easing into unschooling
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In a message dated 8/14/02 10:32:28 PM, nedvare@... writes:
<< Somebody stop me, please... let the poor woman think up her own damn
questions for her poor son.>>
I was really into the thoughts about why things go on store shelves why,
though, and remembering that some parents wouldn't know, wouldn't car, and
would just tell a kid it was none of his business unless he was a failure and
had to work in a grocery store.
But store placement is not just practicality (what has to be cold and what
doesn't), but a science involving applied psychology involving market
research, and research into physical human perception--what draws the eye,
what makes people feel soothed so they'll hang around more? Stores have
soundtracks. That music isn't just some random radio station. They're not
going to play "Born to be Wild" or anything that makes you need to pee or go
home. And WHY are there so many kinds of one cereal? Eight kinds of Chex?
Shelf space.
Oh. Back to Ned's request to stop him...
After people's ten to twenty years of school (ten if they drop out and get an
early start on real life, more than twenty if they do the professional
student thing or doctor-stuff), one of the best deschooling tools is
hearing/reading other people's tangents and "what if's" and I thought your
suggestions about what might be done with a little boy WOULD be an easing in.
I talked a long time with a local mom yesterday who has a problematical 14
year old boy. Single mom. I had pictured the worst, but she had some great
advantages. He reads well. Doesn't love it, but has the skill. He isn't
running around with troublemakers, and is content and safe to be left home to
do internet-stuff. He has an interest about which there are magazines and
activities: dirt bikes. He wasn't in public school, but in a private little
Christian school. So not registering (if the mom chooses to go that way)
isn't even going to be noticeable. She has no hostile relatives or formal
relatives. They both have e-mail and can e-mail back and forth while she's
at work. One problem she DOES have is that if she just jumps straight to
unschooling, he's going to feel abandoned and think she doesn't care whether
he learns anything. So we talked about things to do that will be
recognizeably educational to him until he starts to see what the game plan is
and until he starts to find his own things of interest. He's frozen up about
what his options are. He's tight, not loose. He's afraid.
I sent her some websites and we worked on a possible easing-in plan. From my
point of view it's a jumping in. From hers it's easing. It involves sending
him little bits of unschooling stuff to read, and getting him magazines about
what he's interested in, going places where they can leisurely hang out.
He's interested in alternative medicine. There are some places in town with
aisles and aisles of books and "stuff" which he could touch and ask about.
She's thinking of making checklists of kinds of things he should try to do.
Vague, but organized looking. Like for him to tell her in a week what cool
history stuff he's seen or to look for some websites about science he's
interested in. So part of it is him finding what his resources are from the
house while she's gone. I talked her into NOT making him write for exercise.
She understood that easily. I invited her to a conference here in three
weeks.
That's easing.
But to ease into unschooling over a period of a year or more I always advise
against, IF the family means "we're going to use structure in a school-style
way with an eye toward unschooling next year." Because each school-bit is
training in what is and is not "work" or "fun" or "educational," and with
some kids each bit of that calcifies and has to be slowly undone.
I liked that post, Ned. I think you were giving great ideas.
There was another kid whose dad I talked to yesterday. They're in Grants.
His boy is six. They are jumping straight to unschooling, but it's easier
for them. Their problem is relatives. We talked about strategies and
reminders and threats effective on local, established families in small towns
in New Mexico.
Sandra
<< Somebody stop me, please... let the poor woman think up her own damn
questions for her poor son.>>
I was really into the thoughts about why things go on store shelves why,
though, and remembering that some parents wouldn't know, wouldn't car, and
would just tell a kid it was none of his business unless he was a failure and
had to work in a grocery store.
But store placement is not just practicality (what has to be cold and what
doesn't), but a science involving applied psychology involving market
research, and research into physical human perception--what draws the eye,
what makes people feel soothed so they'll hang around more? Stores have
soundtracks. That music isn't just some random radio station. They're not
going to play "Born to be Wild" or anything that makes you need to pee or go
home. And WHY are there so many kinds of one cereal? Eight kinds of Chex?
Shelf space.
Oh. Back to Ned's request to stop him...
After people's ten to twenty years of school (ten if they drop out and get an
early start on real life, more than twenty if they do the professional
student thing or doctor-stuff), one of the best deschooling tools is
hearing/reading other people's tangents and "what if's" and I thought your
suggestions about what might be done with a little boy WOULD be an easing in.
