Lee Roversi

Aloha dear listmates-

I've really followed this thread with interest - simply because I
continuely have held the view that the single thing I feel least able to
handle in my parenting path is the intensity with which my children can be
so 'mean' to one another and the powerlessness I feel sometimes during
these 'events.' I have really absorbed the responses to the original post
and found several of them to be particularly heartfelt and potentially
effective. I have noticed, however, that there are ebbs and flows to the
negative interactions between my children and shifts in the dynamics at
various times. (With three of them . . .there are more possibilities for
combinations!) I wanted the original mom (Patti? . . . sorry, I don't
remember) to know that I truly believe this disheartening situation will
change, evolve and shift in time. And partly, that will it will be how she
views it and holds it in her consciousness. Not, that one should simply
wait . . . all the various suggestions are worthy of contemplation and
possible application . . . but it should cease to serve them someday. And,
I wonder does she get the feedback from other people how amazing her boys
are together when not with her? That one always gets me! . . . often people
comment on how devoted and caring and supportive my children are of each
other when elsewhere. In all honesty, I see it too - many times - but
somehow the loud, argumentative, hostile, rude times make a huger
impression. My involvement always makes it worse if I am charged . . .
hence, I like Sandra's last suggestion. But, at times like that I like to
remember the adage - Energy flows where attention goes.

Enough of my rambling. Perhaps I merely settled my own thoughts some.

In aloha,
Lee
North Country Farms
An Organic Family Farm & Tropical B&B Cottages
. . . an eco-tourism destination . . .
P.O. Box 723
Kilauea, HI 96754
http://www.northcountryfarms.com
808-828-1513 phone and voice mail