Kids learning responsibility
Julie Stauffer
<<For those of you who say kids will learn responsibility>>
Personally, I think a lot of responsibility-type behaviors depend on
personality. Some may even be inherited.
My kids were adopted and none of them are biologically related. However, I
know their birthfamilies (even had siblings live with us at times) and the
kids' "responsibility levels" tend to be closer to their birth siblings than
to their adoptive siblings. Let me say that all the kids have lived with us
since they were newborns. We are the only family they have ever known.
Adriane is "Miss Responsibility". Her room is clean, her animals cared
for, used her allowance to start a savings account to save for a trailer for
her 4-H project, when considering having her ears pierced she talked with
about 20 people to get their experiences, talked to the people who do the
piercing and paid for it herself. She has rarely done anything we have
asked her not to. Her birthmother is much the same way.
Zach is "Wild Man". His room is raunchy, money burns a hole in his pocket,
he breaks or loses most things he comes in contact with. His birthfather is
much the same way.
Marsie is "Everybody's Best Friend". She has never met a stranger, would
think nothing of getting in the car with someone she didn't know, makes
friends everywhere she goes, has no problem "mooching" off acquaintances,
dismantles everything she plays with whether it is hers or not. Her
birthsister lived with us for 8 months prior to Marsie being born and the
girls are very similar.
Danny is "Mr. Destructo". He lives his life at full speed, is heedless of
any dangers even after being pointedly warned about them, he runs off,
constantly explores and climbs, has big falling in the floor fits whenever
any little thing doesn't happen the way he wants. He is a carbon copy of
his brother.
Michelle I don't know about because I have little contact with her
birthfamily.
All my kids have had the same behavior modeled for them, the same
explanations, the same cautions about things......very different results.
Julie
Personally, I think a lot of responsibility-type behaviors depend on
personality. Some may even be inherited.
My kids were adopted and none of them are biologically related. However, I
know their birthfamilies (even had siblings live with us at times) and the
kids' "responsibility levels" tend to be closer to their birth siblings than
to their adoptive siblings. Let me say that all the kids have lived with us
since they were newborns. We are the only family they have ever known.
Adriane is "Miss Responsibility". Her room is clean, her animals cared
for, used her allowance to start a savings account to save for a trailer for
her 4-H project, when considering having her ears pierced she talked with
about 20 people to get their experiences, talked to the people who do the
piercing and paid for it herself. She has rarely done anything we have
asked her not to. Her birthmother is much the same way.
Zach is "Wild Man". His room is raunchy, money burns a hole in his pocket,
he breaks or loses most things he comes in contact with. His birthfather is
much the same way.
Marsie is "Everybody's Best Friend". She has never met a stranger, would
think nothing of getting in the car with someone she didn't know, makes
friends everywhere she goes, has no problem "mooching" off acquaintances,
dismantles everything she plays with whether it is hers or not. Her
birthsister lived with us for 8 months prior to Marsie being born and the
girls are very similar.
Danny is "Mr. Destructo". He lives his life at full speed, is heedless of
any dangers even after being pointedly warned about them, he runs off,
constantly explores and climbs, has big falling in the floor fits whenever
any little thing doesn't happen the way he wants. He is a carbon copy of
his brother.
Michelle I don't know about because I have little contact with her
birthfamily.
All my kids have had the same behavior modeled for them, the same
explanations, the same cautions about things......very different results.
Julie