public school stigma
[email protected]
Hi Zan,
My son is 9. He was very creative with drama (dressing up and putting on
shows.. arranging animals, blocks etc.. selling us tickets to his zoo or
circus or play.. etc..)
creative with art.. (at age 4, drew a 20 foot shark , colored and labeled
it,,, would sit and create pictures of all sorts...)
Well, this all occurred before 5 and a half.
We homeschooled. (well, unschooled, I see now.. :-)
THE BAD NEWS.. we went to a job living with at risk youth.. after getting the
job, they informed us homeschooling wasn't really going to fit in the
program.. so, guess what, we ended up putting him into Montessori at age
6.... BAD MISTAKE...
We had him in for 3 mos. and then quit the job and took him out, moved on
with our lives..
Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it.
What do you think?
Others imput is welcome too.
Thanks!
Bj
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My son is 9. He was very creative with drama (dressing up and putting on
shows.. arranging animals, blocks etc.. selling us tickets to his zoo or
circus or play.. etc..)
creative with art.. (at age 4, drew a 20 foot shark , colored and labeled
it,,, would sit and create pictures of all sorts...)
Well, this all occurred before 5 and a half.
We homeschooled. (well, unschooled, I see now.. :-)
THE BAD NEWS.. we went to a job living with at risk youth.. after getting the
job, they informed us homeschooling wasn't really going to fit in the
program.. so, guess what, we ended up putting him into Montessori at age
6.... BAD MISTAKE...
We had him in for 3 mos. and then quit the job and took him out, moved on
with our lives..
Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it.
What do you think?
Others imput is welcome too.
Thanks!
Bj
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/26/02 6:31:27 PM, Bj4kids@... writes:
<< Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it. >>
YOU do art in front of him. Let him see you having fun and making mistakes
and still having fun.
Get art supplies and leave them out randomly.
Sandra
<< Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it. >>
YOU do art in front of him. Let him see you having fun and making mistakes
and still having fun.
Get art supplies and leave them out randomly.
Sandra
[email protected]
I have trouble accepting my own son's lack of curiosity about many things.. (like the art he was very interested in when little since i am an artist.. ) i examined my feelings about all this and realize it is my attachment to him being so creative and as wonderful as i think he SHOULD be that's the problem... sometimes we have to let go of more of our "shoulds" to let them relax.. i mean even when i try to control myself and not insist on my son doing or learning certain things... he can tell... kids know their mom's very well..... of course at this time in my life.. (i'm a late bloomer and am old enuf to be this child's grandmother).. i find it easier to let go of "shoulds" and look at what IS and go with it..
our children reflect our values more than we realize. so i agree with sandra.. if you like art and have fun with it.. keep it up.... He'll have fun with it when he's ready. or maybe he won't. maybe he'll do something else.
when my kids were younger (almost 9 and 15 now) i remember feeling that i wanted them to know something or do something NOW .. or they might never do it.. or they were missing something.. now i see that they find their own way a lot more than i thought they would.
i have never unschooled (or homeschooled).. til now... ..but realize when i look back at my own life that the things i learned the best and contributed to my life the most were definitely not the things i learned in school... it was things like the family insect collection and the sense of curiosity and desire to know what was going on around me that really taught me things..
[and my favorite example is my grandaddy.. he read law books and took the bar exam.. you could do that in the olden days.. (i think it was around the time the first mammel crawled from the ocean).. so i know he taught my mom to be like that who taught me and i am now passing it on...and i think IT is a big curiosity... modern schools like to squash that right away since it might lead to questioning authority.. EGAD.. can't have that!! ]
Linda LL
our children reflect our values more than we realize. so i agree with sandra.. if you like art and have fun with it.. keep it up.... He'll have fun with it when he's ready. or maybe he won't. maybe he'll do something else.
when my kids were younger (almost 9 and 15 now) i remember feeling that i wanted them to know something or do something NOW .. or they might never do it.. or they were missing something.. now i see that they find their own way a lot more than i thought they would.
i have never unschooled (or homeschooled).. til now... ..but realize when i look back at my own life that the things i learned the best and contributed to my life the most were definitely not the things i learned in school... it was things like the family insect collection and the sense of curiosity and desire to know what was going on around me that really taught me things..
[and my favorite example is my grandaddy.. he read law books and took the bar exam.. you could do that in the olden days.. (i think it was around the time the first mammel crawled from the ocean).. so i know he taught my mom to be like that who taught me and i am now passing it on...and i think IT is a big curiosity... modern schools like to squash that right away since it might lead to questioning authority.. EGAD.. can't have that!! ]
Linda LL
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, July 26, 2002 7:57 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] public school stigma
In a message dated 7/26/02 6:31:27 PM, Bj4kids@... writes:
<< Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it. >>
YOU do art in front of him. Let him see you having fun and making mistakes
and still having fun.
