Making friends with old nagging thoughts ....
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/19/2002 10:50:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
all the old schoolish ways of thinking are not usually going to just
magically vanish from our brains when we decide that unschooling is a good
idea. We've grown up being bombarded with the ideas that "school is a child's
work" and that "nothing is a higher priority than school" and "school comes
first" and so on. All those slogans are in there, in our heads. And, even
though there IS more support and more "evidence" (real live unschoolers,
growing up and leading interesting, happy, joyful, successful lives), we are
STILL doing something very "fringy" and if OUR kids turn out to be axe
murderers or complete sloths - we'll blame ourselves and so will others think
it is OUR fault since we did this weird thing and not only didn't send them
to school, we didn't even school them at home. So - I think that if a sense
of standing precariously on an edge of some sort pops up occasionally, in our
minds, we shouldn't be too surprised.
BUT - when that happens, when we have doubts and fears or are discouraged, it
helps to remember that those feelings sometimes go along with being a parent,
no matter what educational choice we make.
Since I had a child in school, for a while, I can very easily reassure myself
by remembering what it was like to be constantly trying to figure out what
was really going on in her classroom - was the teacher doing a good job? Was
she treating my child fairly? Was my child learning anything worthwhile? WHAT
was she really learning? Weren't they just wasting most of their time there?
Weren't there some really awful hidden lessons being taught? Wasn't my child
being indoctrinated into a very materialistic worldview with values very
different than our family's? Wasn't the social life of the schoolyard looking
increasingingly meanspirited and sexualized, even among 9 and 10 year olds?
Wasn't my child becoming mostly eager to please the teacher, rather than
eager to learn? And, finally, even then, wasn't my child learning a WHOLE lot
more by following her own interests outside of school than the mostly-twaddle
she was being exposed to in school - even when it was presented in
interesting, multiple-intelligence-based ways?
One example of the latter always comes to mind. I was working as a classroom
volunteer. The "unit" the class was working on was the human body. This
lesson was about "joints" -- they looked at diagrams of different kinds of
joints in the human body, memorized names of different parts, and then had
the "hands-on" part of the lesson which consisted of taping popsicle sticks
to their thumbs and fingers so that they couldn't bend the joints and then
trying to pick up various items such as paper clips, staples, pencils, etc.
Not a bad idea - lots of fun - gets the point across about the importance of
joints. Except - there are 35 children in the class and each one needs to
have the popsicle sticks taped to their fingers. This turns out to be a huge
mess - the kids don't have the dexterity to easily tape up each other's
fingers. The tape twists and sticks on itself and when they start pulling it
off - they're are yelping in pain as it is pulled off their skin. The
popsicle sticks are so long that they dig into their hands and the kids start
complaining about the pain. Some do NOT want to do it - they don't like the
stuff being stuck to their hands. Many are just frustrated, not being able to
get the sticks taped on sturdily enough to keep them from bending their
fingers. It takes FOREVER to get everybody taped up and satisfied. Then -
they are supposed to be in 5 teams and there are stations with bowls of
different things to try to pick up at each station. There are recordkeeping
forms at each station. Each kid is supposed to get a certain amount of time
and they are supposed to keep track of how many of each item the team was
able to pick up - how many cotton balls, how many paper clips, etc. They have
stopwatches but now everybody has to stop and learn to use them. More time
gone by - and I can see the teacher is getting tense because the time
allotted for "science" is almost finished and they haven't even started the
actual activity yet. So, fnally the teams are starting to pick things up -
each kid getting 30 seconds for each item. All goes well for a while, but by
the time they're moving to the 3rd set of items to pick up, they are
extrememly BORED and lots of kids are "acting up". There is a LOT of waiting
time - always six kids watching while the seventh is doing the picking up.
When they move to another station, it is just more of the same - with
different items. They've LEARNED the lesson about joints being important -
but they still have to go through all the stations and keep score even though
none of them actually CARE who picks up the most items. They're in the middle
of this when the bell rings for the 20 minute recess. NO time to take off the
splints - so they go out wearing them. Of course, that is a big no-no ----
the playground aide spends the whole recess removing them from the fingers of
little boys who are using them as weapons. Recess is over and they return to
the classroom - they didn't finish the science activity, but there is no more
time for that anyway, so they don't all get to do all the stations and most
don't really care except that some items were more fun to fool with than
others and some kids complain that it isn't fair that they didn't get to do
those.
Too bad - time to go on to "reading workshop." Before they on the book the
class is reading together, the teacher asks them to remember what they'd read
last. Several kids respond to her leading questions and they "review" what's
happened up to then in the book. THEN they take out their reading journals
and they are supposed to write about what they think is going to happen next.
