swimming lesson concerns
Lesley Janke
Hi everyone,
I'm coming out of lurkdom to ask your opinion on my 13 yo son's swimming
class. He is enrolled in Bronze Medallion, and isn't sure he wants to
continue with it. He thought it would be more of a balance between swimming
and lifesaving than it is. He is small for his age and probably the
youngest in the class, so is having difficulty with some of the carries.
Also he's the only boy and is feeling pressure from the instructor (also
male) to be better than the "girls" (this is a totally foreign idea to my
family).
My problem is that I was raised with the idea that if you start a course of
some kind, you'd better finish it (or else...!). I'm pretty new to the idea
of unschooling, and feel like if we're really unschooling, we should just
let him quit. OTOH, we also have paid $115 for the class, and money is
pretty tight, so I'm reluctant to see that money wasted. I would like an
opinion (or two) of how I should handle this. I forgot to mention that the
instructor told the class today that if the exam was today 2/5 would
probably fail. (and not long after the class was told that my son & the
smallest girl were doing "ok" and the others were doing "excellent" and
"good").
So, have any of you had any experiences that you'd like to share? The class
is everyday this week, ending on Sat (Aug 10).
Thanks!
Lesley
_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
I'm coming out of lurkdom to ask your opinion on my 13 yo son's swimming
class. He is enrolled in Bronze Medallion, and isn't sure he wants to
continue with it. He thought it would be more of a balance between swimming
and lifesaving than it is. He is small for his age and probably the
youngest in the class, so is having difficulty with some of the carries.
Also he's the only boy and is feeling pressure from the instructor (also
male) to be better than the "girls" (this is a totally foreign idea to my
family).
My problem is that I was raised with the idea that if you start a course of
some kind, you'd better finish it (or else...!). I'm pretty new to the idea
of unschooling, and feel like if we're really unschooling, we should just
let him quit. OTOH, we also have paid $115 for the class, and money is
pretty tight, so I'm reluctant to see that money wasted. I would like an
opinion (or two) of how I should handle this. I forgot to mention that the
instructor told the class today that if the exam was today 2/5 would
probably fail. (and not long after the class was told that my son & the
smallest girl were doing "ok" and the others were doing "excellent" and
"good").
So, have any of you had any experiences that you'd like to share? The class
is everyday this week, ending on Sat (Aug 10).
Thanks!
Lesley
_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
debi watson
Lesley, is it at Grant MacEwan? We have had problems there too. How much of the course has he already taken? Enough that it is worth it to reschedule the remainder for another time? Is he the only hs kid there? We found that the courses as they stand are weighted far more heavily to so-called "safety" than actual stroke improvement. We found it best to gather up two or three kids of similar swimming ability and have "private lessons" (They will schedule "private" for as little as three kids at fairly reasonable rates). You can even try to schedule your own hs bronze in the fall -- I know that Susan Mallandaine is looking for someone for her private, and I think Sarah is 12-ish, and passed all the aquaquest levels. I am in a similar situation, and made my kids finish out the course, and now they are adamantly refusing to register for any more. In hindsight, I would have given up more than a hundred dollars to have not biased them against swimming. We are going to take an "unswimming" approach in the fall, and just go to the pool a couple of times a week until they feel the need to improve their strokes in a more formal way. Just my humble and new-to-unschooling opinion. Debi You can email me privately if you like debiwatson@...
----- Original Message -----
I'm pretty new to the idea
of unschooling, and feel like if we're really unschooling, we should just
let him quit. OTOH, we also have paid $115 for the class, and money is
pretty tight, so I'm reluctant to see that money wasted. I would like an
opinion (or two) of how I should handle this.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/6/02 10:34:21 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
ljanke@... writes:
If what you get for your money is the knowledge that he didn't want the class
that much, that's okay. Disappointment and more free hours this week are a
better package for the money than disappointment and three more trips to the
pool where he'll be frustrated and maybe worse.
I would say cut your losses.
If you paid $100 for a bottle of something it turned out your kid was
allergic to, would you pour out the rest of the bottle when you discovered
it, or would you say "Hey--we paid $100 for this--you drink it!" ?