Get art supplies and leave them out randomly.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jamie Lemon
Hi Bj!
I feel your pain :-(
And I wish I had answers.
My son, 8yo, sounds very similar to yours and because of a bad art related
incident in Kindergarten he would not try anything creative for years! (he
was embarrassed in front of the class and us about not using his scissors
"properly" on numerous occasions, by the teacher)
My dd, 11yo, suffers from PS related things like grading everything she does
and wanting to be "forced" to do school.
"Strewing" has been our key to success so far. I try to get info, books,
toys, etc on things they have expressed interest in and I have allowed
myself to revisit things I enjoyed as a kid but thought I couldn't do (like
coloring). My son is not confident enough in his own ability of coloring to
pick up a picture and color it. So, I bought myself a colored pencil
coloring kit and worked on it, before I knew it, everyone, (including Max)
had joined in. Same thing happened when Sam, our 11yo dd, started making
ancient looking scrolls. Tonight we listened to a book on tape called
"Stowaway" which lead to all sorts of investigating and fun. A week ago I
bought a "puzzle kit for kids" for Sam. It sat there for a few days and I
was dying to see what was in it. So, I opened it up, within 15 minutes both
kids were begging to play one of the puzzle games.
It's tiny baby-steps that we are taking to hopefully restore their
confidence. It's restoring mine as well. It's not all "peaches & cream".
Sometimes they never join in, sometimes they get frustrated and Max still
cries over things he thinks he can't do. All I can do now is reassure and
Strew ;-)
Maybe you could start doing something like coloring, drawing etc and see if
he gets interested. Or steer away from "typical" kids art and give him a
bucket of paint to decorate his room or a piece of furniture with. Maybe he
wouldn't see that as the "Art" he used to do and lost confidence in. If
nothing seems to work maybe he is just not interested now and may change his
mind later.
I really hope my ramblings help :-)
Zan
I feel your pain :-(
And I wish I had answers.
My son, 8yo, sounds very similar to yours and because of a bad art related
incident in Kindergarten he would not try anything creative for years! (he
was embarrassed in front of the class and us about not using his scissors
"properly" on numerous occasions, by the teacher)
My dd, 11yo, suffers from PS related things like grading everything she does
and wanting to be "forced" to do school.
"Strewing" has been our key to success so far. I try to get info, books,
toys, etc on things they have expressed interest in and I have allowed
myself to revisit things I enjoyed as a kid but thought I couldn't do (like
coloring). My son is not confident enough in his own ability of coloring to
pick up a picture and color it. So, I bought myself a colored pencil
coloring kit and worked on it, before I knew it, everyone, (including Max)
had joined in. Same thing happened when Sam, our 11yo dd, started making
ancient looking scrolls. Tonight we listened to a book on tape called
"Stowaway" which lead to all sorts of investigating and fun. A week ago I
bought a "puzzle kit for kids" for Sam. It sat there for a few days and I
was dying to see what was in it. So, I opened it up, within 15 minutes both
kids were begging to play one of the puzzle games.
It's tiny baby-steps that we are taking to hopefully restore their
confidence. It's restoring mine as well. It's not all "peaches & cream".
Sometimes they never join in, sometimes they get frustrated and Max still
cries over things he thinks he can't do. All I can do now is reassure and
Strew ;-)
Maybe you could start doing something like coloring, drawing etc and see if
he gets interested. Or steer away from "typical" kids art and give him a
bucket of paint to decorate his room or a piece of furniture with. Maybe he
wouldn't see that as the "Art" he used to do and lost confidence in. If
nothing seems to work maybe he is just not interested now and may change his
mind later.
I really hope my ramblings help :-)
Zan
----- Original Message -----
From: Bj4kids@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, July 26, 2002 7:30 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] public school stigma
Hi Zan,
My son is 9. He was very creative with drama (dressing up and putting on
shows.. arranging animals, blocks etc.. selling us tickets to his zoo or
circus or play.. etc..)
creative with art.. (at age 4, drew a 20 foot shark , colored and labeled
it,,, would sit and create pictures of all sorts...)
Well, this all occurred before 5 and a half.
We homeschooled. (well, unschooled, I see now.. :-)
THE BAD NEWS.. we went to a job living with at risk youth.. after getting
the
job, they informed us homeschooling wasn't really going to fit in the
program.. so, guess what, we ended up putting him into Montessori at age
6.... BAD MISTAKE...
We had him in for 3 mos. and then quit the job and took him out, moved on
with our lives..
Unfortunately, Kent to this day says, "I don't like art or drawing."
How did you help in the recovery for your kids?
I just hate to see our son not get into art again , since he really was sooo
good at it.
What do you think?
Others imput is welcome too.
Thanks!
Bj