Re: ADD 19 year old son (kind of long)
Leslie Avery
I have a 19 year old son who was diagnosed when he was
in the fifth grade with ADD and unfortunately I
listened to the school and put him on ritalin which
lead to him being put on clonidine so he could sleep
at night. He was on this for 5 years. Finally I
wised up and took him off.
But I still had him in school from public to private
and than at the age of 16 I took him out and said
that's it. He has very low self esteem and anything
thing that even smell's of learning he turns his nose
up. We have just moved back to California near
family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
a job or he needs to go to college.
He is very creative, is teaching himself to play the
guitar and writes his own music. He is somewhat a
loner, his best friend is his 17 year old homeschooled
brother. My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective.
I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
Leslie
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
in the fifth grade with ADD and unfortunately I
listened to the school and put him on ritalin which
lead to him being put on clonidine so he could sleep
at night. He was on this for 5 years. Finally I
wised up and took him off.
But I still had him in school from public to private
and than at the age of 16 I took him out and said
that's it. He has very low self esteem and anything
thing that even smell's of learning he turns his nose
up. We have just moved back to California near
family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
a job or he needs to go to college.
He is very creative, is teaching himself to play the
guitar and writes his own music. He is somewhat a
loner, his best friend is his 17 year old homeschooled
brother. My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective.
I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
Leslie
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/18/02 9:22:08 AM, ljbakavery@... writes:
<< My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective. >>
Movie marathon.
I think you and he should plan a movie marathon. A movie or two a day,
together, with anyone else who wants to join. I think if you watch a diverse
enough set of movies (one can just lead to another, or you could follow
certain actors, or themes, and change it whenever you want to) that you will
touch on almost every subject and have opportunities for discussions which
will help him and you know how much he knows, and how analytical he can be.
Don't make it schooly at all, just make it be like an extended vacation
project. But it will involve
literature/plot/character/geography/history/human development and motivation,
and all kinds of other "real" stuff.
Sandra
<< My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective. >>
Movie marathon.
I think you and he should plan a movie marathon. A movie or two a day,
together, with anyone else who wants to join. I think if you watch a diverse
enough set of movies (one can just lead to another, or you could follow
certain actors, or themes, and change it whenever you want to) that you will
touch on almost every subject and have opportunities for discussions which
will help him and you know how much he knows, and how analytical he can be.
Don't make it schooly at all, just make it be like an extended vacation
project. But it will involve
literature/plot/character/geography/history/human development and motivation,
and all kinds of other "real" stuff.
Sandra
julie means
sandra,
is that what you would recommend for any child who is healing from the school experience? what a great idea! it seems particularly good for older kids.
as a single mom of a 10 year old who will not be going back to school, it has been an interesting process to determine just how much my son does know and is interested in. it is amazing and wonderful how much i have really learned about him just because he is home and with me. even just a few great moments here and there thruout the day are incredibly rich, compared to before, when our time together was spent helping him get ready to go to school or to do stupid and meaningless homework assignments.
it has also been painful, as i realize how much time with him i have lost to him being gone in school.
i am blessed with his presence, and i am so thankful for the support and wisdom of the people on this list.
julie
is that what you would recommend for any child who is healing from the school experience? what a great idea! it seems particularly good for older kids.
as a single mom of a 10 year old who will not be going back to school, it has been an interesting process to determine just how much my son does know and is interested in. it is amazing and wonderful how much i have really learned about him just because he is home and with me. even just a few great moments here and there thruout the day are incredibly rich, compared to before, when our time together was spent helping him get ready to go to school or to do stupid and meaningless homework assignments.
it has also been painful, as i realize how much time with him i have lost to him being gone in school.
i am blessed with his presence, and i am so thankful for the support and wisdom of the people on this list.
julie
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, July 18, 2002 11:39 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: ADD 19 year old son (kind of long)
In a message dated 7/18/02 9:22:08 AM, ljbakavery@... writes:
<< My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective. >>
Movie marathon.
I think you and he should plan a movie marathon. A movie or two a day,
together, with anyone else who wants to join. I think if you watch a diverse
enough set of movies (one can just lead to another, or you could follow
certain actors, or themes, and change it whenever you want to) that you will
touch on almost every subject and have opportunities for discussions which
will help him and you know how much he knows, and how analytical he can be.
