Re: Digest 2123 - Debbie's question
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
Debbie, Group,
Debbie asks, >> what you told you kids when you began homeschooling?<<
Our son chose to go to a Montessori school when he was just 4. He returned
home from that school (across the alley) after attending about ten sessions
and said, "I don't want to go there any more."
We were glad because we were interested in homeschooling and really didn't
think he was learning there. We told him, "Fine, you can be in charge of
your own education from now on."
He smiled and said, "Good, I'll do it."
Thus, we UNschooled from the start, once he no longer wanted school.
From that day on, he didn't attend any school, never looked at school books,
did NO school-type lessons, had no curriculum, no school subjects, no tests
or grades, and we, his parents, did not "teach" him anything that he didn't
request from us. Along with being in charge of his learning, he knew that he
was in charge of his LIFE, meaning that he would make many decisions that
would affect his life.
He enjoyed reading. I think that was true largely because we read to him
from early on and he loved the stories in children's books, and was
delighted to tell us one day that now he knew how to read. He was just 4,
and could read amazingly well.
With control over his own life, he knew that he was trusted to make good
judgments for himself. We strongly believe that he knew that the key to
learning was reading, and he had picked up phonics without instruction.
After that, his own curiosity led him to everything he found interesting. It
also helped that he learned how to use a library when he was small. He would
go to a library ever week (at least once) and fill his large book bag and
bring it home for his reading.
At age 18, he decided to go to college. He took the SAT and scored higher
than half of the high school valedictorians in the state of CT. He was
immediately accepted to the only college he applied for. He was never off
the dean's list and just graduated Magna Cum Laude.
What to tell your kids...? Tell them that you know they are intelligent, and
that they can learn and/or do anything they choose. They don't need to study
any school stuff unless they want to. They can simply follow their own
curiosities and they will end up far ahead of their friends in school. Their
REAL LIFE CAN NOW BEGIN. Tell them that they own their lives -- nobody else
does.
The record of homeschooling is proving it to be a much more broadening
method of growing than attending school. It also allows a young person to
find out how to become responsible and self-reliant, while schools only
teach them to be dependent, to wait for others to tell them what to do, and
to follow orders -- for their whole lives. ):O
Our son took night adult classes at the high school where he learned
calligraphy, and conversational French. He went to the local craft center
for courses and had jobs at local museums that he liked a lot. He also went
to work at fourteen making jewelry, and at sixteen clerking at the video
rental store where he became assistant manager in record time. He really
liked buying his own clothes, even his own computer with his own earned
money.
Tell your kids that they are on their own paths, but that you are (and will
always be) there to help them whenever they ask. You can also help them to
find other people to help if they want that. Do not try to be their main
teacher. That can spoil your relationship with them, and that's the most
important thing.
Ned Vare
PS For more hints about unschooling, try our webpage:
www.borntoexplore/unschool and/or send an email to me at nedvare@...
for our packet of information. Luz and I send out several every day on
request. Best wishes.
Debbie asks, >> what you told you kids when you began homeschooling?<<
Our son chose to go to a Montessori school when he was just 4. He returned
home from that school (across the alley) after attending about ten sessions
and said, "I don't want to go there any more."
We were glad because we were interested in homeschooling and really didn't
think he was learning there. We told him, "Fine, you can be in charge of
your own education from now on."
He smiled and said, "Good, I'll do it."
Thus, we UNschooled from the start, once he no longer wanted school.
From that day on, he didn't attend any school, never looked at school books,
did NO school-type lessons, had no curriculum, no school subjects, no tests
or grades, and we, his parents, did not "teach" him anything that he didn't
request from us. Along with being in charge of his learning, he knew that he
was in charge of his LIFE, meaning that he would make many decisions that
would affect his life.
He enjoyed reading. I think that was true largely because we read to him
from early on and he loved the stories in children's books, and was
delighted to tell us one day that now he knew how to read. He was just 4,
and could read amazingly well.
With control over his own life, he knew that he was trusted to make good
judgments for himself. We strongly believe that he knew that the key to
learning was reading, and he had picked up phonics without instruction.
After that, his own curiosity led him to everything he found interesting. It
also helped that he learned how to use a library when he was small. He would
go to a library ever week (at least once) and fill his large book bag and
bring it home for his reading.
At age 18, he decided to go to college. He took the SAT and scored higher
than half of the high school valedictorians in the state of CT. He was
immediately accepted to the only college he applied for. He was never off
the dean's list and just graduated Magna Cum Laude.
What to tell your kids...? Tell them that you know they are intelligent, and
that they can learn and/or do anything they choose. They don't need to study
any school stuff unless they want to. They can simply follow their own
curiosities and they will end up far ahead of their friends in school. Their
REAL LIFE CAN NOW BEGIN. Tell them that they own their lives -- nobody else
does.
