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In a message dated 6/20/02 1:53:17 PM, debra@... writes:

<< I believe it is my role as a parent, to help my children not
experience negative consequences if I can help it. >>

Yeah, me too. I will call out "Anyone have any black laundry?" if a black
load is going in. I make sure Holly's right "uniform" is ready for her
acting class and Kirby's gi is done in time for karate. Maybe he does it,
but I make sure it's done one way or the other.


<<Sure,
you can't prevent them all but I would not stand by and
watch that bad thing happen for the sake of a lesson. >>

Me either.

There have been a few times (not too many!) when Kirby would have overslept
and been late to work if I hadn't woken him up. It would be horrible of me
to just look at the clock and let him sleep. I wouldn't do that for ANYONE
even if was neutral about them, yet some people claim to do that for people
they're supposed to love, "so they'll learn responsibility." I think they
learn cold cruelty.

Sandra

Tia Leschke

>There have been a few times (not too many!) when Kirby would have overslept
>and been late to work if I hadn't woken him up. It would be horrible of me
>to just look at the clock and let him sleep. I wouldn't do that for ANYONE
>even if was neutral about them, yet some people claim to do that for people
>they're supposed to love, "so they'll learn responsibility." I think they
>learn cold cruelty.

I also would wake someone up under those circumstances. But if it became a
regular habit, I'd let them know I wasn't going to be their alarm anymore
and then stop. While I'm not out to "teach a lesson", I'm also not going
to enable irresponsibility.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Amy Thomlinson

My husband used to lay in bed until we would be late
for school. I would literally have to put his shoes
and socks on for him to get him dressed so we could
get to class. Finally one day I told him I was
leaving in 15 minutes and he just laid there, Five
minutes later I warned him I was leaving five minutes
after that I warned him one more time and then I just
left when I said I would. He missed school and work
that day and the next day he got up and got dressed
and got out to the car on time and I never had a
problem after that..so sometimes a person just has to
give up and let the person take responsibility. My
sons are the same way. If I give an inch they take a
mile. But one time of having to live with the
consequences and they seem to learn whereas if there
are no consquences if I always do everything for them
then they just take advantage of that.


--- Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:
>
>
> I also would wake someone up under those
> circumstances. But if it became a
> regular habit, I'd let them know I wasn't going to
> be their alarm anymore
> and then stop. While I'm not out to "teach a
> lesson", I'm also not going
> to enable irresponsibility.
> Tia
>
> No one can make you feel inferior without your
> consent.
> Eleanor Roosevelt
> *********************************************
> Tia Leschke
> leschke@...
> On Vancouver Island
>
>
>
>
>
>
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On Fri, 21 Jun 2002 11:05:10 -0700 (PDT) Amy Thomlinson
<diamond_h2o@...> writes:
> My sons are the same way. If I give an inch they take a
> mile. But one time of having to live with the
> consequences and they seem to learn whereas if there
> are no consquences if I always do everything for them
> then they just take advantage of that.

Reading this made me feel sad.

Living with people who are always waiting to take advantage of you
doesn't sound very pleasant.

If you want to read more about families who trust each other and aren't
worried about being taken advantage of, this is a good place.

Dar