[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/02 4:10:13 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Grandpa did offer to pay for our room when we told him we could not
afford one. Am I being a real pain in the butt? >>

No, I don't think you are at all.
He offered. If it means that much for you to be there and you can't afford
it, then I think it's good and proper that he offered. You may not be able to
go otherwise.
I wouldn't handle family pushing my kids off for an adult party either.
I've had adult dinners out with family, where we got a babysitter that the
kids liked and movies for them to watch, but to send them off in such an
obvious way would not sit well with me either.
I personally wouldn't attend the party.
If he makes such a big deal out of everyone being there and then deliberately
separates the kids, that is very disrespectful of them.
I would do as you already wrote.....find something fun to do with the kids
while everyone else parties away.

Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/02 9:09:52 AM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<< to send them off in such an
obvious way would not sit well with me either.
I personally wouldn't attend the party. >>

He's 80!
People that old are not going to change, and shouldn't need to. They can
just get blissfully old and die (or whatever).

We shouldn't try to change people who are twice our age (three times, for
some of you). We can avoid them, but avoiding a once-in-a-lifetime birthday
seems more cold than productive, and that might not be a good example for the
kids either.

Sandra

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I would go and enjoy myself and I would take the kids because they would
get a real hoot out of staying in a hotel. Lanora is old enough now to
see how some people are clueless about how great kids are. I would
explain the situation to her and she would probably want to go anyway
because she thinks hotels are cool. In fact, she would probably be
relieved to be excused from the party. Jonathan (4) wouldn't care one
way or the other so I would just make sure he was free to have fun with
someone there to care for him.

I agree with your convictions but as long as your honest with the kids
why not just get all the fun out of it that you can for all of you? Your
grandfather isn't going to change or understand your objection. I'm
afraid that instead of a happy memory for all you'll end up with hurt
family members. Perhaps it would be beneficial to show your kids that
sometimes people are more important than convictions, not always but
sometimes. Maybe they will learn how to live a flexible life and retain
their teachability even when they're 80.

Kris

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[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/02 2:20:53 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< We shouldn't try to change people who are twice our age >>

They shouldn't try to change us either!
I won't make my kids miserable for one night, regardless of the circumstances.
So if my kids understood and were fine with it, then I'd go. If not, I'd stay
with them and let dh go.
Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/6/02 3:42:43 PM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<<
<< We shouldn't try to change people who are twice our age >>

<<They shouldn't try to change us either! >>

Right. On MY birthday I get to call the music and the refreshments.

Not too long after people's 80th birthday parties, they die, but those little
kids will likely live another 70 years.

Sandra