Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

Laura,

I'm with you, definitely. I'm 67 and have only contempt for such arrogance
and selfishness.

He seems to want to "celebrate" himself, not his family, and especially not
the children. The planning is rude. I feel sure that you are not the only
one who is offended... what? -- your kids are not good enough to enjoy a
meal with your fatherinlaw's friends? Someone should convince (perhaps his
wife) him to include the children. If that cannot be done, and you must
attend, then in order to spare the children the indignity of being used and
snubbed, leave them home, give them a special activity that they would like
(with supervision as required) and go to the party and come home the same
night. Don't stay for the night.

Barring that, I also like your idea of joining your kids for the evening
instead of staying at the adult-only affair. It is sure to be a bore.

Ned Vare