Re: parenting discussion
Julie Stauffer
<<And it seemed like she should be involved in setting up and cleaning up if
she wanted to paint. She chose not to paint.>>
Sorry for the paraphrase, Joyce. But I wonder....sometimes clean up isn't
about what mom wants or what her standards are, sometimes its about safety
of younger members of the house. Things are getting better for us now with
Michelle hitting 3 soon (the most dangerous thing she does now is color on
the walls), but for awhile there with 3 kids under 5 and then the bigger
kids too, I simply didn't have time to clean up everything and make sure
everybody was safe.
After I came in from helping Adriane do something with her goats to find
then 2 year old Michelle cutting holes in the recliner with scissors that
had been left out, it became the responsibility of who got them out to put
them away.
After I walked into the kitchen to find then 2 yo Daniel using a buck knife
to saw through the leg on the kitchen chair, it became Zach's responsibility
to keep his knife put away when not using it.
We have a quite large, roomy (if rather ramshackle) home that is wonderful
for a large family but the downside is that I can't be everywhere at all
times. We have had numerous and varied discussions about how to work
together on this. Personal responsibility is what is working well for us
currently.
Julie
she wanted to paint. She chose not to paint.>>
Sorry for the paraphrase, Joyce. But I wonder....sometimes clean up isn't
about what mom wants or what her standards are, sometimes its about safety
of younger members of the house. Things are getting better for us now with
Michelle hitting 3 soon (the most dangerous thing she does now is color on
the walls), but for awhile there with 3 kids under 5 and then the bigger
kids too, I simply didn't have time to clean up everything and make sure
everybody was safe.
After I came in from helping Adriane do something with her goats to find
then 2 year old Michelle cutting holes in the recliner with scissors that
had been left out, it became the responsibility of who got them out to put
them away.
After I walked into the kitchen to find then 2 yo Daniel using a buck knife
to saw through the leg on the kitchen chair, it became Zach's responsibility
to keep his knife put away when not using it.
We have a quite large, roomy (if rather ramshackle) home that is wonderful
for a large family but the downside is that I can't be everywhere at all
times. We have had numerous and varied discussions about how to work
together on this. Personal responsibility is what is working well for us
currently.
Julie
Fetteroll
on 7/2/02 1:35 PM, Julie Stauffer at jnjstau@... wrote:
If there are no toddlers, mom insisting that art must be cleaned up "because
we're supposed to" isn't really understandable in terms of "must". It *is*
just the way mom wants it. What will happen if it isn't cleaned up? The
house will be messy? And?
But if there are toddlers, mom saying to the older kids "If the scissors are
left out, Little Dimitri might find them and slice up the curtains," or "If
the markers are left out Little Annika might color all over your trading
cards" is perfectly understandable. They might still forget! But at least
they understand the reasoning behind it. There are real understandble
potential consequences to not cleaning up.
Joyce
> But I wonder....sometimes clean up isn'tThat at least has a reason behind it that kids can understand.
> about what mom wants or what her standards are, sometimes its about safety
> of younger members of the house.
If there are no toddlers, mom insisting that art must be cleaned up "because
we're supposed to" isn't really understandable in terms of "must". It *is*
just the way mom wants it. What will happen if it isn't cleaned up? The
house will be messy? And?
But if there are toddlers, mom saying to the older kids "If the scissors are
left out, Little Dimitri might find them and slice up the curtains," or "If
the markers are left out Little Annika might color all over your trading
cards" is perfectly understandable. They might still forget! But at least
they understand the reasoning behind it. There are real understandble
potential consequences to not cleaning up.
Joyce