[email protected]

In a message dated 6/30/2002 12:54:32 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
> If the cleanliness of the kitchen were my first priority, they wouldn't be
> allowed to use it at all.
>
I have a friend, Caroline, in whose house this was a reality. Her mom refused
to have her in the kitchen AT ALL. The first time she'd ever cooked anything
we were in our early teens at my house; we made breakfast (bacon, eggs,
grits, etc.). She was AMAZED at how cooking "happened". I can still see her
face! A year later, my dad taught her how to make and flip crepes---she was
thrilled!

I remember making breakfast when I was six---burnt toast and VERY crisp bacon
and eggs with surely undrinkable coffee---for my parents as
"breakfast-in-bed" with no assistance. They smiled as they forced down every
bite.

I also remember almost burning down the kitchen making homemade french fries
(cut up potatoes and deep fried!) when no one was at home (I was seven!).
Luckily a neighbor was available to put out the fire!

I have no fear in the kitchen. Not everything is palatable <G>, but it's
always fun! I hope my boys feel the same way!

Caroline now eats out most meals or her husband cooks.

Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

<<I have no fear in the kitchen. Not everything is palatable <G>, but
it's
always fun! I hope my boys feel the same way!

Caroline now eats out most meals or her husband cooks.

Kelly>>

So if you don't let your kids learn how to cook they will be able to eat
out or have someone else cook for them? Maybe Caroline's parents knew
something? *grin* I really did understand your point and agree but I'm
not sure if the last sentence there helps your case. LOL

Kris

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Cheryl Duke

<snip>It sounds like she cooks when she is inspired to do so, but maybe that
isn't that often :-)

That is the best time to cook. The only time I can sew is when the
inspiration or the mood hits me. Luckily I don't have anyone else deciding
when I can or cannot do so. I believe it is the same for children. If the
inspiration or mood hits them to do something special we should try to let
them do it then and there if at all possible. Opportunities can be lost
otherwise. Once they have been denied too many times they will stop asking.
Why suffocate their desires for certain experiences?

For instance, it is raining here and I have four happy children dancing on
my back patio getting wet. My parents wouldn't have allowed that. It would
have been too much trouble to get out towels for everyone....they might
track in mud.....etc, etc.... The neighbor girl just came in to tell me my
kids were playing with the sidewalk chalk and getting it all over their
shirts. I told her that's what we have a washing machine for....lol. She
doesn't know how to let go and have fun. I know how she feels, it took me
years to figure it out. I don't want my kids to go through that.

On the other hand I know it isn't possible to do that. My son has been
wanting to go to Legoland in San Diego. We just can't afford that right
now. Hopefully we will be able to soon. But we say yes as much as we
possibly can. It makes saying no a little easier when we have to.

Cheryl

Nora or Devereaux Cannon

I think the biggest mind shift for most of us it to switch the
default setting from "no" to "yes" .. of course that "yes" is
sometimes followed by some necessary qualifiers. like "Yes I
agree going to Lego land is a great idea - we have to figure out
how to budget it."
----- Original Message -----
From: "Cheryl Duke" <cheryl@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, July 01, 2002 3:25 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] family responsibilities


| <snip>It sounds like she cooks when she is inspired to do so,
but maybe that
| isn't that often :-)
|
| That is the best time to cook. The only time I can sew is when
the
| inspiration or the mood hits me. Luckily I don't have anyone
else deciding
| when I can or cannot do so. I believe it is the same for
children. If the
| inspiration or mood hits them to do something special we should
try to let
| them do it then and there if at all possible. Opportunities
can be lost
| otherwise. Once they have been denied too many times they will
stop asking.
| Why suffocate their desires for certain experiences?
|
| For instance, it is raining here and I have four happy children
dancing on
| my back patio getting wet. My parents wouldn't have allowed
that. It would
| have been too much trouble to get out towels for
everyone....they might
| track in mud.....etc, etc.... The neighbor girl just came in
to tell me my
| kids were playing with the sidewalk chalk and getting it all
over their
| shirts. I told her that's what we have a washing machine
for....lol. She
| doesn't know how to let go and have fun. I know how she feels,
it took me
| years to figure it out. I don't want my kids to go through
that.
|
| On the other hand I know it isn't possible to do that. My son
has been
| wanting to go to Legoland in San Diego. We just can't afford
that right
| now. Hopefully we will be able to soon. But we say yes as
much as we
| possibly can. It makes saying no a little easier when we have
to.
|
| Cheryl
|
|
| If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list,
please email the Moderator, Joyce Fetteroll, at
fetteroll@...
|
| To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
| [email protected]
|
| Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
|
| Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
|
|
|

