[email protected]

I wrote this on an AOL message board for unschoolers, it's a run-on collage
of stream-of-consciousness thoughts essay that is from my heart, and I wanted
to share how happy I am to be in the company of such enlightened folks :0)

Subject: Affirmations
Date: 5/20/02 9:09 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: <A HREF="aol://3548:MEGAMOM08">MEGAMOM08</A>
Message-id: <20020520090940.09636.00000889@...>


Clues (verbal and nonverbal) that in the midst of panic attacks, parental
guilt and worry (par for the course my Mom has been warning me for years
about being a parent), and blind faith, that unschooling is the right
decision:

the roar of the schoolbus going by in the morning, without my Megan on it,
while we are still snuggling warm in our beds, thankful the hectic morning
rush is gone for good

Megan saying she has an earache, and not having to worry about sending her to
school, thinking it is an excuse for not going to a place she despises, or
worrying about an unsympathetic teacher ignoring her. Not worrying about her
attendance, despite the fact that earaches are common and painful for her,
among other chronic illnesses she has had, with little compassion from her
teachers. Teachers that won't let her go to the bathroom because this
distracted and impulsive child lost her 8 bathroom "tickets" for the nine
weeks. It's no wonder she has suffered from chronic constipation and
encropretic soiling. Teachers that wouldn't let her go call home, until she
was crying and begging, and they didn't bother to even check that she had a
fever, that didn't appear until after I sheepishly sent her to school,
because I had to draw a line that she can't just miss school for not feeling
her best, I
needed a fever or puke as valid reasons. I can distinctly remember at her
previous school district (she went to one k-3rd, then we moved and I though a
new district would help for 4th HAHA), I was calling her in sick but stated
she may be coming in late, since I didn't know if it was genuine or a school
avoidance tactic. The (insert TOSABLE expletive here) principal suggested I
hang up and threaten her to call the police for incorrigible behavior,
because truancy is illegal. This same (insert again) principal who told me
the school would do nothing for my ADHD-type daughter in the way of providing
individual or custom environment to help her learning style. He suggested we
medicate her, because by law that was all he could do.

Finding old schoolpapers stuffed in the back of her desk drawer, so glad this
busywork is no longer a source of stress and conflict for our family.
Memories of the battle that ensued, when she would constantly "lose" her
assignment, "forget" to write assignments down, or flat out tell me she had
no homework when she did. Refusing to study for a test, telling the teacher
she didn't need to, the teacher calling me about it, then Megan getting a
perfect
score on it. The teacher who also called Megan to the front of the room, to
publicly embarrass her, by having her crying, calling her mother from the
desk phone in front of the entire class to try to tell me she was missing her
assignment again. She couldn't choke up the words, as I demanded to talk to
that teacher now and blast her for attempting such a ridiculous stunt, when
she could have let me know there was problem before this, and scheduled a
conference. The resulting conference that I demanded with all her teachers,
where I was put on the stand to defend our family habits, reassuring: no,
Megan does not have a TV in her room, yes, we do discipline her with love and
consistency, yes, we are her natural parents with no divorce or stepfamily or
live-in lovers, and no, I don't think bribing her with candy bars would be an
effective means of getting her to conform and perform. Finally
redirecting these ladies to stop the faultfinding and come up with a
solution, that I did alone, with no input, and no subsequent consistent
follow-up, to make sure she had the right assignments written down, in
PEN...........shall I continue? No I will spare you anymore laborious details
LOL

Yes, these horrible, sometimes painful, memories are affirmations that she is
where she belongs, home with a family that loves her, supports her, knows her
and cares for her better than someone more "qualified" to baby-sit her, a
mother that has a hard time escaping the guilt of letting such a harmful
charade continue so long, but has faith in God's timing that everything that
has happened was for reason, and thanking God that I have such a
"difficult", "challenging", or "spirited" child, for if not, I might still
believe that school was just fine, if not necessary for a "proper" education,
socialization was just a hard, necessary lesson to endure, and that it's
normal and healthy to surrender my precious child over to this institution.

And finally, the sound of that same school bus, at almost 4pm, even though
the school is five minutes away, hard to believe that is has gotten so late,
we lost track of time in the backyard, chasing bugs, watching for
hummingbirds, fishing and catching dozens of bluegills in the pond, and the
absolute pity I feel for the unsuspecting parents and kids getting off the
bus, who don't have time to come play, they have homework and are way
overscheduled
each evening, wishing they could know the joy we have found.......










Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
|w|w|











































































[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/20/02 7:39:48 AM, megamom08@... writes:

<< The resulting conference that I demanded with all her teachers,
where I was put on the stand to defend our family habits, reassuring: no,
Megan does not have a TV in her room, yes, we do discipline her with love and
consistency, yes, we are her natural parents with no divorce or stepfamily or
live-in lovers, and no, I don't think bribing her with candy bars would be an
effective means of getting her to conform and perform. >>

This is TERRIBLE.

Your post was sweet and uplifting, around the sad parts. I'm sorry your
daughter suffered so much, but I bet she has the same kinds of sweet feelings
about being home that you do about having her there!


Sandra

Shelly G

--- megamom08@... wrote:
> I wrote this on an AOL message board for
> unschoolers, it's a run-on collage
> of stream-of-consciousness thoughts essay that is
> from my heart, and I wanted
> to share how happy I am to be in the company of such
> enlightened folks :0)
>
Reading your post actually brought tears to my eyes,
because so many of the things you shared about your
daughter's experience in school remind me of my son's
experiences before we brought him home to school.

I, too, sometimes feel guilt about not taking him home
sooner, but I know that every day that he's home with
us and not at school is an important gift, and that we
are on the right path for us.

Thanks so much for sharing so beautifully your
experiences! They really touched my heart.

Shelly

P.S. I joined two new groups in the past week and I
can't remember if I've even introduced myself. If I
haven't, please someone let me know and I'll do so.
Thanks :)

=====
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever does." -- Margaret Mead

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience
http://launch.yahoo.com

marji

I'm going to try not to make this too long, but please forgive me if it is.

Here's a long preamble to what I need help with: We took our 7-year-old
son, Liam, our only kid by the way, out of school last February. He was in
"first grade" at a Montessori school. Since the time he was born, we had
always planned not to put him in school at all, but he always craved being
with other kids, and friend of mine had told me about this particular
school and that the director/teacher had a very open mind and that there
was a strong environmental theme to the school. A couple of his good
friends were going there, too, so when he was 4 years old, I set him there
two afternoons a week just to see if he liked it or not. He really did
like it. There was a lot for him to do, and there was a strong drama and
arts component which he really liked. He also liked being able to play
with the other kids, which is his absolute favorite thing. I let the
teacher know that I absolutely did not want anyone pushing academic stuff
on him unless he initiated it or asked.

The next year I asked him if he wanted to stay and go into kindergarten. I
would involve going there five full days, but he would be able to continue
with the same teacher, and we saw each other frequently and became friends,
and she continued to respect my wishes about following his lead. He seemed
to be liking it there, but he was starting to show signs (which I ignored
to my shame now) that he was not liking it so much. He didn't want to go
to school but when he got there he really liked it and at the end of the
day he did not to leave so fast. I thought this was due to inertia, and I
did nothing to change it. Occasionally, he would really resist going to
school, and then I would try to find out what was bugging him and then he
and his teacher and I would have a sit-down and work it out. His teacher
would always let him know that she loved him very much and wanted him to be
happy there. She would do everything she could to make him feel more
comfortable there by changing whatever it was that was bothering him. For
example, when he didn't understand something, he felt uncomfortable about
asking about, so she let him know that he could come to her anytime he was
puzzled about something and they could go somewhere private and she'd
explain things to him.

She was WONDERFUL, but she was not his only teacher, and when he was in the
"first" grade (in K-1-2 class) there was a lot of pressure on him to do the
academic work. He really started hating it. All he really wanted to do
was play with his friends and play with playdough. Playing with his
friends during work time was frowned upon and he'd get in trouble for
that. And, he got the hairy eyeball when he spent too much time playing
with playdough. His teacher decided that she would regard him as a
kindergartener and keep him in a "kindergarten curriculum."

I had my epiphany that all this was way wrong for him this past February
and abruptly took him out of school. He was ecstatic! I told him that we
would be "unschooling," and that I would follow his lead. He understood
that if he wanted to know something or do something he could ask me. I
also told him that I would offer things to do, but that he didn't need to
feel obligated to do it if it wasn't interesting to him. We bought a TV
set with a VCR (the first we had ever had; we don't have TV reception or
cable though), and he can watch whatever tapes he wants.

