Mary Hickman

Hi Joy,

I have a very interpersonal first born daughter. I also have 2 younger
children. When I feel I can no longer keep up with my girl's constant need
for me, I invite friends over or get invited to friend's houses. She has a
constant need for sharing her life. It is how she learns. She does not nor
can I expect her to be alone and thrive. Aloneness is a type of punishment
for Ashley. When I hear I am bored, which happens after hanging out with our
schooled friends by the way, I say my mantra,

"boredom is the soil from which sprouts creativity."

My kids get very tired of this. I really say it over and over if they come
to me bored. The schooled friends of ours think I'm nuts, but they get it.
Ashley's mom does not fix our state of boredom. I also invite my daughter to
hang out with me and fold laundry or wash or cook. Sometimes she does, but
usually she will find herself having lots of ideas of activities.

When you have cool stuff sitting around unused, I find if i move stuff,
maybe check out a kit, the kids are all over me to play with it. Yesterday
we were doing a group stamping project, so I was sorting the stamps,
checking the ink pads. My three kids stamped for over 1 hour. The stamps are
in reach, yet sat untouched until I touched them.

My thoughts so far. As for new baby, they are so fun for older siblings to
help with and an 8 year old can do lots of important jobs including holding
and rocking and burping. Including your son in as much baby stuff as you can
may help satisfy his need to be with you. My older got to watch newborn alot
while I took my daily shower.

Mary



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