Debra Kattler

I'm not Caroline but I think she makes a lovely point about
cooking (or doing whatever) because we enjoy it. And if we
choose to not do it, that's fine too. It sounds like she
cooks when she is inspired to do so, but maybe that isn't
that often :-)

Debra

louisam1@... wrote:

> <<I have no fear in the kitchen. Not everything is
> palatable <G>, but
> it's
> always fun! I hope my boys feel the same way!
>
> Caroline now eats out most meals or her husband cooks.
>
> Kelly>>
>
> So if you don't let your kids learn how to cook they will
> be able to eat
> out or have someone else cook for them? Maybe Caroline's
> parents knew
> something? *grin* I really did understand your point and
> agree but I'm
> not sure if the last sentence there helps your case. LOL
>
> Kris
>
>
> _______________________________________________________________
>
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>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this
> list, please email the Moderator, Joyce Fetteroll, at
> fetteroll@...
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms
> of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cheryl Duke

> I think the biggest mind shift for most of us it to switch the
> default setting from "no" to "yes" .. of course that "yes" is
> sometimes followed by some necessary qualifiers. like "Yes I
> agree going to Lego land is a great idea - we have to figure out
> how to budget it."

It's not an easy shift when you've been trained to say "no." Someday it
will become natural. I still realize at the end of the day that there were
a few instances where I said no and didn't really have to. It always
happens when I am getting pulled in five different directions at once or I'm
really tired. Then the "automatic" old me kicks in. I wonder how long it
will take until I am re-wired to automatically say "yes."

Cheryl

Tia Leschke

>I think the biggest mind shift for most of us it to switch the
>default setting from "no" to "yes" ..

Oh yes!
One of the things that bugged me the most about my ex-mil was her automatic
"no" to every request from her kids. Very frequently it would turn into a
"yes" after they argued with her, but it always started out as "no". So
they learned to argue with everything she said.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Tia Leschke

>It's not an easy shift when you've been trained to say "no." Someday it
>will become natural. I still realize at the end of the day that there were
>a few instances where I said no and didn't really have to. It always
>happens when I am getting pulled in five different directions at once or I'm
>really tired. Then the "automatic" old me kicks in. I wonder how long it
>will take until I am re-wired to automatically say "yes."

You could start by making it, "Maybe. I'll think about it."
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Cheryl Duke

> You could start by making it, "Maybe. I'll think about it."
> Tia

I might just do that when I am feeling overwhelmed. That would buy me a
little time to relax.
thanks
Cheryl

Sue

> >I think the biggest mind shift for most of us it to switch the
> >default setting from "no" to "yes" ..
>
Since becoming parents we have had to retrain ourselves from that automatic
no. So when the littlies would play with something dangerous - like the
electric cords I would say "stop, that is dangerous" - I would also try and
say yes as much as possible - ie/ the other day my son asked his dad if he
could make some pancakes - dad said "not just yet I am cleaning" My son had
a melt down - I said to my partner that in the same situation I would say
"yes that sounds great, lets clear up this mess so that we have room to
cook" I get the child who not only helps clean up (well sometimes) but one
who doesn't have a melt down but waits more patiently. It's just the way you
say it, I believe.

Sue