Okay, here's what's got me now. One of the things I have noticed about
Liam is that he seems to have a very fragile self image. He is either an
expert at something (anything) the first time he attempts it or he's a
total failure and stinks at it. He has a real hard time playing a friendly
game of anything because if he doesn't win, it absolutely crushes him. I
know that lots of kids go through that, but it daunts me nevertheless. I
know he'll generally grow out of it, but what troubles me now is that he
seems to be avoiding things he wants to do because he feels he's no good at
them. Here's an example. This morning he wanted to write some words. He
asked me how to write "opera is closed" and then "opera is on fire." I
wrote them out for him to copy. He got very upset because he wrote the "c"
too close to the "s" in the first phrase. After that, he got very angry
with himself, and there was nothing that I could say to him to encourage
him to try again. He told me that he wanted to learn how to read and write
but that he just couldn't. He told me that a 7-year-old ought to be able
to do these things, and he seemed to feel that he was defective (my word,
not his) because of his inability to do things "everyone else" can. Even
though I told him that there are some expert readers in the world who did
not start reading until they were 10 and 15 years old, he was not comforted.

The thing is, I don't know what to do. Now, he has indicated to me that he
wants to be able to do these things (though not so much because HE wants it
as much as he feels defective for not being able to). I confess that I
really don't know how to help him. I know he is still decompressing from
his brief school experience. His passion is Power Rangers and Star Wars
and that kind of thing. He likes watching them on TV, he likes having
anything about Star Wars or Power Rangers read to him. He likes making up
Power Rangers dramas for himself or he and his friends and playing these
out, either alone or with his friends. I have the closed caption option on
the TV turned on and the words that are being said are also visible on the
screen; I figure that he'll start recognizing some words that way. I was
able to remind him that he read the word "off" the other day, and that
seemed to help his psyche a bit.

I'm a bit at sea with this. I'd love to hear about similar experiences,
and I'd love to get some advice about how I can help him see that he is an
able person but that he can't expect to be an expert right out of the gate.

Thanks very much!!

Marji

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dena Lambert

Ang,
Thanks for sharing this! I got all choked up while reading what your daughter went through because it reminded me of my son's 6 weeks of public school hell. I'm so grateful to have found my way to unschooling and to all of the people on the unschooling lists who daily reinforce that I'm doing the right thing.

Take care,
Dena
----- Original Message -----
From: megamom08@...
Sent: Monday, May 20, 2002 10:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] May I share?


And finally, the sound of that same school bus, at almost 4pm, even though
the school is five minutes away, hard to believe that is has gotten so late,
we lost track of time in the backyard, chasing bugs, watching for
hummingbirds, fishing and catching dozens of bluegills in the pond, and the
absolute pity I feel for the unsuspecting parents and kids getting off the
bus, who don't have time to come play, they have homework and are way
overscheduled
each evening, wishing they could know the joy we have found.......Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/20/02 9:55:18 AM, zintz@... writes:

<< Even
though I told him that there are some expert readers in the world who did
not start reading until they were 10 and 15 years old, he was not comforted.
>>

Kirby was as you describe Liam. I think it's perfectionism, and a desire to
have the thrill of accomplishment and praise. Kirby was very easily
frustrated. He wasn't much fun to play boardgames with, because when it
looked like he might not win, he wasn't in the mood to play anymore.

But now that he's fifteen, he's very well liked, sensitive to other kids'
feelings, and good-humored about his own shortcomings.

<<The thing is, I don't know what to do. Now, he has indicated to me that he
wants to be able to do these things (though not so much because HE wants it
as much as he feels defective for not being able to). I confess that I
really don't know how to help him. >>

I would tell him that both in school and out, reading and writing are made up
of lots of little parts and steps. Making circles and parallel lines,
recognizing rhyming sounds, lots of things which do NOT need to be done in a
school-looking way at all. Tell him that in school the reason they push
early reading is so the kids can read beginner books, but that since you can
read to him he can skip beginner books, and hear REAL books, written for real
people, and not "itchy, itchy chicken pox" kinds of nothingness stories.

Your learning to be comfortable helping him is as much little-parts as his
learning to read or write will be, so work on each day and it will get easier!

Sandra

kayb85

Tell him that in school the reason they push
> early reading is so the kids can read beginner books, but that
since you can
> read to him he can skip beginner books, and hear REAL books,
written for real
> people, and not "itchy, itchy chicken pox" kinds of nothingness
stories.