Depending on the situation and your personality and all, you *might* want to
talk to the administrator of the pool or program and say you'd like to wait
until another season and another teacher, as this one isn't a good match for
your child. Maybe they'll give you credit or partial credit. Or you might
be in a small town where another teacher is not on the horizon.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ljanke@... writes:
> . OTOH, we also have paid $115 for the class, and money isThe $115 is gone.
> pretty tight, so I'm reluctant to see that money wasted. I would like an
> opinion (or two) of how I should handle this.
If what you get for your money is the knowledge that he didn't want the class
that much, that's okay. Disappointment and more free hours this week are a
better package for the money than disappointment and three more trips to the
pool where he'll be frustrated and maybe worse.
I would say cut your losses.
If you paid $100 for a bottle of something it turned out your kid was
allergic to, would you pour out the rest of the bottle when you discovered
it, or would you say "Hey--we paid $100 for this--you drink it!" ?
Depending on the situation and your personality and all, you *might* want to
talk to the administrator of the pool or program and say you'd like to wait
until another season and another teacher, as this one isn't a good match for
your child. Maybe they'll give you credit or partial credit. Or you might
be in a small town where another teacher is not on the horizon.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Leslie Avery
Lesley,
I did something similar with my 13 year old daughter
and horseback riding lessons. She has loved horses
since she was young and was taking lessons before we
moved with a free spirited teacher who really wanted
her to enjoy as well as learn. but no pressure. When
we moved we signed her up with a woman who was very
stern and required written tests. I didn't find this
out until after we signed up and my daughter worried
more about the test than anything else.
I made her finish up the lessons that I had paid for
and now she doesn't want anything to do with horseback
riding lessons. Her love of learning was totally
squashed when it came to horses. I think maybe
somewhere along the way she will pick it back up. But
killing that joy wasn't worth any money.
Leslie
--- Lesley Janke <ljanke@...> wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Health - Feel better, live better
http://health.yahoo.com
I did something similar with my 13 year old daughter
and horseback riding lessons. She has loved horses
since she was young and was taking lessons before we
moved with a free spirited teacher who really wanted
her to enjoy as well as learn. but no pressure. When
we moved we signed her up with a woman who was very
stern and required written tests. I didn't find this
out until after we signed up and my daughter worried
more about the test than anything else.
I made her finish up the lessons that I had paid for
and now she doesn't want anything to do with horseback
riding lessons. Her love of learning was totally
squashed when it came to horses. I think maybe
somewhere along the way she will pick it back up. But
killing that joy wasn't worth any money.
Leslie
--- Lesley Janke <ljanke@...> wrote:
> Hi everyone,_________________________________________________________________
>
> I'm coming out of lurkdom to ask your opinion on my
> 13 yo son's swimming
> class. He is enrolled in Bronze Medallion, and
> isn't sure he wants to
> continue with it. He thought it would be more of a
> balance between swimming
> and lifesaving than it is. He is small for his age
> and probably the
> youngest in the class, so is having difficulty with
> some of the carries.
> Also he's the only boy and is feeling pressure from
> the instructor (also
> male) to be better than the "girls" (this is a
> totally foreign idea to my
> family).
> My problem is that I was raised with the idea that
> if you start a course of
> some kind, you'd better finish it (or else...!).
> I'm pretty new to the idea
> of unschooling, and feel like if we're really
> unschooling, we should just
> let him quit. OTOH, we also have paid $115 for the
> class, and money is
> pretty tight, so I'm reluctant to see that money
> wasted. I would like an
> opinion (or two) of how I should handle this. I
> forgot to mention that the
> instructor told the class today that if the exam was
> today 2/5 would
> probably fail. (and not long after the class was
> told that my son & the
> smallest girl were doing "ok" and the others were
> doing "excellent" and
> "good").
> So, have any of you had any experiences that you'd
> like to share? The class
> is everyday this week, ending on Sat (Aug 10).
> Thanks!
> Lesley
>
>
> MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print__________________________________________________
> your photos:
> http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Health - Feel better, live better
http://health.yahoo.com
Alan & Brenda Leonard
>instructor told the class today that if the exam was today 2/5 wouldLesley,
>probably fail.
