Re: 2236 - No age requirements
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
on 8/13/02 1:01 AM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
Betsy writes:
I agree, Betsy. The list is not limited to those who have "school-age"
children. As I see it, it is about discussing ideas that pertain to how to
raise children without doing what schools do to them. People don't need to
have children at all in order to do that. Why? Because we have all been
children and our memories are vivid.
Our own youngest child is now 23. I feel qualified to contribute here, not
about what we did on a day to day basis so much, but on the concept of
unschooling, the reasoning of it, the results of that reasoning, etc.
This discussion does not even limit itself to people who have children at
all, as it is named. It's about an idea and how that idea is manifested.
There is plenty of discussion available and needed about how to treat a
child, right from birth, if we are planning to unschool him/her. One big
idea is how to think outside of the need to prepare that kid for school. If
we don't need to do that, then an entirely different attitude applies. It is
this: Wow, I need to prepare this child for LIFE. The job suddenly takes on
a more focus. No longer do we think about having the box of crayons and the
lunchbox and the right sneakers. We must actually get serious about
parenting.
The school system would like to be our child's surrogate parent.
Homeschoolers see the dangers in giving them that responsibility. The more
we learn about those schools, the more we realize those dangers, and the
more we understand the meaning of the "un" in our word.
For example, I was raised with the expectation that I would go to school.
Therefore, my parents were only part-time involved in my early education,
believing that the school would know what to do with me when the time came.
They relinquished many parental duties to the school employees whom they
didn't even know. As a result, I often got completely different views on
things at school than I got from my parents. The separation began early and
grew right along with me.
When parents plan to unschool, or homeschool, the fact that they accept all
responsibility makes a big difference, and makes raising a child a far more
urgent business for them, and puts their lives into sharp focus as their
child grows.
The great benefit for Luz and me in our son's unschooling (we never even
gave it a name - he was simply living with us) was not so much his obvious
gains in knowledge and skills, but the very fact that he was living his life
under the almost constant care of one or the other of us, and thus he was
not subjected to anyone who would miseducate him or treat him
inappropriately or even waste his time, all of which my previous children
experienced in schools, as most of us did.
And the joy was that we got to know him at each stage much better than we
would have if he had gone away every day to school buildings. The other part
of that is that he got to know us intimately, too.
My school experience had the effect of alienating me from my parents. They
seemed to see themselves merely as the launchpad for me to be influenced
deeply by others. We ended up mostly estranged. But, in comparison to that,
Luz and I are incredibly close to our son -- he still wants us to be the
first to know his secrets. To me, that's a triumph and a treasure.
What more can we ask. And we give the credit to unschooling.
Ned Vare
How the hell can you live in a "starter home"? It's like calling your wife
your "first wife" -- Ian Shoales
[email protected] wrote:
Betsy writes:
> Why should we limit ourselves to the ages that are contained inNed answers:
> government schools? (K-12)
I agree, Betsy. The list is not limited to those who have "school-age"
children. As I see it, it is about discussing ideas that pertain to how to
raise children without doing what schools do to them. People don't need to
have children at all in order to do that. Why? Because we have all been
children and our memories are vivid.
Our own youngest child is now 23. I feel qualified to contribute here, not
about what we did on a day to day basis so much, but on the concept of
unschooling, the reasoning of it, the results of that reasoning, etc.
This discussion does not even limit itself to people who have children at
all, as it is named. It's about an idea and how that idea is manifested.
There is plenty of discussion available and needed about how to treat a
child, right from birth, if we are planning to unschool him/her. One big
idea is how to think outside of the need to prepare that kid for school. If
we don't need to do that, then an entirely different attitude applies. It is
this: Wow, I need to prepare this child for LIFE. The job suddenly takes on
a more focus. No longer do we think about having the box of crayons and the
lunchbox and the right sneakers. We must actually get serious about
parenting.
The school system would like to be our child's surrogate parent.
Homeschoolers see the dangers in giving them that responsibility. The more
we learn about those schools, the more we realize those dangers, and the
more we understand the meaning of the "un" in our word.
For example, I was raised with the expectation that I would go to school.
Therefore, my parents were only part-time involved in my early education,
believing that the school would know what to do with me when the time came.
They relinquished many parental duties to the school employees whom they
didn't even know. As a result, I often got completely different views on
things at school than I got from my parents. The separation began early and
grew right along with me.
When parents plan to unschool, or homeschool, the fact that they accept all
responsibility makes a big difference, and makes raising a child a far more
urgent business for them, and puts their lives into sharp focus as their
child grows.
The great benefit for Luz and me in our son's unschooling (we never even
gave it a name - he was simply living with us) was not so much his obvious
gains in knowledge and skills, but the very fact that he was living his life
under the almost constant care of one or the other of us, and thus he was
not subjected to anyone who would miseducate him or treat him
inappropriately or even waste his time, all of which my previous children
experienced in schools, as most of us did.
And the joy was that we got to know him at each stage much better than we
would have if he had gone away every day to school buildings. The other part
of that is that he got to know us intimately, too.
My school experience had the effect of alienating me from my parents. They
seemed to see themselves merely as the launchpad for me to be influenced
deeply by others. We ended up mostly estranged. But, in comparison to that,
Luz and I are incredibly close to our son -- he still wants us to be the
first to know his secrets. To me, that's a triumph and a treasure.
What more can we ask. And we give the credit to unschooling.
Ned Vare
How the hell can you live in a "starter home"? It's like calling your wife
your "first wife" -- Ian Shoales