts have to do with a range of normal and "Normal"
falls outside of the average (which is then CALLED normal, in mathematical
terms).
My husband has been "overweight" by any chart since he was an infant. His
mother is in her 80's and he is 46 and she STILL blames him, and me, and
maybe sometimes herself instead of EVER having just accepted in 46 years that
he's just bigger than average and that he's exactly as he should be for
himself.
Did ANY of her continual crap ever help one bit!???
Well it kept him from loving her as he might have if she had accepted him as
right instead of as wrong and flawed.
It kept her from loving him as she might have if she hadn't seen a chart
first and then overlaid her own son on that chart and defined him as fat.
No, it harmed them both and for life.
If he runs because running is fun, great! He might or might not become a
thinner human.
If he runs to lose weight and it doesn't work, he'll just quit running, and
will resent those who press him to do so for any purpose other than that the
running is enjoyable.
How much does he have to be harmed before you quit blaming Eminem and start
accepting him as a whole human?
Sandra
about some of the matters below.
In a message dated 8/20/02 1:09:20 AM, AlmondJoy721@... writes:
<< I talked with him about all the variations in weight
that could occur in any given day but it did not seem to make him feel any
better. I have also talked to him about food choices which is ultimately up
to him. >>
If your messages to him are that it's his fault he's "overweight" you are NOT
helping. Averages and charts have to do with a range of normal and "Normal"
falls outside of the average (which is then CALLED normal, in mathematical
terms).
My husband has been "overweight" by any chart since he was an infant. His
mother is in her 80's and he is 46 and she STILL blames him, and me, and
maybe sometimes herself instead of EVER having just accepted in 46 years that
he's just bigger than average and that he's exactly as he should be for
himself.
Did ANY of her continual crap ever help one bit!???
Well it kept him from loving her as he might have if she had accepted him as
right instead of as wrong and flawed.
It kept her from loving him as she might have if she hadn't seen a chart
first and then overlaid her own son on that chart and defined him as fat.
No, it harmed them both and for life.
If he runs because running is fun, great! He might or might not become a
thinner human.
If he runs to lose weight and it doesn't work, he'll just quit running, and
will resent those who press him to do so for any purpose other than that the
running is enjoyable.
How much does he have to be harmed before you quit blaming Eminem and start
accepting him as a whole human?
Sandra
Leslie Avery
If the only thing you can see in a person is the fact
they are overweight I would say the issue is the
person seeing and not the one being seen. I have
struggled with weight all of my life, and am
constantly hearing those family tapes from my mother
in my head playing every time I put something other
than a carrot in my mouth. I got to tell you the best
answer is if you are overweight learn to love yourself
where you are and if someone you know is overweight
love them also where they are. My sister is a size 8
I am a size 16, I am more content in my body than she
is in hers. I say UNDIET.
Did you ever notice how our society is all about
numbers, grades, test scores, money, age, weight.
Something to think about.
Leslie
--- SandraDodd@... wrote:
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HotJobs - Search Thousands of New Jobs
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they are overweight I would say the issue is the
person seeing and not the one being seen. I have
struggled with weight all of my life, and am
constantly hearing those family tapes from my mother
in my head playing every time I put something other
than a carrot in my mouth. I got to tell you the best
answer is if you are overweight learn to love yourself
where you are and if someone you know is overweight
love them also where they are. My sister is a size 8
I am a size 16, I am more content in my body than she
is in hers. I say UNDIET.
Did you ever notice how our society is all about
numbers, grades, test scores, money, age, weight.
Something to think about.
Leslie
--- SandraDodd@... wrote:
> Some of this is strong, but I live with a man who__________________________________________________
> was damaged by attitudes
> about some of the matters below.
>
>
> In a message dated 8/20/02 1:09:20 AM,
> AlmondJoy721@... writes:
>
> << I talked with him about all the variations in
> weight
> that could occur in any given day but it did not
> seem to make him feel any
> better. I have also talked to him about food
> choices which is ultimately up
> to him. >>
>
> If your messages to him are that it's his fault he's
> "overweight" you are NOT
> helping. Averages and charts have to do with a range
> of normal and "Normal"
> falls outside of the average (which is then CALLED
> normal, in mathematical
> terms).
>
> My husband has been "overweight" by any chart since
> he was an infant. His
> mother is in her 80's and he is 46 and she STILL
> blames him, and me, and
> maybe sometimes herself instead of EVER having just
> accepted in 46 years that
> he's just bigger than average and that he's exactly
> as he should be for
> himself.
>
> Did ANY of her continual crap ever help one bit!???
>
>
> Well it kept him from loving her as he might have if
> she had accepted him as
> right instead of as wrong and flawed.
>
> It kept her from loving him as she might have if she
> hadn't seen a chart
> first and then overlaid her own son on that chart
> and defined him as fat.
>
> No, it harmed them both and for life.
>
> If he runs because running is fun, great! He might
> or might not become a
> thinner human.
>
> If he runs to lose weight and it doesn't work, he'll
> just quit running, and
> will resent those who press him to do so for any
> purpose other than that the
> running is enjoyable.
>
> How much does he have to be harmed before you quit
> blaming Eminem and start
> accepting him as a whole human?
>
> Sandra
>
Do You Yahoo!?
HotJobs - Search Thousands of New Jobs
http://www.hotjobs.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/20/02 1:11:59 PM, SandraDodd@... writes:
<< How much does he have to be harmed before you quit blaming Eminem and
start
accepting him as a whole human?
Sandra >>
Wow, I am not sure how you got this impression. My twelve year old has an
older brother who is now tall and thin and in very good shape from being so
dedicated to cross country running. I am sure he compares himself to him and
I point out that he is wearing the some of the same clothes his brother wore
at his age and was the same size and try to tell him he has nothing to worry
about. He is obssessed with his weight and I keep trying to tell him he is
just fine.