I talked a long time with a local mom yesterday who has a problematical 14
year old boy. Single mom. I had pictured the worst, but she had some great
advantages. He reads well. Doesn't love it, but has the skill. He isn't
running around with troublemakers, and is content and safe to be left home to
do internet-stuff. He has an interest about which there are magazines and
activities: dirt bikes. He wasn't in public school, but in a private little
Christian school. So not registering (if the mom chooses to go that way)
isn't even going to be noticeable. She has no hostile relatives or formal
relatives. They both have e-mail and can e-mail back and forth while she's
at work. One problem she DOES have is that if she just jumps straight to
unschooling, he's going to feel abandoned and think she doesn't care whether
he learns anything. So we talked about things to do that will be
recognizeably educational to him until he starts to see what the game plan is
and until he starts to find his own things of interest. He's frozen up about
what his options are. He's tight, not loose. He's afraid.
I sent her some websites and we worked on a possible easing-in plan. From my
point of view it's a jumping in. From hers it's easing. It involves sending
him little bits of unschooling stuff to read, and getting him magazines about
what he's interested in, going places where they can leisurely hang out.
He's interested in alternative medicine. There are some places in town with
aisles and aisles of books and "stuff" which he could touch and ask about.
She's thinking of making checklists of kinds of things he should try to do.
Vague, but organized looking. Like for him to tell her in a week what cool
history stuff he's seen or to look for some websites about science he's
interested in. So part of it is him finding what his resources are from the
house while she's gone. I talked her into NOT making him write for exercise.
She understood that easily. I invited her to a conference here in three
weeks.
That's easing.
But to ease into unschooling over a period of a year or more I always advise
against, IF the family means "we're going to use structure in a school-style
way with an eye toward unschooling next year." Because each school-bit is
training in what is and is not "work" or "fun" or "educational," and with
some kids each bit of that calcifies and has to be slowly undone.
I liked that post, Ned. I think you were giving great ideas.
There was another kid whose dad I talked to yesterday. They're in Grants.
His boy is six. They are jumping straight to unschooling, but it's easier
for them. Their problem is relatives. We talked about strategies and
reminders and threats effective on local, established families in small towns
in New Mexico.
Sandra
Betsy
**
After people's ten to twenty years of school (ten if they drop out and
get an early start on real life, more than twenty if they do the
professional
student thing or doctor-stuff), one of the best deschooling tools is
hearing/reading other people's tangents and "what if's" and I thought
your
suggestions about what might be done with a little boy WOULD be an
easing in.**
I never thought of it that way. Cool.
We help cultivate non-linear thinking on this list. We take the
questions and tangents of our fellow posters as seriously as we take the
questions and tangents of our children.
Betsy
After people's ten to twenty years of school (ten if they drop out and
get an early start on real life, more than twenty if they do the
professional
student thing or doctor-stuff), one of the best deschooling tools is
hearing/reading other people's tangents and "what if's" and I thought
your
suggestions about what might be done with a little boy WOULD be an
easing in.**
I never thought of it that way. Cool.
We help cultivate non-linear thinking on this list. We take the
questions and tangents of our fellow posters as seriously as we take the
questions and tangents of our children.
Betsy
Gerard Westenberg
<Because each school-bit is training in what is and is not "work" or "fun" or "educational," and with some kids each bit of that calcifies and has to be slowly undone.>
I agree - had I not just jumped into unschooling my youngest four this year, I would have instead, just been continuing with the relaxed homeschooling experienced by our older three boys - you know, "unschooling with light structure"! lol! An oxymoron. It was better for us to just jump in , enjoy ourselves and see where life takes us. Of course, to inspire me in unschooling,I had the memory of relaxed homeschooling with the older boys and realising that they learned most on their own...And my 10 yo was saying he hated Maths and yet maths is everywhere! And fun! I realised that if I continued to request some written maths work each week, I would be intensifying the idea that work is not play...So, jumping in worked best for us!..Leonie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I agree - had I not just jumped into unschooling my youngest four this year, I would have instead, just been continuing with the relaxed homeschooling experienced by our older three boys - you know, "unschooling with light structure"! lol! An oxymoron. It was better for us to just jump in , enjoy ourselves and see where life takes us. Of course, to inspire me in unschooling,I had the memory of relaxed homeschooling with the older boys and realising that they learned most on their own...And my 10 yo was saying he hated Maths and yet maths is everywhere! And fun! I realised that if I continued to request some written maths work each week, I would be intensifying the idea that work is not play...So, jumping in worked best for us!..Leonie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]