My daughter has read this book before - so she raises her hand and asks the
teacher what to write if she already knows what is going to happen. The
teacher says, "Pretend you don't know and write what you think you would have
thought would happen next if you didn't already know." (Right - well, this is
writing that the child is surely going to think really "matters"
:::sarcasm::::) But she does it. Then they start the reading. One child is
picked to read aloud - 34 others are supposed to be reading along. I can see
that most are not - many are just daydreaming, some of doodling or just
playing with their fingers or hair, few eyes are on the book. Some are
surreptitiously reading ahead. MY daughter has put another book in her lap -
she's reading that while holding the class book up in front of her and I'm
pretty sure the teacher knows it, that this is sort of tacitly okayed by her.
When it is her turn to read, she looks at the teacher who tells her the page
number and where to start.
When the reading is finished, finally, it is time for computer lab - once a
week for an hour or so. The kids are paired up - my daughter is paired with a
boy who is one of the "behavior problem" kids - a boy who doesn't yet read
and is often bored and causing trouble. They have a long list of things they
are supposed to do - a numbered list. They have 45 minutes to do 30 things.
They are supposed to alternate, first one does number 1 on the list, then the
other kid does number 2 on the list, etc. Number one on the list is to drag
something certain spot. The other kid doesn't know how to drag using the
cursor. So my daughter tries to explain it to him - finally she puts her hand
on his and tries to help him do it. The computer lab teacher happens to walk
by right at that moment and snaps at her to let him do his own work. So she
sits back and doesn't help him. He got the idea of dragging, but now he
doesn't know which WAY to drag it - he doesn't appear to understand left
versus right, in fact. I go over and help him and the computer lab teacher
doesn't yell at me. My daughter gets to do her item - which takes about 5
seconds, and then it is back to the other kid. That's it - he is never able
to do his second one and she never gets another turn on the computer.
Forty-five minutes of sitting, frustrated, not being allowed to help or do
anything herself. Add to that the time it took to line the kids up and get to
and from the computer lab.
WHAT did they really learn from all this? This is a REALLY big question and,
once I started answering it in depth, I couldn't leave my children there AND
it led inexorably to unschooling - because a lot of the answers applied
equally to school-at-home as to school-at-school.
Couldn't my child have been at home - comfortably sipping a cup of cocoa and
reading one of her favorite books? Or maybe we could be at the nursery,
buying ladybugs to release in our garden to control the aphids? Or we could
be camping? Or going to a museum? Or playing a game? Or amost ANYTHING else
including just sitting at home chatting or sleeping?
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
>Luz -- I just loved this. I think it is so helpful for people to realize that
> Isn't it great -- all this support. Make friends with the old nagging
> thoughts & carry on. Mine still creep in once in awhile, even though our
> dear totally unschooled son just graduated (with honors) from college.
all the old schoolish ways of thinking are not usually going to just
magically vanish from our brains when we decide that unschooling is a good
idea. We've grown up being bombarded with the ideas that "school is a child's
work" and that "nothing is a higher priority than school" and "school comes
first" and so on. All those slogans are in there, in our heads. And, even
though there IS more support and more "evidence" (real live unschoolers,
growing up and leading interesting, happy, joyful, successful lives), we are
STILL doing something very "fringy" and if OUR kids turn out to be axe
murderers or complete sloths - we'll blame ourselves and so will others think
it is OUR fault since we did this weird thing and not only didn't send them
to school, we didn't even school them at home. So - I think that if a sense
of standing precariously on an edge of some sort pops up occasionally, in our
minds, we shouldn't be too surprised.
BUT - when that happens, when we have doubts and fears or are discouraged, it
helps to remember that those feelings sometimes go along with being a parent,
no matter what educational choice we make.
Since I had a child in school, for a while, I can very easily reassure myself
by remembering what it was like to be constantly trying to figure out what
was really going on in her classroom - was the teacher doing a good job? Was
she treating my child fairly? Was my child learning anything worthwhile? WHAT
was she really learning? Weren't they just wasting most of their time there?
Weren't there some really awful hidden lessons being taught? Wasn't my child
being indoctrinated into a very materialistic worldview with values very
different than our family's? Wasn't the social life of the schoolyard looking
increasingingly meanspirited and sexualized, even among 9 and 10 year olds?
Wasn't my child becoming mostly eager to please the teacher, rather than
eager to learn? And, finally, even then, wasn't my child learning a WHOLE lot
more by following her own interests outside of school than the mostly-twaddle
she was being exposed to in school - even when it was presented in
interesting, multiple-intelligence-based ways?
One example of the latter always comes to mind. I was working as a classroom
volunteer. The "unit" the class was working on was the human body. This
lesson was about "joints" -- they looked at diagrams of different kinds of
joints in the human body, memorized names of different parts, and then had
the "hands-on" part of the lesson which consisted of taping popsicle sticks
to their thumbs and fingers so that they couldn't bend the joints and then
trying to pick up various items such as paper clips, staples, pencils, etc.
