[email protected]

In a message dated 5/31/02 3:58:24 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I just have this desire to make him "whole" again, and
I don't know if that's a reasonable or attainable
goal. >>

I SO understand what you mean. I feel that way about Trevor sometimes, like
all the damage totally changed who he is.
But that's just it. He is who he is. Right now, today. I can't wave a magic
wand like you wish for.....I can only accept who he is, with all the
experiences that make him who he is. Sure, he might be a different person
than if I'd unschooled from the beginning. But I love the person he is.
And I do believe that by giving him his freedom, just as you have with your
ds, they can know themselves fully again. Not be at odds with what others are
saying they "should" be. Just be themselves. And that's all we can do......
I understand the regret. But we can only go forward and love that amazing
person that they are now, and watch as they unfold into the person that they
will become tomorrow.
Ren

Shelly G

Ren, I know you're right ... it's just tough not to
feel a little guilty. Especially because of Andrew's
"behavior problems" in school. His self-esteem got
pretty wounded, I believe, because he was so
out-of-place in that environment.

I'm grateful he is where he is now, though. And you're
right. I just have to look forward and press on.

Shelly
--- starsuncloud@... wrote:
> In a message dated 5/31/02 3:58:24 PM Central
> Daylight Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> I SO understand what you mean. I feel that way about
> Trevor sometimes, like
> all the damage totally changed who he is.
> But that's just it. He is who he is. Right now,
> today. I can't wave a magic
> wand like you wish for.....I can only accept who he
> is, with all the
> experiences that make him who he is. Sure, he might
> be a different person
> than if I'd unschooled from the beginning. But I
> love the person he is.
> And I do believe that by giving him his freedom,
> just as you have with your
> ds, they can know themselves fully again. Not be at
> odds with what others are
> saying they "should" be. Just be themselves. And
> that's all we can do......
> I understand the regret. But we can only go forward
> and love that amazing
> person that they are now, and watch as they unfold
> into the person that they
> will become tomorrow.
> Ren
>


=====
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does." -- Margaret Mead

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com

Julie Stauffer

<<I see the damage yet today>>

Ren, I totally agree.

My oldest 2 went to school, one for a year and a half, one for 3 months and
then we did school at home for a year. They are much more stifled, for lack
of a better word, in the way they approach problems.

My 3 youngest have never had any type of lessons and they explore the world
in a much different way, much more enthusiasm, more originality....

Julie