TO MARJI
forumtate
MARJI: Hope you don't mind me jumping in -- I'm just a newbie. But
I'm sitting here bored out of my mind because I'm 9 months pg, so I'm
gathering up my courage to post to a few people, even though I'm
new... Feel free to ignore me if you want! *grin*
Your son sounds like the perfect example of a first born/ only child
as told in The Birth Order by Kevin Leman. (actually I think it
was "the new birth order book " or something) I just
finished that
book this weekend. It was VERY interesting. Now, I know we
can't
categorize every person by their personality type, birth-order, sex,
etc but there are some definite indicators of personality based
on our birth order. I encourage you to read it for a reference.
Leman suggests that because first-borns have only adults to emulate
at home, rather than other children, they often set themselves up in
this perfectionist-mode. A lot of times we as parents encourage
that, especially if we're first-borns ourselves (like I am).
Just something to think about. I know it's "pop-psych"
but that
book made a lot of sense to me, FWIW!
Oh, just to give you a sample: some advice the author gives is to
make sure your first-born sees that YOU make mistakes, and it's
no big deal. Say you're sorry or "I was wrong" if you
are. Maybe you
could do an activity together that you're not so good at, to show
your imperfections? Like I'm really bad at jigsaw puzzles... so
maybe I could get one and show my child how hard it is for me to put
together more than the border! Just a thought *grin*
TATE
=o)
I'm sitting here bored out of my mind because I'm 9 months pg, so I'm
gathering up my courage to post to a few people, even though I'm
new... Feel free to ignore me if you want! *grin*
Your son sounds like the perfect example of a first born/ only child
as told in The Birth Order by Kevin Leman. (actually I think it
was "the new birth order book " or something) I just
finished that
book this weekend. It was VERY interesting. Now, I know we
can't
categorize every person by their personality type, birth-order, sex,
etc but there are some definite indicators of personality based
on our birth order. I encourage you to read it for a reference.
Leman suggests that because first-borns have only adults to emulate
at home, rather than other children, they often set themselves up in
this perfectionist-mode. A lot of times we as parents encourage
that, especially if we're first-borns ourselves (like I am).
Just something to think about. I know it's "pop-psych"
but that
book made a lot of sense to me, FWIW!
Oh, just to give you a sample: some advice the author gives is to
make sure your first-born sees that YOU make mistakes, and it's
no big deal. Say you're sorry or "I was wrong" if you
are. Maybe you
could do an activity together that you're not so good at, to show
your imperfections? Like I'm really bad at jigsaw puzzles... so
maybe I could get one and show my child how hard it is for me to put
together more than the border! Just a thought *grin*
TATE
=o)
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/21/02 2:28:53 PM, momtate@... writes:
<< Now, I know we
can't
categorize every person by their personality type, birth-order, sex,
etc… but there are some definite indicators of personality based
on our birth order. >>
Makes sense in a sensible way! <g>
I was the perfectionist and the first-born in my family. Kirby is the
firstborn here.
Bad thing is it stays for life, not just childhood.
Sandra
<< Now, I know we
can't
categorize every person by their personality type, birth-order, sex,
etc… but there are some definite indicators of personality based
on our birth order. >>
Makes sense in a sensible way! <g>
I was the perfectionist and the first-born in my family. Kirby is the
firstborn here.
Bad thing is it stays for life, not just childhood.
Sandra