Not a bad idea - lots of fun - gets the point across about the importance of
joints. Except - there are 35 children in the class and each one needs to
have the popsicle sticks taped to their fingers. This turns out to be a huge
mess - the kids don't have the dexterity to easily tape up each other's
fingers. The tape twists and sticks on itself and when they start pulling it
off - they're are yelping in pain as it is pulled off their skin. The
popsicle sticks are so long that they dig into their hands and the kids start
complaining about the pain. Some do NOT want to do it - they don't like the
stuff being stuck to their hands. Many are just frustrated, not being able to
get the sticks taped on sturdily enough to keep them from bending their
fingers. It takes FOREVER to get everybody taped up and satisfied. Then -
they are supposed to be in 5 teams and there are stations with bowls of
different things to try to pick up at each station. There are recordkeeping
forms at each station. Each kid is supposed to get a certain amount of time
and they are supposed to keep track of how many of each item the team was
able to pick up - how many cotton balls, how many paper clips, etc. They have
stopwatches but now everybody has to stop and learn to use them. More time
gone by - and I can see the teacher is getting tense because the time
allotted for "science" is almost finished and they haven't even started the
actual activity yet. So, fnally the teams are starting to pick things up -
each kid getting 30 seconds for each item. All goes well for a while, but by
the time they're moving to the 3rd set of items to pick up, they are
extrememly BORED and lots of kids are "acting up". There is a LOT of waiting
time - always six kids watching while the seventh is doing the picking up.
When they move to another station, it is just more of the same - with
different items. They've LEARNED the lesson about joints being important -
but they still have to go through all the stations and keep score even though
none of them actually CARE who picks up the most items. They're in the middle
of this when the bell rings for the 20 minute recess. NO time to take off the
splints - so they go out wearing them. Of course, that is a big no-no ----
the playground aide spends the whole recess removing them from the fingers of
little boys who are using them as weapons. Recess is over and they return to
the classroom - they didn't finish the science activity, but there is no more
time for that anyway, so they don't all get to do all the stations and most
don't really care except that some items were more fun to fool with than
others and some kids complain that it isn't fair that they didn't get to do
those.
Too bad - time to go on to "reading workshop." Before they on the book the
class is reading together, the teacher asks them to remember what they'd read
last. Several kids respond to her leading questions and they "review" what's
happened up to then in the book. THEN they take out their reading journals
and they are supposed to write about what they think is going to happen next.
My daughter has read this book before - so she raises her hand and asks the
teacher what to write if she already knows what is going to happen. The
teacher says, "Pretend you don't know and write what you think you would have
thought would happen next if you didn't already know." (Right - well, this is
writing that the child is surely going to think really "matters"
:::sarcasm::::) But she does it. Then they start the reading. One child is
picked to read aloud - 34 others are supposed to be reading along. I can see
that most are not - many are just daydreaming, some of doodling or just
playing with their fingers or hair, few eyes are on the book. Some are
surreptitiously reading ahead. MY daughter has put another book in her lap -
she's reading that while holding the class book up in front of her and I'm
pretty sure the teacher knows it, that this is sort of tacitly okayed by her.
When it is her turn to read, she looks at the teacher who tells her the page
number and where to start.
When the reading is finished, finally, it is time for computer lab - once a
week for an hour or so. The kids are paired up - my daughter is paired with a
boy who is one of the "behavior problem" kids - a boy who doesn't yet read
and is often bored and causing trouble. They have a long list of things they
are supposed to do - a numbered list. They have 45 minutes to do 30 things.
They are supposed to alternate, first one does number 1 on the list, then the
other kid does number 2 on the list, etc. Number one on the list is to drag
something certain spot. The other kid doesn't know how to drag using the
cursor. So my daughter tries to explain it to him - finally she puts her hand
on his and tries to help him do it. The computer lab teacher happens to walk
by right at that moment and snaps at her to let him do his own work. So she
sits back and doesn't help him. He got the idea of dragging, but now he
doesn't know which WAY to drag it - he doesn't appear to understand left
versus right, in fact. I go over and help him and the computer lab teacher
doesn't yell at me. My daughter gets to do her item - which takes about 5
seconds, and then it is back to the other kid. That's it - he is never able
to do his second one and she never gets another turn on the computer.
Forty-five minutes of sitting, frustrated, not being allowed to help or do
anything herself. Add to that the time it took to line the kids up and get to
and from the computer lab.
WHAT did they really learn from all this? This is a REALLY big question and,
once I started answering it in depth, I couldn't leave my children there AND
it led inexorably to unschooling - because a lot of the answers applied
equally to school-at-home as to school-at-school.
Couldn't my child have been at home - comfortably sipping a cup of cocoa and
reading one of her favorite books? Or maybe we could be at the nursery,
buying ladybugs to release in our garden to control the aphids? Or we could
be camping? Or going to a museum? Or playing a game? Or amost ANYTHING else
including just sitting at home chatting or sleeping?
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]