Don't make it schooly at all, just make it be like an extended vacation
project. But it will involve
literature/plot/character/geography/history/human development and motivation,
and all kinds of other "real" stuff.
Sandra
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the Moderator, Joyce Fetteroll, at fetteroll@...
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
> We have just moved back to California nearYou could tell them that he's homeschooling college. <g>
>family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
>a job or he needs to go to college.
Seriously, all three of our older kids went to school, and they've all
appreciated time where they were still being supported and not expected to
do anything but recover from school.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/18/02 12:39:37 PM, leschke@... writes:
<< You could tell them that he's homeschooling college. <g> >>
Yes!
And first course: Film class!! <bwg>
<< You could tell them that he's homeschooling college. <g> >>
Yes!
And first course: Film class!! <bwg>
[email protected]
Listen to yourself!
You are right
Linda LL
You are right
Linda LL
----- Original Message -----
From: Leslie Avery
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, July 18, 2002 10:20 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: ADD 19 year old son (kind of long)
I have a 19 year old son who was diagnosed when he was
in the fifth grade with ADD and unfortunately I
listened to the school and put him on ritalin which
lead to him being put on clonidine so he could sleep
at night. He was on this for 5 years. Finally I
wised up and took him off.
But I still had him in school from public to private
and than at the age of 16 I took him out and said
that's it. He has very low self esteem and anything
thing that even smell's of learning he turns his nose
up. We have just moved back to California near
family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
a job or he needs to go to college.
He is very creative, is teaching himself to play the
guitar and writes his own music. He is somewhat a
loner, his best friend is his 17 year old homeschooled
brother. My feelings on the subject are that he needs
to heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family. My family tells me I am being too
protective.
I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
Leslie
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the Moderator, Joyce Fetteroll, at fetteroll@...
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
David and Bonnie Altman
He needs time to find out who he is. You might encourage him to volunteer
for Volunteers for America or another program that will help him discover
himself.
I found myself that when I was getting back into college, community
college was fantastic. Usually the teachers there live in "the real world"
and work in the field they teach.
Also, if he's interested in music, sound recording is a very good field to
get into in California. I would encourage him to get to know himself and
have fun. You might want to employ the services of a professional ADD
coach, who can get him goal oriented without nagging because the ADD coach
would be an objective outsider who is on your son's "side". You are too of
course, but kids don't always see it that way.
There is a list of coaches in ADDitude magazine.
Bonnie
for Volunteers for America or another program that will help him discover
himself.
I found myself that when I was getting back into college, community
college was fantastic. Usually the teachers there live in "the real world"
and work in the field they teach.
Also, if he's interested in music, sound recording is a very good field to
get into in California. I would encourage him to get to know himself and
have fun. You might want to employ the services of a professional ADD
coach, who can get him goal oriented without nagging because the ADD coach
would be an objective outsider who is on your son's "side". You are too of
course, but kids don't always see it that way.
There is a list of coaches in ADDitude magazine.
Bonnie
Betsy
** We have just moved back to California near
family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
a job or he needs to go to college.**
Urgh! I would find that infuriating, and it would probably make me want
to roll in scummy gutters or join a lethargic cult just to defy them!
(I'm not very mature, despite my advanced age.)
If you're in N. Calif., you all could see a lot of teenagers who don't
go to school, and their families, at the HSC conference in Sacramento,
around August 16th. (I'm not very mature, AND I have a terrible memory
for dates.) This is usualy a big confidence boost for me. Don't know
if it would work for you.
You can find info at:
http://www.hsc.org
There should be something to click on in the upper right hand corner.
More and more people don't go to school and are THRILLED about it.
A friend, a nice one, honestly, asked me if I would let my son (8) go to
school later, if he wants to. He and I just looked at her like she was
slightly insane. We really can't imagine WANTING to go to school.
OK, enough ranting. I hope your son has a nice life, doing what he wants.
Betsy
family, who are constantly telling me he needs to get
a job or he needs to go to college.**
Urgh! I would find that infuriating, and it would probably make me want
to roll in scummy gutters or join a lethargic cult just to defy them!
(I'm not very mature, despite my advanced age.)
If you're in N. Calif., you all could see a lot of teenagers who don't
go to school, and their families, at the HSC conference in Sacramento,
around August 16th. (I'm not very mature, AND I have a terrible memory
for dates.) This is usualy a big confidence boost for me. Don't know
if it would work for you.