I've heard this before, that kids don't really like the cutesy story
books written for kids, that they just read them because they've been
taught to read them. I've read that kind of thing from John Holt and
even from Charlotte Mason. Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
cutesy stories. Arthur gets the chicken pox, Barbie makes a friend,
pretty little pony type books. What's the explanation for that? Did
I baby her too much, was I wrong to buy those kinds of books for her
when she was little, should I have only ever read her Tom Sawyer and
Little Women?

Sheila

[email protected]

On Mon, 20 May 2002 17:09:23 -0000 "kayb85" <sheran@...> writes:
>Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
> who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
> cutesy stories.

It could be comic books....

When Cacie was 4 or 5 she found some old school readers that were a
series of plays, very controlled-vocabulary (they were from a the early
seventies, I think, when the pendulum had swung away from phonics, which
suited her just fine) and cutesy. She loved them. We read these plays
over and over, inane tripe like, "Are you in? I am in. I am not in."
Whatever... and then she got past them.

I considered the American Girls books to be totally canned and redundant,
but Cacie read Every Single Book In Chronological Order (she still has a
thing about reading a series in order).

It's all okay.

I suppose I've read some classics to her, I still try to read aloud to
her even though she can also read anything she wants on her own. I read
things to her that I think she'll really enjoy, and remember, because
that was so meaningful to me when I was a kid. We heard a reading of The
Most Dangerous Game on NPR one night, and I remembered reading it years
ago... it was very cool, and she liked the story.

Often I'll read something to her, and it will stixck in her head and a
few years later she'll want to read it to herself... that happened with
The Little Prince, most of which we read on a BART train.

I suppose I really just don't worry about what Charlottee Mason or John
Holt or anyone else said will happen, I just think about what is
happening.

Dar

tamlvee

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., megamom08@a... wrote:
> the roar of the schoolbus going by in the morning, without my Megan
on it,
> while we are still snuggling warm in our beds, thankful the hectic
morning
> rush is gone for good

I, too, was moved by your message. We gave up the horrible morning
rush just a couple of months ago. It is one of the best decisions I
ever made. I did it before my 7yr old daughter got health problems.
I was just hoping that it wasn't too late for my 9yr old son. After
a month away from school he is already starting to become his old
self again. He still slides back to those snotty habits he picked
up, but not as often and his stomach aches are gone. He has also
starting being creative again. He had stopped sketching altogether
after a couple kids in his class teased him about his drawings, how
they couldn't tell what he was supposed to be drawing and how he was
terrible at drawing. These were 3rd graders!? I can't imagine what
kinds of message they are getting from their parents (or maybe other
peers). Now he can be confident in his drawing and hopefully blossom
as an artist. He has big plans to make a comic book and he wants to
film a movie this summer, designing all the costumes, writing the
script, he wants to do it all.

Your message was from your heart, but I sure felt it in mine. Thank
you for sharing it with us.

Tammy

>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

[email protected]

are you sure you aren't me. my daughter went though almost the same thing,
only her teachers refused to speak to me about it, even after speaking to the
principal. this "teacher" if you will not only ridculed her but attacked me
in front of her and tried to get the other children to join in. finally i had
just felt sick after having to send her to school( she has bladder mucles
that are always tensed and sufferes from migrain headaches as well as causing
her to throwup.)and having her call home 1 hour later, and like you i thought
it was a ploy to come home, the principal suggested homeschooling to me if i
couldn't get this attendence problem under controll, or else she would not
pass her state writting test. so i took her out. needless to say she scored
the highest in the fourth grade, the test ended the day i took her out.
i thought i was alone having a teacher attack my child and truly feel for
those that cannot hs their children. sorry to ramble you just brought back
memories.
tina


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/20/02 11:10:42 AM, sheran@... writes:

<< Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
cutesy stories. Arthur gets the chicken pox, Barbie makes a friend,
pretty little pony type books. >>

If she likes them, then it's not a problem.

If a child is pressed to read early for the purpose of reading those books
which have no real information, the kid could easily decide reading isn't
worth the bother, based on those books and having been pushed too early.

Bad combination.

And the question involved someone justifying relaxing about reading to a boy
who believes he SHOULD be reading at his age. If the purpose for reading can
be identified (adventure? information? relaxation?) he can discover that
the reading others can do to him and for him will yield a higher level of
return than the things he would be able to read at level one, leve two.

Sandra

marji

Hey Sandra,

I want to thank you very much for your sane answer. It was very helpful to
Liam to hear about Kirby. Liam really needs to know that he is not the
only one. I wish more and more that there were other people living close
by who we could hook up with so that Liam could see how important following
his passion is to learning in a natural way.