> The class
> is everyday this week, ending on Sat (Aug 10).
I'm sure you'll get many opinions on staying with/dropping out of things,
and finishing but not worrying about passing but just learning, etc.
However, I have to say that the two statements above set off alarm bells in
my head. First, your email is dated Tuesday night in my digest. If that's
correct, your son has had this class for 2 days, and has 3-4 more. He's
less than half done, so of COURSE he doesn't know how to do it all yet.
Is it possible that he approach the instructor with his concerns? To let
the instructor know that he does want to pass, and would appreciate his
support learning the things he's finding troublesome? That in his mind,
it's not important to be better than the girls? Is his size an issue, since
the other small person is also having trouble -- he can't change his size,
but can he change his stance, etc.? If he is uncomfortable talking to the
instructor alone, maybe you can join him. But the above statements gave me
the impression that with a fair chance, and some support, maybe he could
make it work.
Also, figure the $$ are gone at this point, and consider with your son
whether sticking with it and trying, but not stressing about passing is
worthwhile, or if continuing would be an emotional loss as well as a
financial loss. His heart will always be more important than money.
brenda
Lisa M. C. Bentley
> I would like anWhat does your son want to do about the situation?
> opinion (or two) of how I should handle this.
Lesley Janke
Hi Lisa,
He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I have
this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what. He was the
one that got me to write to all of you, wondering what your perspective
would be.
Thanks,
Lesley
I would like an
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I have
this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what. He was the
one that got me to write to all of you, wondering what your perspective
would be.
Thanks,
Lesley
I would like an
> > opinion (or two) of how I should handle this._________________________________________________________________
>
>What does your son want to do about the situation?
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/7/02 9:00:48 PM, ljanke@... writes:
<< He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I
have
this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what. >>
I think you should let him quit. He can take the class again or later. But
you will have bought $43 worth of his trust if he doesn't have to go Thursday
or Friday.
Sometimes parents would love to give $5000 to earn their kids' trust when
they're older and the relationship is messed up, but you can't really buy
trust with money.
You can, though, earn trust by listening to your child instead of to the
guilt-messages imbedded in you from your own childhood.
http://sandradodd.com/empowerment might make you feel better about letting it
go.
Sandra
<< He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I
have
this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what. >>
I think you should let him quit. He can take the class again or later. But
you will have bought $43 worth of his trust if he doesn't have to go Thursday
or Friday.
Sometimes parents would love to give $5000 to earn their kids' trust when
they're older and the relationship is messed up, but you can't really buy
trust with money.
You can, though, earn trust by listening to your child instead of to the
guilt-messages imbedded in you from your own childhood.
http://sandradodd.com/empowerment might make you feel better about letting it
go.
Sandra
Fetteroll
on 8/7/02 10:59 PM, Lesley Janke at ljanke@... wrote:
feeling and muddle through to the end.
The *real* trick is learning when to stick something out and when to cut
your losses. To learn to assess when something is providing less than what
it's taking.
Is a few swimming lessons worth the price your son is paying in feeling he
is being held prisoner by money, you, the teacher, society's thoughts of him
as a quitter?
What if you decided to take a class and you felt half way through that you
weren't getting enough out of it and it was draining too much from you?
There's a *huge huge* difference between you deciding you want to stick it
out so as not to waste the money or become a quitter and your husband saying
you must stick it out for those reasons.
Joyce
> He wants to quit, but I'm not sure that this is the right decision. I have*Anyone* can learn to stick with something. You just stop thinking and
> this idea ingrained in me that he should finish, no matter what.
feeling and muddle through to the end.
The *real* trick is learning when to stick something out and when to cut
your losses. To learn to assess when something is providing less than what
it's taking.
Is a few swimming lessons worth the price your son is paying in feeling he
is being held prisoner by money, you, the teacher, society's thoughts of him
as a quitter?
What if you decided to take a class and you felt half way through that you
weren't getting enough out of it and it was draining too much from you?
There's a *huge huge* difference between you deciding you want to stick it
out so as not to waste the money or become a quitter and your husband saying
you must stick it out for those reasons.
Joyce