I don't blame Eminem for anything. I just wondered how far to go with the
subject matter for learning. Is there an appropriate age for certain things?
I always had the idea there was... Comparing some of the strong sexual
content in some, not all, Eminem songs to pornography does not seem far
fetched to me. Should I now allow him free access to that as well? I am not
being sarcastic here. My original question was do I draw a line and if so
where? Maybe it is the right time for a large sexual discussion with my son
since he seems to be so unabashed in that vein.
I cannot help but worry sometimes. I do accept my son the way he is and want
to do the best I can in raising him. I am frightened about his buying into a
world where body is seen as object with a subsequent loss of humanity.
Jess
<< How much does he have to be harmed before you quit blaming Eminem and
start
accepting him as a whole human?
Sandra >>
Wow, I am not sure how you got this impression. My twelve year old has an
older brother who is now tall and thin and in very good shape from being so
dedicated to cross country running. I am sure he compares himself to him and
I point out that he is wearing the some of the same clothes his brother wore
at his age and was the same size and try to tell him he has nothing to worry
about. He is obssessed with his weight and I keep trying to tell him he is
just fine.
I don't blame Eminem for anything. I just wondered how far to go with the
subject matter for learning. Is there an appropriate age for certain things?
I always had the idea there was... Comparing some of the strong sexual
content in some, not all, Eminem songs to pornography does not seem far
fetched to me. Should I now allow him free access to that as well? I am not
being sarcastic here. My original question was do I draw a line and if so
where? Maybe it is the right time for a large sexual discussion with my son
since he seems to be so unabashed in that vein.
I cannot help but worry sometimes. I do accept my son the way he is and want
to do the best I can in raising him. I am frightened about his buying into a
world where body is seen as object with a subsequent loss of humanity.
Jess
Lisa M. C. Bentley
> If the only thing you can see in a person is the factOh, I agree. However... There is the health issue of carrying a lot
> they are overweight I would say the issue is the
> person seeing and not the one being seen. I have
> struggled with weight all of my life, and am
> constantly hearing those family tapes from my mother
> in my head playing every time I put something other
> than a carrot in my mouth. I got to tell you the best
> answer is if you are overweight learn to love yourself
> where you are and if someone you know is overweight
> love them also where they are. My sister is a size 8
> I am a size 16, I am more content in my body than she
> is in hers. I say UNDIET.
more weight than a particular body should be carrying. This amount
varies from person to person, but in general most people have health
issues if they are 20+ pounds over their healthy body weight range. I
view it as one of my responsibilites as a parent to model healthy eating
and exercising habits. We are neglecting our children if we "allow"
them to get 100 pounds overweight by eating Ho-Hos all day long. I am
not implying that any of you are doing this, but I do see it often.
The mother that said her son was "overweight" never said how much
overweight he was. Maybe it is just who he is, and maybe he has a real
health problem. If the later, it would be easier for him to start
addressing a healthy lifestyle as a young man, rather than have a heart
attack at age 30! I don't know his particulars, of course, but we can't
live in ignorance of obesity.
I truly believe that a lot of women can be 100% healthy at size 16. I
was one of them for a while. However, when I got into the size 20+s, I
was NOT healthy. My body ached and wouldn't let me do anything fun. It
was a wake up call for me and I looked at what I was showing my children
by being unhealthy, overweight (for me), and not able to run around and
play with them. I was not being a good role model. I started eating
healthier (and less quantity) and exercising more and I've lost 80ish
pounds. I am proud of what that is showing my girls and they've learned
a lot about nutrition along the way. It is not good to obsess, it is
not good to be overweight, it is not good to be underweight. This, my
girls learned while watching me take care of myself.
Definitely be happy with who you are, but always strive to be the best
you can be (physically, emotionally, and intellectually, just to name a
few ways). It isn't about a number on a scale or a size of jeans, it is
about the quality of life our bodies are letting us have. For me, I
needed to get rid of excess fat in order to up my quality of life.
-Lisa
stfrances12
It isn't about a number on a scale or a size of jeans, it is
go to reach a (realistic) goal I've set for myself. I have had these
70 extra pounds on for 15 years (and six kids!). I know everyone
still loved me but I felt the physical and emotional baggage of my
excess weight. I tried everything and stumbled (divine intervention?)
upon a Catholic spiritually weight loss program--Light Weigh.
I go tonight to be fitted for clogging shoes and begin clogging
classes in a few weeks. I am so excited to be doing something that I
loved years ago and couldn't do with the weight on. We also leave in
2 days for a week of camping/hiking in Colorado. I am elated to know
I'll be able to handle the physical activity.
So, I echo Lisa's sentiments . . . For ME, I needed to get rid of
excess fat in order to up MY quality of life.
Suzy
> about the quality of life our bodies are letting us have. For me, IAbsolutely! It's taken me a year to loose 55 lbs. I have 15 more to
> needed to get rid of excess fat in order to up my quality of life.
>
> -Lisa
go to reach a (realistic) goal I've set for myself. I have had these
70 extra pounds on for 15 years (and six kids!). I know everyone
still loved me but I felt the physical and emotional baggage of my
excess weight. I tried everything and stumbled (divine intervention?)
upon a Catholic spiritually weight loss program--Light Weigh.
I go tonight to be fitted for clogging shoes and begin clogging
classes in a few weeks. I am so excited to be doing something that I
loved years ago and couldn't do with the weight on. We also leave in
2 days for a week of camping/hiking in Colorado. I am elated to know
I'll be able to handle the physical activity.
So, I echo Lisa's sentiments . . . For ME, I needed to get rid of
excess fat in order to up MY quality of life.
Suzy