[email protected]

In a message dated 8/14/2002 1:20:15 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:


> Kim,
>
> That is a touching post. It is indeed sad that what comes in the language
> of
> liberation, is instead the intent to control. I have experienced the same
> myself.
>
> Stay cool.
>
> Bob
>

Bob,
I don't think anyone knows how I am struggling...... I cry almost
daily.......I get depressed......I'm overloaded!

Kim


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 8/15/02 10:42 AM, lurningathome@... at lurningathome@... wrote:

> I don't think anyone knows how I am struggling...... I cry almost
> daily.......I get depressed......I'm overloaded!

Oh, sweetie, there are recovery groups so you don't have to go it alone!
(Ignore me if you've already founnd or looked into support.) It will help
not having to shoulder all this guilt yourself. And they won't be full of
people who have soured on Christianity. I do know people who have held onto
their Christianity while dropping the fundamentalism.

Here's some things that turned up from Google by typing in christian
fundamentalism recovery support. This isn't necessarily the best of best.
There's lots more and changing the search words will turn up even more.

http://www.marlenewinell.com/ltf.htm
Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving
their Religion

Refocus
http://www.refocus.org/

Walk Away
http://www.ifas.org/wa/recovery.html

Here's a bit from that:
> Generally, a person who breaks involvement with a dysfunctional group will
> encounter the following problems:
>
> * Depression ‹ the product of group-induced self-doubt and self-blame.
> * Isolation and loneliness ‹ the shock of crossing the barrier from one
social
> environemnt to another.
> * Impairment of decision-making and other intellectual skills.
> * Floating ‹ occasional lapses into the group's imposed mindset, often
> triggered by certain stimuli (music, symbols, key words or phrases, etc.).
> * Difficulty in talking about group involvement ‹ often related to strong
> feelings of guilt, fear, and bitterness.
> * Interpersonal difficulties ‹ communication, expression, making new
friends,
> organized activities, dating, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. Recent
> walk aways are frequently mistrustful and suspicious of other people and
> groups.
>
> So, how does one recover? How does a person heal the wounds of religious
> abuse? Hopefully, within a caring and understanding new social setting. This
> can be a family, a support or therapy group, or an organized community such as
> a mainstream church, religious group, or humanist society. It should also be
> done with patience and the consideration that recovery will take time and
> effort. The following are some ideas for persons who have walked away from
> religious abuse and who are on the road to reclaiming their lives.
>
> * Work towards trusting yourself and relying on your own abilities.
> * Put your experience down in writing. This will help you to evaluate,
> understand, and cope with your past involvement in the abusive group.
> * Get in touch with other people who have gone through similar experiences,
> either one-on-one or in a support group.
> * Find a hobby or pastime to reinforce a positive sense of accomplishment.
> * When floating occurs, firmly remind yourself that the episode was
triggered
> by some stimulus. Remember also that it will pass. Identify the trigger, learn
> to make a new association, and repeat the new association until it overrides
> the old one. Talking it over with someone who undersands can really help, too.
> * Handle decisions, tasks, and relearning of interpersonal skills one setp
at
> a time. Don't rush yourself, talk and think things over, and don't be afraid
> if you make mistakes ‹ we all do!
> * Be more willing to help people as you go along. This builds up
self-esteems
> and exercises your problem-solving skills.
> * Take a breather from organized religion for about three to nine months,
at
> least. Deal with your questions about religion, ethics, and philosophy in an
> honest and challenging manner.
>
> Remember, you are no longer a victim but a survivor!

Joyce