You can find info at:
http://www.hsc.org
There should be something to click on in the upper right hand corner.
More and more people don't go to school and are THRILLED about it.
A friend, a nice one, honestly, asked me if I would let my son (8) go to
school later, if he wants to. He and I just looked at her like she was
slightly insane. We really can't imagine WANTING to go to school.
OK, enough ranting. I hope your son has a nice life, doing what he wants.
Betsy
Leslie Avery
Thank you for all of the advice about my 19 year old
ADD son. You all have been very helpful and
supportive with alot of good suggestions.
Leslie
--- llindsey@... wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
ADD son. You all have been very helpful and
supportive with alot of good suggestions.
Leslie
--- llindsey@... wrote:
> Listen to yourself!__________________________________________________
> You are right
>
> Linda LL
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Leslie Avery
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Thursday, July 18, 2002 10:20 AM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: ADD 19 year old
> son (kind of long)
>
>
> I have a 19 year old son who was diagnosed when he
> was
> in the fifth grade with ADD and unfortunately I
> listened to the school and put him on ritalin
> which
> lead to him being put on clonidine so he could
> sleep
> at night. He was on this for 5 years. Finally I
> wised up and took him off.
>
> But I still had him in school from public to
> private
> and than at the age of 16 I took him out and said
> that's it. He has very low self esteem and
> anything
> thing that even smell's of learning he turns his
> nose
> up. We have just moved back to California near
> family, who are constantly telling me he needs to
> get
> a job or he needs to go to college.
>
> He is very creative, is teaching himself to play
> the
> guitar and writes his own music. He is somewhat a
> loner, his best friend is his 17 year old
> homeschooled
> brother. My feelings on the subject are that he
> needs
> to heal himself from his long school career which
> was
> one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
> students, and that I should allow him to progress
> at
> his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the
> closeness
> of the family. My family tells me I am being too
> protective.
>
> I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
>
> Leslie
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
> http://autos.yahoo.com
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with
> this list, please email the Moderator, Joyce
> Fetteroll, at fetteroll@...
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo!
> Terms of Service.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
zenmomma *
>>My feelings on the subject are that he needsto heal himself from his long school career which was
one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
students, and that I should allow him to progress at
his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the closeness
of the family.>>
Go with your gut, Leslie!! Your son sounds like he really needs some time to
deschool, even though he's technically beyond "school age".
My nephew went through a very similar experience. He had a horrible school
experience and was finally able to drop out of high school at 16. He spent a
couple of years just decompressing and finding himself. He's 19 now and is
thankfully emerging as his true self again. He's writing, reading
voraciously, creating art and music, and figuring out for himself what path
he would like to take as far as his working life goes. His mom and family
have been his support through this process and the results for him have been
priceless.
It's not about being "too protective". It's about supporting one another.
Your son is lucky to have you in his corner.
Life is good.
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com
Leslie Avery
Mary,
Thanks, your email was music to my ears! I just need
to be patient and trust in him.
Leslie
--- zenmomma * <zenmomma@...> wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com
Thanks, your email was music to my ears! I just need
to be patient and trust in him.
Leslie
--- zenmomma * <zenmomma@...> wrote:
>_________________________________________________________________
> >>My feelings on the subject are that he needs
> to heal himself from his long school career which
> was
> one of ridicule from both teachers as well as
> students, and that I should allow him to progress at
> his own rate. My gut tells me he needs the
> closeness
> of the family.>>
>
> Go with your gut, Leslie!! Your son sounds like he
> really needs some time to
> deschool, even though he's technically beyond
> "school age".
>
> My nephew went through a very similar experience. He
> had a horrible school
> experience and was finally able to drop out of high
> school at 16. He spent a
> couple of years just decompressing and finding
> himself. He's 19 now and is
> thankfully emerging as his true self again. He's
> writing, reading
> voraciously, creating art and music, and figuring
> out for himself what path
> he would like to take as far as his working life
> goes. His mom and family
> have been his support through this process and the
> results for him have been
> priceless.
>
> It's not about being "too protective". It's about
> supporting one another.
> Your son is lucky to have you in his corner.
>
> Life is good.
> ~Mary
>
>
>
> Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger:__________________________________________________
> http://messenger.msn.com
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Autos - Get free new car price quotes
http://autos.yahoo.com