The record of homeschooling is proving it to be a much more broadening
method of growing than attending school. It also allows a young person to
find out how to become responsible and self-reliant, while schools only
teach them to be dependent, to wait for others to tell them what to do, and
to follow orders -- for their whole lives. ):O
Our son took night adult classes at the high school where he learned
calligraphy, and conversational French. He went to the local craft center
for courses and had jobs at local museums that he liked a lot. He also went
to work at fourteen making jewelry, and at sixteen clerking at the video
rental store where he became assistant manager in record time. He really
liked buying his own clothes, even his own computer with his own earned
money.
Tell your kids that they are on their own paths, but that you are (and will
always be) there to help them whenever they ask. You can also help them to
find other people to help if they want that. Do not try to be their main
teacher. That can spoil your relationship with them, and that's the most
important thing.
Ned Vare
PS For more hints about unschooling, try our webpage:
www.borntoexplore/unschool and/or send an email to me at nedvare@...
for our packet of information. Luz and I send out several every day on
request. Best wishes.
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/21/02 9:35:30 PM, nedvare@... writes:
<< The record of homeschooling is proving it to be a much more broadening
method of growing than attending school. It also allows a young person to
find out how to become responsible and self-reliant, while schools only
teach them to be dependent, to wait for others to tell them what to do, and
to follow orders -- for their whole lives. >>
There are homeschoolers teaching that same thing.
Not unschoolers, but scores (I fear it might be tens of thousands) of
fundamentalists who teach discipline above all else, and doing NOTHING that
would displease church, family, or God (in that order, from some of what I've
read and seen).
Not even the parents intend to be dependent or self-reliant. Pat Farenga had
a thousand people walk out of a talk he was giving at a Christian
homeschooling conference. There were still over a thousand left in the room,
but hundreds of people stood up and walked because Pat had said homeschooled
kids should have the right to choose whether or not to learn something, or
the right to say "no, thanks," or some such statement which unschoolers find
to be in the innocuous-to-basic range.
While I think Ned's statement above is true of unschooling, I know it to be a
stretch for a huge number of homeschoolers.
I loved this part best, though: <<You can also help them to
find other people to help if they want that. Do not try to be their main
teacher. That can spoil your relationship with them, and that's the most
important thing.>>
The second or third year I was homeschooling, someone came to an online forum
*totally* effusive about homeschooling, and her ultimate hope came gushing
out: "You can be your child's only teacher!!" I got chills. Who would
want to be another person's only teacher/helper/witness to reality?
I bet she got over that. But the expression of the idea that it was a
glorious prospect chilled me deeper than anything I'd heard from any
homeschooler.
Sandra
<< The record of homeschooling is proving it to be a much more broadening
method of growing than attending school. It also allows a young person to
find out how to become responsible and self-reliant, while schools only
teach them to be dependent, to wait for others to tell them what to do, and
to follow orders -- for their whole lives. >>
There are homeschoolers teaching that same thing.
Not unschoolers, but scores (I fear it might be tens of thousands) of
fundamentalists who teach discipline above all else, and doing NOTHING that
would displease church, family, or God (in that order, from some of what I've
read and seen).
Not even the parents intend to be dependent or self-reliant. Pat Farenga had
a thousand people walk out of a talk he was giving at a Christian
homeschooling conference. There were still over a thousand left in the room,
but hundreds of people stood up and walked because Pat had said homeschooled
kids should have the right to choose whether or not to learn something, or
the right to say "no, thanks," or some such statement which unschoolers find
to be in the innocuous-to-basic range.
While I think Ned's statement above is true of unschooling, I know it to be a
stretch for a huge number of homeschoolers.
I loved this part best, though: <<You can also help them to
find other people to help if they want that. Do not try to be their main
teacher. That can spoil your relationship with them, and that's the most
important thing.>>
The second or third year I was homeschooling, someone came to an online forum
*totally* effusive about homeschooling, and her ultimate hope came gushing
out: "You can be your child's only teacher!!" I got chills. Who would
want to be another person's only teacher/helper/witness to reality?
I bet she got over that. But the expression of the idea that it was a
glorious prospect chilled me deeper than anything I'd heard from any
homeschooler.
Sandra
Lewis
Luz,
I am unable toe email you for the information packet! I have tried
unsuccessfully three times now, the email comes back to me as undeliverable,
permanent fatal errors, etc....
D. Lewis
PO BOX 1645
Sequim, WA 98382
Thanks
I am unable toe email you for the information packet! I have tried
unsuccessfully three times now, the email comes back to me as undeliverable,
permanent fatal errors, etc....
D. Lewis
PO BOX 1645
Sequim, WA 98382
Thanks
Weslea Gaskins
This email address does not belong to Luz. She is unknown to the owner of
this email address.
Respectfully yours, Wes Gaskins
this email address.
Respectfully yours, Wes Gaskins
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lewis" <lapin@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, June 22, 2002 1:03 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Luz
> Luz,
>
> I am unable toe email you for the information packet! I have tried
> unsuccessfully three times now, the email comes back to me as
undeliverable,
> permanent fatal errors, etc....
>
> D. Lewis
> PO BOX 1645
> Sequim, WA 98382
>
> Thanks
>
>
>
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