We want so much to do the right thing for Liam, and today was the first day
he let me know that he wanted to be doing something he didn't feel he was
up to. He was angry and I could see he felt great despair. It broke my heart.

Thanks again for your answer. In fact, I get a tremendous amount from all
the answers you give. You really help keep me focused on what we're trying
to do.

~Marji~

At 18:59 5/20/02 -0400, you wrote:

>In a message dated 5/20/02 11:10:42 AM, sheran@... writes:
>
><< Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
>who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
>cutesy stories. Arthur gets the chicken pox, Barbie makes a friend,
>pretty little pony type books. >>
>
>If she likes them, then it's not a problem.
>
>If a child is pressed to read early for the purpose of reading those books
>which have no real information, the kid could easily decide reading isn't
>worth the bother, based on those books and having been pushed too early.
>
>Bad combination.
>
>And the question involved someone justifying relaxing about reading to a boy
>who believes he SHOULD be reading at his age. If the purpose for reading can
>be identified (adventure? information? relaxation?) he can discover that
>the reading others can do to him and for him will yield a higher level of
>return than the things he would be able to read at level one, leve two.
>
>Sandra
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

>
> If she likes them, then it's not a problem.


The worrier in me tends to read different opinions on learning and
panics. I hear about people whose kids only read classics and love
them and instantly I'm thinking, "Oh no, what did I do wrong!" lol
Now, I *know* that is wrong, but every once in awhile those panic
attacks get the best of me.


If the purpose for reading can
> be identified (adventure? information? relaxation?) he can
discover that
> the reading others can do to him and for him will yield a higher
level of
> return than the things he would be able to read at level one, leve
two.

My almost five year old is jealous that his older sister gets
Highlight's top secret adventures in the mail and he doesn't. I told
him that I would get them for him but that it would make more sense
to wait until he can read and do them himself. He has asked to be
taught to learn how to read. He's working so hard at it and it's so
sweet. What's even cuter is that my almost three year old sits down
beside him and repeats everything his older brother says. I won't be
surprised if they both start reading together. And here I had myself
all prepared to let them wait until they were 12 years old to learn
how to read! lol

[email protected]

learning to read at the age of 12?



Moving in the direction that makes you happy is merely making the decisions
today that lead you to your destiny tomorrow.
.··-.¸.-··. (`'·.¸(`'·.¸
¸.·'´)¸.·'´) .··-.¸.-··.
`·. .·´ -
Batiste - `·. .·´
`·´ (¸.·'´(¸.·'´
`'·.¸)`'·.¸) `


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 5/21/02 1:38 AM, dbatiste7@... at dbatiste7@... wrote:

> learning to read at the age of 12?

Yes.

Or 13. Or 14. Or 21.

Whenever it's important to them to read.

Joyce

Fetteroll

on 5/20/02 11:54 AM, marji at zintz@... wrote:

> He is either an
> expert at something (anything) the first time he attempts it or he's a
> total failure and stinks at it. He has a real hard time playing a friendly
> game of anything because if he doesn't win, it absolutely crushes him. I
> know that lots of kids go through that, but it daunts me nevertheless.

If it's more than part of his process of deschooling (and perhaps even if it
is part of the process) people have found a lot of comfort in Raising Your
Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. The subtitle is A Guide For Parents
Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and
Energetic.

Pam Sorooshian also recommended The Explosive Child:

> Another book I liked even more than the above (which is a great book) was:
> "The Explosive Child" (From their website) -- The Explosive Child is the
> internationally acclaimed book by Dr. Ross Greene that provides a more
> contemporary conceptualization of inflexible, easily frustrated, explosive
> children, and describes a new, practical, comprehensive approach for helping
> these children at home and school. This approach ­ called the Collaborative
> Problem Solving Approach -- is aimed at decreasing adversarial parent-child
> interactions, reducing family hostility, and improving children's capacities
> for flexibility, frustration tolerance, communication, and self-regulation.
>
> http://www.explosivechild.com/books.html

They may help you with ways to respond to his frustration without getting
frustrated with his frustration.

Joyce

Joseph Fuerst

, and hear REAL books,
> written for real
> > people, and not "itchy, itchy chicken pox" kinds of nothingness
> stories.
>
. Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
> who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
> cutesy stories. Arthur gets the chicken pox, Barbie makes a friend,
> pretty little pony type books. What's the explanation for that


I don't know the explanation....BUT I know Itchy, itchy chicken pox has
been a fun book at our house. Our second dd...now 7, memorized this book
when she was three.....(she "read" it to everyone!) At the time, we knew
several people coping with chicken pox....and I was coping with not exposing
myself at 8.5 months pregnant and not wanting to have a newborn and sibs
with chicken pox. The book added some humor to a crazy situation.
I really thought if you had found the prose of itchy itchy chicken pox
in a poetry book, it would be fun and funny for many kids - especially
since this may well be something within their life experience. But my
little people enjoy some of the cutesy stuff, too....and I would imagine
that it's just fun for them. They also enjoy many mythology stories we read
together.

S

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In a message dated 5/20/02 9:49:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:


> but I bet she has the same kinds of sweet feelings
> about being home that you do about having her there!
>
>
>

you bet! She has become so affectionate again, like she was when she was 3. I
am overwhelmed by the responses I got from my essay, it is moving. I didn't
expect it to touch people, I just wanted to share what a wonderful experience
we are having. Thanks so much for the heartfelt replies, everyone. They are
further affirmations for our decision!
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
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In a message dated 5/21/02 5:29:15 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
fetteroll@... writes:


> people have found a lot of comfort in Raising Your
> Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

<raising hand> this book and borntoexplore.org have been very helpful to our
family! We have gotten the audiobook from the library, and I think there is a
workbook available now.
Ang
SAHM to
Megan Elizabeth 8/8/92 8lbs 8oz
Ashlyn Olivia 7/25/99 9lbs 8oz
Christian James 6/09/01 9lbs 5oz
<A HREF="http://www.twgallery.8m.com/MEGAMOM08.html">Meet MEGAMOM08</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/christian.html">Christian's Birth Story</A>
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/megamom08/mygirlspage.html">My Girls page</A>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 5/20/02 9:14:31 PM, sheran@... writes:

<< My almost five year old is jealous that his older sister gets
Highlight's top secret adventures in the mail and he doesn't. I told
him that I would get them for him but that it would make more sense
to wait until he can read and do them himself. >>

My kids did them when they couldn't read. They could still do the matching
puzzles (many don't involve reading), and I would read to them. I also
showed them the trick of scanning for information, and sometimes they could
do that themselves, because the questions would tell what page of the book
the answer was on. (That's the skill used in portions of the SAT tests and
the Law School tests (LSAT or whatever they're called this season).

Sandra

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In a message dated 5/20/02 11:40:44 PM, dbatiste7@... writes:

<< learning to read at the age of 12? >>

Some do.

Learning to read at the age they learn works better than pressing them to try
to do what they can't yet do.

I know someone who learned at 15, and he's up to speed now. He was a preemie
who talked very late too. He could have dwelt in Special Ed Hell for life,
or he could have been kept home, nurtured and loved, and been the 17 year old
he is today. That's what happened. He was over here last week.

His three siblings read late too, but not that late. His mom's account of
all that is
here:

http://www.unschooling.com/library/index.shtml



Sandra

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In a message dated 5/21/02 7:00:37 AM, fuerst@... writes:

<<
I don't know the explanation....BUT I know Itchy, itchy chicken pox has
been a fun book at our house. Our second dd...now 7, memorized this book
when she was three.....(she "read" it to everyone!) >>

Holly loves "All Tutus Should be Pink," or whatever it is.

What they like, they like. But what's pressed on them for the sake of
learning to read can be crippling to their love of reading or their desire to
learn more.

We have lots of read-aloud and beginning reader things, but they're not the
life-changing books. "Move Along, Frog" was a big hit with my boys, and it's
about something real. I don't mean to disparage all beginning readers,
honestly!!! Just to disparage the idea that learning to read at the age of
six is VITAL, or the idea that reading those books makes the difference
between future success and the lack thereof.

Sandra

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We love Move Along Frog.
"Better move on frog, this hole is full of bees."
Emily can now read that book and does, to her little brother who's first few
sentances include,
"Eyes in hole"
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

Diane

> > Yet I have a 8-almost 9 year old daughter
> > who reads as well as any adult but gets really excited about the
> > cutesy stories. Arthur gets the chicken pox, Barbie makes a friend,
> > pretty little pony type books. What's the explanation for that

I know that many times *I* want to read stuff that doesn't tax me...Star Trek
novels, light reading of whatever sort. What I refer to as "bubble gum for the
eyes. Only occasionally do I want to read stuff that's really at the limit of my
ability. It's tiring.

:-) Diane